sweetangel58 is offline sweetangel58 Post #1  July 27,2010, 5:46am
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Why do so many men's profiles say that they want an atttractive woman? Being attractive does not have anything to do with love. The ones that say it really have not looked in the mirror. Am I being to harsh. Don't men and woman know that it is what is on the inside and not on the ourside. Confused???
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #2  July 27,2010, 6:14am
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B/c they want an attractive woman.

The good news is that everyone has a different concept of what attractive is. For many people, that's usually someone in the same 'league' (i.e. someone of similar health, symmetry, and fitness).

Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of the people I've met online are major introverts and really don't have a good concept of their own level of physical attractiveness. The more social you are, the more feedback you get, and the better your understanding of who you're interested in/who's usu. interested in you.

You may be seeing profiles of people who are not getting out and meeting people, but are basing their expectations off fantasy rather than the reality of who is out there, single, and actually interested in them.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  July 27,2010, 7:50am
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We all want someone that we find attractive. As luna said, fortunately what each person finds attractive is going to be different.

Also, a lot of people who are new to the online dating world treat it like it's a mail order catalog and they are ordering their greatest fantasy. It takes awhile to wake up and realize that people online are the same people that you meet in your church group.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #4  July 27,2010, 10:00am

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I think a lot of people use the term "attractive" when in reality, they are looking for someone they have an "attraction to". The latter term is all encompassing expressing a desire to meet someone with an array of positive qualities.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #5  July 27,2010, 2:59pm
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And some guys really want that arm candy kind of person because they care about how people think about them. Some guys i know would never settle for less, because how people think about them, is more important then them actually being happy with the person their with.

And these guys are usually dateless and jealous of the world.

As someone else said, attraction means different things for different people. Unfortunately, you maybe reading "I'm looking for an attractive woman", into something more akin to "I'm looking for an attractive person, and you're not it".

My suggestion is to stop and let the other person determine their own attraction and let them decide whether or not you fit their bill. If you decide for them, you will never truly know if they really would have found you attractive.
 
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Emme0264 is offline Emme0264 Post #6  July 27,2010, 6:50pm
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I want someone attractive to ME. I don't really care what someone else might find attractive. Intelligence, kindness and a great sense of humor will make a man much more attractive to me regardless of what he looks like. In fact, if women are busy rejecting men who aren't George Clooneys, that leaves some really amazing guys for people like me!
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #7  July 27,2010, 7:10pm
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Why rail at men for wanting what they want.

The sooner that you realize that you can't change men, you can only change yourself and your beliefs, the better off you will be.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  July 27,2010, 7:19pm
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Well, you wouldn't want to date someone that repulsed you, would you? Yes, attractive can mean many things. And, not everyone is going to be attracted to everyone else.

Keep looking, you will find the person you are looking for.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #9  July 27,2010, 8:52pm

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I was considering creating a thread on this but I am too tired. I was reading the OP and the replies and was considering what is attractive to me. I thought of my ex-husband, ex-boyfriend and ex dates, of course Troy.

I am sure that if I posted pictures of all these guys that I found very attractive, they totally got my motor running, I know exactly what the result would be. No one woman on this board would find every one of them attractive. The why is actually easy, because I know the person they are and you guys would not. If I took the personality of my ex-boyfriend and put it in FWB I would not have had that type of relationship. If I had taken FWB and put his personality in ex-boyfriend I would have never gone out with him. I could take Troy's personality and put it in nearly any man and fall for him, after all I fell for his mind before his body.

Of course, once again, I am wondering why everyone seems to get hung up on the words.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #10  July 27,2010, 9:44pm
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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I

Of course, once again, I am wondering why everyone seems to get hung up on the words.
Because we can't read minds jo?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A cliche but so often cliches are just that because they are true.

I don't think anyone is railing at men for anything here, BTW-women want the same kind of thing-to find a man who is attractive (to them) who sets their pheromones a-jitter and who makes them feel beautiful just by being with the guy. Thats what it's all about.
 
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