Too blunt , honest.or too inquisitive is it a bad thing when talkling to men


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honestlyspeaking is offline honestlyspeaking Post #1  January 1,2011, 1:45pm
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Hello,I want this question answered by a man because women and men think differently and I want to understand a mans perspective not a womans interpretation or expeience. This is the scenario..there is a guy who has all these qualities that you like for a friendship or more. You are okay with the idea that he might not be into you for more because the bottom line is (i could be wrong a man knows what he is attracted to/wants and why should I waste my time trying to have him accept me). Was telling him that he was attractive,nice profile and didnt see nor understand the need of him using a dating service too forward ? Do I owe him an apology or was I too intrusive? Each man is different. I always believed men had it easier especially if attractive to find their soul mates and get married..maybe not so.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  January 1,2011, 2:04pm
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honestlyspeaking wrote :
Was telling him that he was attractive,nice profile and didnt see nor understand the need of him using a dating service too forward ? Do I owe him an apology or was I too intrusive?
To me this would be somewhat of a compliment. Why do you feel you owe him an apology? Not sure about being intrusive, unless it was an first email... I think we've all heard this at some point in time.

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I always believed men had it easier especially if attractive to find their soul mates and get married..maybe not so.
Huh! why would you believe this? It's equally as hard.
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  January 1,2011, 4:20pm
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I agree with taking it as a compliment; that's likely what I would have done.

(One good thing about dealing with men, is they generally can't be bothered about looking for hidden meanings unless it's an occupational communication.)

That said, a compliment should be objective, and related to an actual noteworthy acheivement. When a compliment doesn't meet this standard, it can make the speaker seem weak.

I suggest you not apologize - just be fun and interesting, and honest; hopefully your partner will be drawn to that.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #4  January 1,2011, 7:17pm
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Sounds like a complement to me. I personally would rather have a woman say too much than not enough.

Please don't let any man let you be afraid to be open and honest and give complements.
 
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Beachedgenie is offline Beachedgenie Post #5  January 1,2011, 10:29pm
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I think the men in here are mostly even-tempered with a good head on their shoulders and will take your comments as a complement. But not all men are like this.
I just wanted to say, that complements like 'I think you're cute as heck' are great, but if you GUSH over a guy he may think of you as a 'quick and easy' "relationship", or you may come off as 'needy'.
...and never ever, ever apologize for being nice or saying something nice, if he reacts badly then he has issues and you need to move on.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  January 2,2011, 5:16am
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I don't find the statement, "too honest", "blunt", "inquisitive" or "intrusive"............ just weird........... "What's a guy like you doing on a site like this?" (same site you're on?)..........It comes across as if only desperate people (including you?)........use dating sites? Why assume or say this?.........Men do not have it easier, by the way........just as difficult finding an attractive , suitable partner .......in real life or on dating sites........

honestlyspeaking wrote :
. Was telling him that he was attractive,nice profile and didnt see nor understand the need of him using a dating service too forward ?

I always believed men had it easier especially if attractive to find their soul mates and get married..maybe not so.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #7  January 2,2011, 10:11am
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I can see how someone could take this the wrong way because it can start to take on that "...but there must be something wrong with you, now let's find out what that is" vibe.
 
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honestlyspeaking is offline honestlyspeaking Post #8  January 4,2011, 10:57am
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Thanks for the different points of view and I do honestly see that men have the same problems making connections too.I could see, though a compliment, the email could be taken as a positive to him but as a negative for me...seeming that Im on the same sight too..Ugh! I dont feel the need now to apologize but to leave well enough alone and if he is interested (God I hope so) he will let me know. If the email was taken the wrong way oh well all I can do is learn how to tighten up my written communication skills and move on. Thanks guys!
 
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