lostnny is offline lostnny Post #1  January 2,2011, 1:20pm
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I have been talking daily with a guy and we have so very nuh in common.and we laugh so much. He has said he wants me to come visit and ask if this month was too soon. now here's were it gets sticky. He not me brought up the "if I moved there what ifs. and he said it would be best if i had a job outside the home. No problem I have worked since I was 16 and have a good job that i have had for 20 years plus. Jokingly I said i could work in his company and he seriously said sure I teach you what you need to know. anyway he was all for it couldn't wait. then new year's eve we talked for hours again and I left to go to work and he's been cool every since . To the point and I quote "he's not sure if he'll ever want to live with anyone but the day before he was sure. And if I do come visit he might just get up and go to town and leave me sitting there. (In a strange house , in a strange state, knowing no one but him.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  January 2,2011, 2:03pm
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lostnny wrote :
He not me brought up the "if I moved there what ifs.
Do you mean if things were to work out, that you or he would be willing relocate or you would move just to be with him?.

If you haven't even met this man yet. you're putting the cart before the horse here. Meet first- talk future later..
wrote :
I left to go to work and he's been cool every since . To the point and I quote "he's not sure if he'll ever want to live with anyone but the day before he was sure. And if I do come visit he might just get up and go to town and leave me sitting there. (In a strange house , in a strange state, knowing no one but him.
If you are looking for a committed relationship leading to marriage, then this should be a red flag and possibly a dealbreaker.

IMHO..do not go to him, he should come to visit you if you have these fears.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; January 2,2011 at 4:03pm.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #3  January 2,2011, 3:59pm
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That seems like really serious conversations for someone you have not met in person.
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #4  January 2,2011, 10:56pm
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Your English skills could use some brushing up because it's hard to understand what you wrote, but I think what you said was that you guys talked about getting together, he said he'd like that, you said okay I'll do it, and then he backed off. Am I right? If so, you read about this all the time. I wouldn't take him seriously because I'm willing to bet money it will be a big mistake if you go to live with him.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  January 2,2011, 11:59pm
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Sounds like he was telling you what he thought you wanted to hear. Then, realizing how far he went, changed what he was telling you.

I'd suggest moving on to someone you can rely on a bit more. If a guy acts like this now, how will he behave when things are more serious?
 
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