How long should I wait for a girl?


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mrsolo is offline mrsolo Post #1  September 29,2010, 12:01pm
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I went out on a first date with a girl and had a good time. She said she had fun, too and would love to do it again.

I've asked her out the past two weeks and she ended up cancelling on the day of the date. She explained that she likes me and would love to go out again, but her work schedule is very stressful and she's been too tired to even go out on her days off.

What do you think is happening? I like the girl a lot, but does she feel the same and is just too busy or is she trying to blow me off?

I explained maybe she can call me when she's ready to go out or if she wants to talk. I just want to know if she's still interested. Should I wait and see if she calls me or should I be the one contacting her?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  September 29,2010, 12:08pm
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mrsolo wrote :
I went out on a first date with a girl and had a good time. She said she had fun, too and would love to do it again.

I've asked her out the past two weeks and she ended up cancelling on the day of the date. She explained that she likes me and would love to go out again, but her work schedule is very stressful and she's been too tired to even go out on her days off.

What do you think is happening? I like the girl a lot, but does she feel the same and is just too busy or is she trying to blow me off?

I explained maybe she can call me when she's ready to go out or if she wants to talk. I just want to know if she's still interested. Should I wait and see if she calls me or should I be the one contacting her?
You've done your part...the ball is in her proverbial court now.
Someone who claims they're too tired even on their days off, to see you is either having a crazy schedule at work(which may or not be temporary) or, is feeding you a line hoping you'll just fade away..
I'm pretty adept at knowing when someone is attempting to feed me a load of manure..
YMMV.

If I were you, I would not suggest wasting time to figure out which one is the case.
Move on, bro.
Last edited by TheThinker; September 29,2010 at 12:14pm.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #3  September 29,2010, 12:26pm

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mrsolo wrote :
I went out on a first date with a girl and had a good time. She said she had fun, too and would love to do it again.

I've asked her out the past two weeks and she ended up cancelling on the day of the date. She explained that she likes me and would love to go out again, but her work schedule is very stressful and she's been too tired to even go out on her days off.

What do you think is happening? I like the girl a lot, but does she feel the same and is just too busy or is she trying to blow me off?

I explained maybe she can call me when she's ready to go out or if she wants to talk. I just want to know if she's still interested. Should I wait and see if she calls me or should I be the one contacting her?
The first sign that she's not interested in you should have been the "we should do this again" line. That's not what an interested woman says.

She's full of it with the stuff about liking you and wanting to go out again. If she wanted to go out with you and really liked you she'd make time for you and tell you when she wants to get together. Instead she's playing the passive aggressive game with you where she keeps canceling on you and hoping that you'll eventually just stop calling.

It's not up to you to decide if you're going to stop calling now, or do something creepy like find out where she lives and wait for her to come home from work to surprise her so she has no excuse not to have in person interaction with you. (and force her to get a restraining order)
 
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mrsolo is offline mrsolo Post #4  September 29,2010, 1:21pm
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Thanks for the advice guys. That's kinda what I figured.

I wish people would just say what they feel instead of being all confusing. At least come up with an excuse that doesn't leave a guy wondering. Oh well.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #5  September 29,2010, 1:26pm
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She hates your guts. Just let her go.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #6  September 29,2010, 2:03pm
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Its also possible you are plan B where she is seeing someone else.

If she cancelled and still wanted to see you then she would have said an alternate date to meet with you.
 
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KISS_keepitsimplesam is offline KISS_keepitsimplesam Post #7  September 29,2010, 3:06pm
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I think you need to put this one back on her. BTW: I'm not saying she's playing you. What I'm saying is that she needs to decide/declar her priorities. If I'm really into a guy, I'll make time to see/talk to him to let him know that while my work schedule is super-crazy, I'm still thinking of him and I want to see him. On the other hand, it may be that she's so consumed in her myopic world-of-work that she's not aware that she's sacraficing this relationship at the expense of job. Which may or may not be worth it. Either way, I would send her a nice but firm email letting her know that this is on her and see what happens. You should hope for the best but plan for the worse. Good luck!
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #8  September 29,2010, 3:31pm
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Too many unknown variables here. How many times did you try to ask her out? How does she sound when she turns you down, or just plain talking to you. What does she do for a living?

She maybe telling you the truth. She maybe stringing you along.

The trick is to like her, but not be all into her. If you've asked her out several time and she brushes you off, or is truly busy, you did the right thing by tossing it in her court. But just because you tossed it in her court, doesn't mean you do nothing and wait for her to return it. You keep moving on.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #9  September 29,2010, 3:54pm
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This person is probably stringing you along to buy her free meals and entertainment, and jack her sense of self-importance when no one else is around (if she didn't contribute to the cost of the first meeting, this is the likely situation.)

If she is truely busy, the nature of her job should defend that statement. In my experience, it is unlikely that she is honest.
 
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WA_hiker is offline WA_hiker Post #10  September 29,2010, 4:15pm
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She's probably blowing you off. And if she's not, ask yourself honestly if you really want to date someone whose job leaves her so exhausted that she couldn't find a single window of free time to spend with you throughout an entire two week period.
 
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