Lisalight2012 is offline Lisalight2012 Post #1  May 21,2010, 12:23pm
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Hello,
I met an older guy on a dating site...he is 12 years my senior, but I suspect the age difference will be minimized as we are both career minded, single, no children, and christians. I have never met anyone I am attracted to older than me...and now the distance factor is also a concern...even though many relationships can work out with mutual commitment and dedication. We live 550 miles apart...but still chat online and talk on the phone and email. I find this older gentleman very intriguing as he has a very tender heart for Christ. He has never been married, and has always yearned for a Godly women. Since we've only met, we are merely working on a relational level to establish mutual comfort and resepct in terms of friendship. However, when discussing the topic of potential for marriage and commitment, he tells me things to leave me wondering if he is truly genuingly interested to pursue a relationship with me someday or merely putting a front. We have known one another over 1.5 months..and have communicated daily close to a month...and now finally talking on the phone. I find much respect for him and treasures the time he shares with me in his lengthy emails about his feelings towards me...in a respetful maner...He is a gentleman and never has tried to rush me into anything...I am confused because in some of his emails...he saids that "he can see a future with me in time, should it be God's will." He also tells me that is drawn to me and attracted to me...and would like to someday give me a wedding and a ring...as he knows I desire a commitment with a man in marriage..as well as he. I enjoy being friends with him, and thinks he is attracted to me...and wants to have a future with me...but he is playing the cool game...and not wanting to rush me...only after 1.5 months...I know that if a guy has no slight indication of wanting you in the future as a wife, then they would not bring up the marriage and wedding and love issue this early on..right? I don't know how to interprete his signals...because he has even told me that he "he can find himself loving me easily..should it be the right time for us in the future." In one email, he attempted to woo me by flirting with me...so I don't know what to think...I know we both have romantic desires for one another...just not on that level yet...please advice...
Thanks,
 
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OldManNoah is offline OldManNoah Post #2  May 21,2010, 12:40pm
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"he can see a future with me in time, should it be God's will."

There's a reason for time - so that not everything happens at once.
Your guy seems to understand that better than you.


1.5 months?

You didn't even say if you know what he looks like or if he chews with his mouth closed. So all your questions seem way ahead of the game.

Ok, so you're excited by someone who's captured your attention in a good way. Not a bad thing. But I always wonder who's gonna be the one to uproot?


What's it all mean? What do all the things mean that he says? I don't know. But if you slow yourself down and let things unfold, more shall be revealed, no?

In the mean time, enjoy and learn, i guess.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #3  May 21,2010, 3:41pm
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wrote :
He also tells me that is drawn to me and attracted to me...and would like to someday give me a wedding and a ring...as he knows I desire a commitment with a man in marriage..as well as he. I enjoy being friends with him, and thinks he is attracted to me...and wants to have a future with me...but he is playing the cool game...and not wanting to rush me...only after 1.5 months...I
Have you actually met in person?

Mention of marriage after 1.5 months is most definitely not "playing the cool game."
 
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Lisalight2012 is offline Lisalight2012 Post #4  May 21,2010, 6:38pm
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Iconography wrote :
Have you actually met in person?

Mention of marriage after 1.5 months is most definitely not "playing the cool game."
No, I have not met him yet in person.. Although I'd like to...He wants to be my friend, but why talk about marriage..
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  May 21,2010, 10:23pm
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Hi Lisalight! and welcome to EHA!

I don't think you have enough info to know whether this guy is sincere or is playing you in some way. I don't think you can know that about someone you have not met in person.

If a man told me he wants or hopes to marry me, after 1.5 months of online/phone contact, I would end it right there.

My advice is not to get overly involved with him, not even just in your feelings, until you have met him.

And not to throw very cold water on it ... but internet con artists sometimes use the approach he is using with you. Be careful!
 
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