A bit confused and not sure where to go from here


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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #11  January 2,2011, 9:33am
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mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

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oshae wrote :
So this busy holiday season has come and gone. And I have been keeping in touch with this girl via text and the odd phone call. I was out of town for New Years and she made sure to text me to ask how I was etc. I talked to her last night and we made plans to go to a movie or just hang out tonight.

I am looking forward to it but one thing that is on my mind is whether or not I should make a "move" on her. After all that has occurred from my original post and the time that has passed and all the uncertainty, should I try to hold her hand in the theater or give her a kiss goodnight? Should I ask her first if she is comfortable with that? This is the most difficult to read girl I have ever encountered.
I am glad things are looking up! I always think it is awkward to be "asked" if a guy can hold my hand or kiss me. I'd rather he just move in if that's what he wants. A little assertiveness, but not aggressiveness, is always welcome. It shows me that he is interested in me, but also respects me as a person if he's not too aggressive. For instance, holding her hand at the movie or kissing her good night is assertive. Grabbing her boob in the theater is aggressive.
Good luck!
 
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mstalanon is offline mstalanon Post #12  January 2,2011, 12:00pm
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is over the moon for a fresh new year

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oshae wrote :
If I have learnt anything however, it is that I must simply just talk to her and find out her feelings and intentions. I just don't want to come on too strongly and make her think what I want is some super serious relationship leading to marriage. What I really want is that special someone to take out to movies and events, to hold my hand and rest their head on my shoulder on the couch. Someone that can give me a hug when I need one, and someone that I can return all these same things to.
Do say this, just like this.

If that's what she wants too, she'll be receptive.

If it's not what she wants too, you need to know that now, and go ahead and move on.

ETA: not at the movie, though.....maybe after you can grab a snack or something and just chat. Also, asking for kiss or hand holding IS awkward. If you feel like holding her hand, do so.

Good luck!
Last edited by mstalanon; January 2,2011 at 12:03pm. Reason: More to add after addl post reading
 
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oshae is offline oshae Post #13  January 2,2011, 6:59pm
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Ah well I figured things had to go downhill. I even called it last night right after I talked to her and asked her if she wanted to see a movie and she said "yes".

I texted her this afternoon to see how she is and she is sick. Could be an excuse but perhaps not since I know she has been battling something all Christmas, but still. So I'm told she will take a nap and let me know how she feels and if she's still up for going out. I even offered to just come visit her if she didn't feel like going anywhere and to bring her something like soup or tea. It's now 9:00pm at night and I haven't heard a peep. And I have no plan to call or text her.

All I want is to have a bit of time with her in person so I can get this mess figured out. Even if she tells me to get lost I don't care, I just need to make sense of things. I've been in a similar situation once in the past but the girl didn't make any contact with me whatsoever so I took the hint. This one still calls and texts me and seems genuinely interested in how I am and what I'm up to. But in almost a month I cannot get any alone time with her. Is she afraid of me? Does she think I have nothing but dishonorable intentions towards her? No end to my confusion in sight and I'm tired of this feeling in my stomach.
 
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