shanepl is offline shanepl Post #11  July 27,2010, 10:37pm
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I want someone attractive. That doesn't mean they have to meet any sort of appearance standard, but it does mean that I need to feel real passion and chemistry at some point.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #12  July 27,2010, 11:28pm
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Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, yes, but some men are looking for the cookie cutter of what every guy wants. Now, so do some women also want the same of men...but thankfully everyone matures and looks and attitudes do change over time. Thank god...... but it's not true in all cases. The attraction could be there, but there has to be something else to back it up to keep up the attraction and the relationship....... and I heard that from a very close male friend of mine.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #13  July 28,2010, 12:04am
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

And yes, like it or not, the outside does count for something.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #14  July 28,2010, 7:53am

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RoxyRedhead wrote :
Because we can't read minds jo?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A cliche but so often cliches are just that because they are true.

I don't think anyone is railing at men for anything here, BTW-women want the same kind of thing-to find a man who is attractive (to them) who sets their pheromones a-jitter and who makes them feel beautiful just by being with the guy. Thats what it's all about.
But Roxy I was agreeing with you guys. Attraction is different for everyone. If we get hung up on what the word means we hurt ourselves. I don't like when people hurt themselves. Especially when I know there is someone out there that will find them attractive.
 
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seachelle17 is offline seachelle17 Post #15  July 28,2010, 10:23am
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maybe when they say they want an attractive woman what they mean is they are looking for a woman who thinks of herself as attractive, not someone who might have insecurities and sits there thinking, well i'm not attractive, i won't even answer that guy
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #16  July 28,2010, 10:38am
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sweetangel58 wrote :
Why do so many men's profiles say that they want an atttractive woman?
I would guess, because that's what they're looking for.
 
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sweetangel58 is offline sweetangel58 Post #17  July 28,2010, 11:16am
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My inquiry did open a whole can of worms. It does give me a different look on things. Must admit within these last years I have changed myself and friends to tell me how much more younger I look. Now I do believe I am more attractive than I was in my early 40's

I do know, I am in no hurry and I will find someone else when the time is right.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #18  July 28,2010, 11:47am
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sweetangel58 wrote :
My inquiry did open a whole can of worms. It does give me a different look on things. Must admit within these last years I have changed myself and friends to tell me how much more younger I look. Now I do believe I am more attractive than I was in my early 40's

I do know, I am in no hurry and I will find someone else when the time is right.
It's not really a can of worms, but just remember: subjective decisions are based on subjective criteria.
You can't possibly know what someone means when they say "I need someone that's attractive"...it mean different things, to different people.

If you look at a guy's profile and think, "holy smokes he can't be serious, look at him"., the fact is someone is going to find him attractive.
And so forth...and such.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #19  July 28,2010, 12:03pm
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TheThinker wrote :
It's not really a can of worms, but just remember: subjective decisions are based on subjective criteria.
You can't possibly know what someone means when they say "I need someone that's attractive"...it mean different things, to different people.

If you look at a guy's profile and think, "holy smokes he can't be serious, look at him"., the fact is someone is going to find him attractive.
And so forth...and such.
There are actually two threads on here at the moment with women saying the same thing : "How dare he want an attractive woman, because he sure isn't!"
We are all judgemental. We all have likes and dislikes and preferences and deal-breakers. I find it a little sad that some women can be so quick to castigate men for having physical preferences, and don't see that they clearly have their own.
Give the guys a break. Ask "What do you consider attractive? What physical traits really matter to you?" Get an idea what is truly attractive to him before you dismiss him for having a preference.
 
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mary_mary is offline mary_mary Post #20  July 28,2010, 12:19pm

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(I'm picking, not picking on, this poster! as an example of what I'm responding to.)

DancingFool wrote :
We all want someone that we find attractive. As luna said, fortunately what each person finds attractive is going to be different.
I think we're giving waaaay too much benefit of the doubt here.

If someone meant to say he was looking for a woman he "finds attractive", he'd say what that is.

We all know what "attractive" means. If we didn't, men wouldn't use the word. It would be pointless.

It means an appearance that is in conformity with a particular physical type that in actually represents a fairly narrow range within the spectrum of women's appearances.

It means an appearance that matches the cultural stereotype of "attractive woman" of the place and time in question.

Really, if it didn't mean that, it just wouldn't mean anything.

If a woman doesn't consider herself "attractive" according to that standard, she will not consider communicating with that man. So if he meant something else, he may be the loser. Of course, he may be the loser even if he did mean that, but that's his choice.

Myself, I'll take people who describe themselves (i.e. their values, beliefs, activities ... their appearance, if they think it's important) so that I can get a feeling for who they are (and I'll do the same), not people who publish a laundry list of what they want. Especially if what they want seems to derive more from stereotypes and senses of entitlement than from any genuine interest in another person.

Why do they do it? I don't care, I just click on by.

Yes, we may be the losers, if men who do this really are worthwhile people and their lack of self-examination cut us out of their pool. But like so many other circumstances we encounter in life, there's nothing we can do about it.
 
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