she told me she takes birth control...............


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themasteroftheuniverse is offline themasteroftheuniverse Post #1  November 12,2010, 11:44pm
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I went on a date and we seemed to hit it off pretty well.
Upon one of our conversations towards the end of the night, she mentioned that she took birth control, I beleive it kinda slipped cause she was trying to explain some other medication she was taking and mentioned combining it with her birth control.
Anyway, after she mentioned that, I kinda freaked out (def kept it to myself), I had all these questions in my head about why shes on birth control and why would she tell me that.
Well, just didn't know how to go about this. We skyped for hours 3 days prior, on each day leading to the date, and talked on the phone as well much. This was our first date in person. I do like her but this birth control thing freaked me out. Just don't know how to go about it, or even if its something worth mentioning.
I'm glad she is protecting against pregnancy, but I'm def not ready for sex with her, and just makes me think of her as maybe being "easy" or having a very sexual past. Am I thinking to much about this considering I really dont even know her, what questions can I say to get more info without being disrespectful or personal?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #2  November 13,2010, 12:09am
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I don't know anything about how sexually active she is, but I will tell you that even women who aren't sexually active can be on birth control pills for other reasons, such as regulating their periods or to control acne. The mere fact that she is on birth control doesn't actually say a lot about either her present or past sex life (other than, perhaps, that she takes responsibility for her body and for preventing unwanted pregnancy).

There is nothing for you to ask her about at this point because it is quite simply none of your business. If/when you get to the point where it looks like you both want to move forward with sex, then you can talk about responsibilities for birth control.

Now; why does it freak you out so much that she mentioned it? What if she is sexually active? Are you looking for someone who hasn't had sex? (I take it that you are quite young?)
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #3  November 13,2010, 12:50am
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1) Maybe nervous chatter and too much information but that's it.

2)She may mention it casually, in a matter of fact way..not directed at you specifically ,so?

3) She's not saying she wants sex with you she's chattering about some medical stuff. That's not an invitation to want sex with you.

4) And she should be a virgin? Never had a relationship before? Or use as-needed birth control? Educate yourself...

5) It's not as if she whipped a condom a out of her purse and said "hey, let's go"... funny you read it that way

themasteroftheuniverse wrote :
1)she mentioned that she took birth control, I beleive it kinda slipped cause she was trying to explain some other medication she was taking and mentioned combining it with her birth control.

2)I do like her but this birth control thing freaked me out.

3)I'm def not ready for sex with her

4)makes me think of her as maybe being "easy" or having a very sexual past.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  November 13,2010, 1:13am
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You really need to read up some on what birth control pills are used for. Besides the obvious, and what neardc stated, some women use it to control hormone levels. Also, starting and stopping any kind of BC method can wreak havoc on your body. They affect energy levels as well as sleep. Believe me, I know this first hand.

You should just ignore this bit of information until it is relevant to you and she as a couple.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  November 13,2010, 12:55pm

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she's a harlot. you had every right to freak out and you should dump her now.

 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #6  November 13,2010, 1:41pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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No reason to be freaked out about the fact that she's taking birth control, or that she told you. Then again, maybe it's a conspiracy to lull you into a false sense of security so you'll mistakenly get her pregnant so she can use you to support her and her miscreant relatives. (ok, maybe not that last part).
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #7  November 13,2010, 1:57pm
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What exactly is your concern?

That she is on birth control?

Or that she told you she is on birth control?

You said the only reason she mentioned it is because it was relative to the conversation about other medications?
 
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VolGal is offline VolGal Post #8  November 13,2010, 7:09pm
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Every poster before me has given you ample reasons not to freak out about the information you have been given.

The only thing that I can add to this discussion is that ... perhaps she wanted you to know that, in the event you get into hot-and-heavy petting and a home run occurred, then she has taken care of contraception.

That said, I wouldn't trust it. There ARE a lot of reasons women use birth control pills (regulate menstrual cycles, can't-stop-and-start, etc.), but you should ALSO use your own method of contraception until you reach a comfort level. There's nothing like "you have been served" with a paternity petition.
 
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Bijou13 is offline Bijou13 Post #9  November 13,2010, 7:28pm
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First of all no need to freak out. If anything it is commendable that she is protecting herself from an unwanted pregnancy.

Second, there are a number of reasons why we women go on birth control and its not only to prevent pregnancies or because we are slutty. Some forms of BC take time to work and so someone who just on the pill is more likely to get pregnant than someone thats been on it for a year. Also, BC alleviates a lot of PMS, cramps, lessens blood flow and actually keeps menstruation regulated. I know women that are on it because they have endometriosis and the docs are testing out whether this will help the condition.

So please, just because a girl says she's on the pill or whatever, don't take that as the girl is easy. Its a smart tool to protect and aid her in a ton of physical conditions.
 
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Raw_Truth is offline Raw_Truth Post #10  November 13,2010, 8:10pm
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I'd suggest the OP get used to the idea that many/majority/most any single gal will have a sexual past.
 
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