brighteyes1968 is offline brighteyes1968 Post #1  June 10,2010, 1:33pm
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Hello,

I am a 41 year old single mom of a 14 yr old son who is trying to get back in the dating game after 6 years. In the past 14 years I have only had one relationship and it was dysfunctional!

I have spent the last three years in college full time and working on my "baggage" and am ready to date. However, I am suffering from a chronic illness for the past five years which has gotten worse the last three years. Due to this I have put on a lot of weight which I am trying to get off but is proving a little difficult due to my illness. I am currently not working right now to try to get my health on a better track.

My goal is to be ready for part time employment in the fall as my career is seasonal (education). Physically, I am not great, but emotionally I am finally ready to start meeting people and dating in the hopes of eventually finding one person.

My question is, how do I answer questions about what do I do for a living or inform someone of my health. There are some days that I just don't feel well and my mobility is sometimes limited.

I don't want to share too much too soon and scare someone away but I also want someone to know and accept me and love me for who I am. If someone can love me as I am now, then they will love me when hopefully I can be in better health and skinnier. However, I understand due to being overweight I might not be for everyone.

How or when do I share this information?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 10,2010, 2:49pm
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In terms of your occupation, I would consider it fine to say "teacher." (Assuming that is correct.)

Since this is the profession you intend to be in, I do not consider the temporary condition of unemployment to require disclosure (obviously unemployment may be expected from time to time, so I do not consider it appropriate to state that as one's occupation.)

***

My thought on an illness, is to disclose it only when it is germane to a specific plan made with a specific partner (or you are asked.)

Weight is best disclosed through photos.
 
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brighteyes1968 is offline brighteyes1968 Post #3  June 10,2010, 3:00pm
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Well I have posted my photos so as not to surprise anyone.

My occupation is Educational Assistant or Child and Youth Worker.

Thanks for the reply.

 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  June 10,2010, 5:18pm
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Then that is the entry I would make in the occupational field of a dating profile.

Personally, I favor meeting as soon as possible; during my first meetings I always ask about occupation. Once asked, I think you should disclose.

For myself, I would be fine with a woman not having a job at the moment - so long as she appeared to exhibit the career orientation I require (and did not expect me to carry her.)

Using your time constructively is another way to help give a favorable impression.
 
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