He says he is falling in LOVE with me????


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boarderchick4629 is offline boarderchick4629 Post #1  July 17,2010, 8:48pm
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Ok I have been using eharmony e-mail with this guy for about a week. Today he sends me a message that say he thinks he is falling in love with me. We have not even met yet!!!

Is he just romantic or creepy??

I am kind of freaked out by this!

Advice please. Should I keep talking to him or stop communication?
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  July 17,2010, 10:36pm
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Hi boarderchick,

Could be he just doesn't know what love is and thinks a cyber-based infatuation or excitement about someone counts as love.

Could be he does know what he's doing and it's some form of manipulation.

I'd probably end things. If you don't though, you might want to tell him your response to him saying that, and see where that goes.
 
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boarderchick4629 is offline boarderchick4629 Post #3  July 18,2010, 10:12am
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Thank you so much for getting back to me.

I told him that it freaked me out and explained that it takes me a long time to fall in love with someone (in person).

He proceeded to tell me that he gets carried away easily and involved fast with women. I am still not sure if I will continue to talk with him. I would write him off now, but we so much in common.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #4  July 18,2010, 10:50am
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I would probably close communication, but that's just me. I'm very verbal and not in a big hurry - everything else in negotiable. If someone wants to play video games rather than talk to me or starts talking about being exclusive after a week, it's obvious we don't suit.

So, don't talk yourself into being ok with it - ask yourself how it made you feel and respond accordingly
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #5  July 18,2010, 10:57am
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Some people aren't very eloquent online.

Some people don't understand their own feelings.

Some people know exactly what they're doing.

You just don't know. However, listen to your gut. If you feel creeped out by it, then BE creeped out by it and follow through on that feeling. Close him, or send an email that you're not comfortable, or whatever.

If you're feeling adventurist, meet up with him, pack some heat or pepper spray and see
 
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DashMN is offline DashMN Post #6  July 18,2010, 11:59am
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boarderchick4629 wrote :
Ok I have been using eharmony e-mail with this guy for about a week. Today he sends me a message that say he thinks he is falling in love with me. We have not even met yet!!!

Is he just romantic or creepy??

I am kind of freaked out by this!

Advice please. Should I keep talking to him or stop communication?
I would guess he's fairly insecure. Your interactions with him have, in whatever way, given him some validation that causes him to feel good about himself. He may not recognize it, but more than likely that's what he's really "falling in love" with.

On the flip side, telling him you were freaked out could have been perceived to be criticism, which would cause many creeps to overreact because of the sudden invalidation or rejection of their affections. Doesn't sound like he overreacted; instead he gave you what seems to be an honest assessment of himself.

In any case, if you do continue to communicate, proceed with caution.
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #7  July 18,2010, 12:15pm

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boarderchick4629 wrote :
Ok I have been using eharmony e-mail with this guy for about a week. Today he sends me a message that say he thinks he is falling in love with me. We have not even met yet!!!

Is he just romantic or creepy??

I am kind of freaked out by this!

Advice please. Should I keep talking to him or stop communication?
this tells you what you need to know.
 
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SpeaktoMe is offline SpeaktoMe Post #8  July 19,2010, 1:57am
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he is already showing signs of being 'unbalanced'. no one can fall in love with anyone, before they have even met you.

next he will be telling u not to see other men as he is the one for you.

i would close this one quick
 
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sciencegirl is offline sciencegirl Post #9  July 19,2010, 8:38am
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Very creepy. I would close him. Sounds like he could easily become a stalker. go with your gut
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #10  July 19,2010, 4:23pm
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[quote=boarderchick4629;1046419]Thank you so much for getting back to me.

I told him that it freaked me out and explained that it takes me a long time to fall in love with someone (in person).

He proceeded to tell me that he gets carried away easily and involved fast with women. I am still not sure if I will continue to talk with him. I would write him off now, but we so much in common.[/quote]

RED flag! Thats because he wants it that way. Why is he still single? Ask yourself that.

How do you really know if you have that much in common? You havent even met. Ask yourself this. Is he just agreeing with me? Where is the proof?
 
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