ninjakicker232 is offline ninjakicker232 Post #1  September 30,2010, 6:19pm
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1.)How do you know when you are over your ex..when you are the one who dumped them?

2.) How do you know if you are both over each other and that it was the right move to do?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 30,2010, 6:32pm
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When you wake up next to someone new, or otherwise forget the ex.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #3  September 30,2010, 6:48pm
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Sounds like you are having second thoughts on the issue....what brought this on?? ( If I may ask)
 
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ninjakicker232 is offline ninjakicker232 Post #4  September 30,2010, 7:15pm
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I think pure missing her. I woke up one morning and it just didn't feel right anymore..but I think it is just the second guess feeling and missing having someone around every day. It was a big change. We were together for almost 4 years.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #5  September 30,2010, 7:33pm
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It takes a little while to get used to not being with someone doesn't it. You also miss sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone that you were once close to. But that doesn't mean that you need to have her or anyone else, you just need to fill the time or the void that you have. That loneliness is tempting you to go back to, and depending on what happened, you will keep rehashing the pasts events out until you get tired of doing it, and then you will want to get out and do something useful. I feel for you, I truly do. Unless that certain someone has done the dirty deed with someone else, you just keep wanting to go back.....it's up to you whether you do or you not.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  October 1,2010, 4:35am
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You are ripe for rebound. Sounds like any warm body will do for now, you are still hooked on the ex, so don't hurt the next one in line and "wake up next to someone new",it's using people for your own ego and comfort, not a relationship. Very bad advice to just use someone to get over the ex.
ninjakicker232 wrote :
I think pure missing her. I woke up one morning and it just didn't feel right anymore..but I think it is just the second guess feeling and missing having someone around every day. It was a big change. We were together for almost 4 years.
 
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Goomph is online now Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  October 1,2010, 6:42am
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How long ago did you part your ways ? Weeks ? Months ?

In my case, even though I initiated the divorce and that was after I knew for sure I had exhausted all possible ways of staying together (I knew of) It took me years to get over it, and be ready to date again.

It takes time for sure, just do not hurt someone else's feelings by rushing into another relationship. take some time off, live by yourself and relax ... You will know when it is the time ....
 
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ninjakicker232 is offline ninjakicker232 Post #8  October 1,2010, 9:13am
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Thank you all for your advice! To restate, we were together for almost four years..and i'm not looking for a new relationship or anyone to fill the void.
 
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boschimsp is online now boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  October 1,2010, 9:50am
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I feel like this is a complex issue. I was also in a relationship with an ex for four years. We broke up 9 months ago.

To me, I knew I was over him when I was at a point where I had forgiven him and moved on. I felt at peace with the situation. I was at a place where I could see myself dating someone again, but not to fill some void of loneliness.

That said, I think you can be over someone, healthy and ready to date and still miss them from time to time. Sometimes I'll see something that triggers a memory and I might find myself missing that part of the relationship for a little bit, but generally once the nostalgia passes I don't think about them again for quite awhile.
 
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Bearling is offline Bearling Post #10  October 1,2010, 11:29pm
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ninjakicker232 wrote :
1.)How do you know when you are over your ex..when you are the one who dumped them?

2.) How do you know if you are both over each other and that it was the right move to do?
1. I actually thought about this before, so the yardstick of mine is that I'll say I'm over my ex if I wouldn't feel a thing if I hear my ex is seeing/getting married with someone.

2. It might be hard to know if your ex is over you. You can't read somebody's mind, and even if you've read his or her behavior... hmmm human is complicated... the message your ex sent might not be something you could interpret. Anyways, if you are over your ex, why would you care if he or she is over you yet??
Last edited by Bearling; October 1,2010 at 11:31pm.
 
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