ok so this girl I'm in comm with nudged me the other day b/c I guess I forgot to send her my first q's. So I did and then she skipped the rest of the guided comm and sent an email (no problem). But then she went ahead and just spilled her guts about everything about her and her recent past. She gave me the whole list of things she can't do, won't do and does do. I guess she was just out of a relationship that ended badly, so I guess that means I need to know that right off the bat. Oh as well as her living situation.
Does this strike anyone as coming on way too strong and ridding the possible future relationship of any mystery? attraction?
That is a little strange. If there are deal breakers in there then don't respond. If very upfront people turn you off, then I would not respond either.
But, I think someone who just lays it all out there is not something to necessarily run from right away.
Interesting that you don't have a close option for your poll. No judgement other than it really doesn't sound like she's in a place to approach a relationship with an open mind and clean slate.
I like my new beginnings to actually be new beginnings. People who like to talk about their bad ending (or seem preoccupied by it or still reactive because of it) haven't panned out for me.
Usually leaving things at, "by the way I am divorced" should be enough if she wants you to know that, especially since EH does not allow you to state that in the profile, or did not when I used it... so, that may be important and a dealbreaker to some people... but usually, speaking from experience here, people who give you too much information about how they got hurt the last time, or hoping you are not just like their ex by describing him to you are usually not over their experiences and ready to date quite yet. Part of getting over a past relationship is letting it go and forgetting all about it to where there is no need to mention it, unless, as I mentioned, there is a divorce or kids involved. My current boyfriend knows I was married and for how long, and that is all he knows... not even the ex's name, when I got married, etc... those details are no longer relevant. Hope this helps!
Sorry if I rambled and good luck!
You did not add the "close" option... as mentioned above. Maybe you could try a bit more communication and see if this continues to be the case, then I would say... meet her if she's cute and see if you like her... and hope you get lucky... and help her forget her ex for a little while... and then hear how she compares you to him... LOL! Just kiddding! Good luck though.
Last edited by Jesisi; December 28,2010 at 4:03pm.
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