Jen1989 is offline Jen1989 Post #1  July 29,2010, 9:44am
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About a month ago I met a guy on eharmony and we did all the steps of the guided communication and emails. Then about a week and a half later we exchanged phone numbers. We have talked on the phone twice since then, but other then that it's just texting through out the day or late at night. I have asked him to call me and we have even set days and times of when he would call, but he never does.
I really like this guy. He's sweet, nice, funny, and charming. We seem to have a lot in common and well I really want to get to know him more other than through text messaging. He says he is busy and I understand that, because I have a job and school to. I just don't understand why he want call me on the phone. I did ask him once and he said it was because we both couldn't hear each other, but I really want to try it again. How can I get him on the phone?

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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  July 29,2010, 9:58am
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Jen1989 wrote :
How can I get him on the phone?
Well, since you've been texting, you could call his number and get him on the phone. But I wouldn't do that. In this case, since he says he's busy, it seems he's busy with a wife or another girlfriend and I would move on to someone else.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  July 29,2010, 9:58am
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What did he mean by "we both can't hear each other"? -- do you know? Do you or he have a hearing problem?

I think you might have to tell him "I don't want an email penpal, I want to talk on the phone" if that's what you want.

Why haven't you met yet? Seems like it would be more productive to just meet.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #4  July 29,2010, 10:44am
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Jen1989 wrote :
About a month ago I met a guy on eharmony and we did all the steps of the guided communication and emails. Then about a week and a half later we exchanged phone numbers. We have talked on the phone twice since then, but other then that it's just texting through out the day or late at night. I have asked him to call me and we have even set days and times of when he would call, but he never does.
So let me see if I understand. You've had phone numbers for about 2 1/2 weeks. And you've talked twice in that time. That's a fair amount of talking since you haven't met yet.

What is your goal? A texting buddy? A phone pal?

wrote :
I really like this guy. He's sweet, nice, funny, and charming. We seem to have a lot in common and well I really want to get to know him more other than through text messaging.
You haven't met. You don't know if any of those things are true.

Are you afraid to meet?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  July 29,2010, 11:13am
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Sounds like either he's avoiding a meet, or he wants you to push the issue.
I say forget about all the talking and YOU suggest a meet, if he doesn't respond, or delays the date, he's not interested.
It's not what he says, it's what he does.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #6  July 29,2010, 11:14am

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If talking to you is not acceptable to him, something is either wrong, another girlfriend, wife, etc., or your relationship is not a priority to him.

Move on.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #7  July 29,2010, 11:19am
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The thinker has said it all.....
 
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Jen1989 is offline Jen1989 Post #8  July 29,2010, 4:16pm
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Thanks for all the great replies.
So, to answer some questions. When he said we couldn't hear each other, he meant that we really couldn't understand what the other was saying. I sctually had swimmers ear the first time we talked and so I couldn't hear that well, so that is why I wanted to try talking on the phone again, since I don't have it anymore.
The reason we haven't met yet is because we live about 9 hours away from each other.
We talk everyday through text messaging where we have all kinds of conversations.
I hope this helps to understand the situation a little better
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #9  July 29,2010, 4:55pm
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Personally I have not a lot of interest in pen pals or texting buddies. Given that you live 3 hours from each other, is it possible that you can find a centrally located town with a coffee shop where you can meet and talk face to face for a couple of hours?

My personal experience has shown me that I can learn much more about someone from a couple of hours together than from weeks of texting or writing.

If you are too busy for this, consider if you have time to fomr a relationship with someone right now. We all are busy in our own lives and dating requires some sort of give from each party. I understand demands of time, however if you want to actually find a partner, it's necessary to take the time to take the time.

Just some thoughts from someone who has been there
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #10  July 29,2010, 5:35pm
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For crying out loud, just ask him if the two of you should meet. If he says yes, then you say, "I love a guy with a plan. Got any ideas?" See what he does then.
 
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