funlover1 is offline funlover1 Post #1  October 12,2010, 8:06am
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I've been in a relationship for close to a year and it has been wonderful. Both of us are very much in love. For the first 6-months our time together was limited for various reasons. We always have enjoyed each other's company, great sex life,much in common etc. The past few months we have been able to spend much more time together with things appearing to go well. Recently my girlfriend said she needs more time to herself due to various reasons that all make sense. She says I'm been klingy and need to spend more time for myself ans she is right. I have never thought about it until now. I have never thought of myself as needy or desparate. We both had been wrapped up in the excitment of falling in love. My question is.. I have read about the topic and they say it's a trait to avoid in someone. I am smart and love my partner very much can the damage be reversed by backing off and slowing down some? I am willing to do whatever it takes. We are both middle age and mature adults.
Last edited by funlover1; October 12,2010 at 8:08am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  October 12,2010, 8:43am
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First of all, stop reading stupid books and start using your own brain.

Second, if your girlfriend is asking you for space, then it's not you both who have been lost in bliss - it's you who has been so wrapped up in his own feelings that you've been oblivious to her needs and to what is healthy in a relationship. Being attached at the hip is far from healthy.

So sounds like now that it's been brought to your attention, you do agree that there needs to be more balance between time together and time apart. In that case, all that you have to do is achieve it. There is no magic formula for this and every couple is different and every couple has to work this out for themselves.

My advice to you is get back to some hobbies and things you've possibly given up or been neglecting while you've been spending all the time with her. Acquire some new things to do. Remember that even in a relationship you are still two people with two identities. What keeps a relationship fresh and interesting is when the two people are able to bring that individuality to the table and expose each other to different views, opinions, ideas and experiences.
 
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Mythical is offline Mythical Post #3  October 12,2010, 8:56am
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Yeah, I agree with dancingfool. You need to delve into some of your interests a little deeper. You become attractive again, when you are furthering yourself, learning more etc, outside of the little love circle you have going between the two of you.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  October 12,2010, 9:27am
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It does sound like more togetherness recently is crowding her.
Clarification on these "various reasons" ( limited time first 6 mo. and now needs space) would help to answer your question

What "damage" are you trying to reverse?

What if you just back off as she requests and see what happens?
funlover1 wrote :

I've been in a relationship for close to a year and it has been wonderful.

For the first 6-months our time together was limited for various reasons.

The past few months we have been able to spend much more time together with things appearing to go well.

Recently my girlfriend said she needs more time to herself due to various reasons that all make sense.

Can the damage be reversed by backing off and slowing down some? We are both middle age and mature adults.
 
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