Round 2: Not finding any female virgins after 6 months...


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malevirgin is offline malevirgin Post #1  May 14,2010, 11:51pm
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The Mods closed my first thread as the debate got too heated. They suggested I start a new thread if I want to continue the discussion. Please keep it civil so this thread won't be closed. We can start off where we left off on the last thread at

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...-6-months.html (Not finding any female virgins after 6 months...)
 
 
julitasoup is offline julitasoup Post #2  May 15,2010, 12:54am
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Since I am a new member, I have no idea what the original post was, but I'd like to.
 
 
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #3  May 15,2010, 1:55am

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i don't think there is anything left to discuss.

you know that your list of qualifiers is so long that your pool of potential mates is very, very small.

the end.
 
 
Glimflicker is offline Glimflicker Post #4  May 15,2010, 4:28am
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malevirgin wrote :
The Mods closed my first thread as the debate got too heated. They suggested I start a new thread if I want to continue the discussion. Please keep it civil so this thread won't be closed. We can start off where we left off on the last thread at

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...-6-months.html (Not finding any female virgins after 6 months...)
The first thread got closed due to the heated discussion, yet you wish to continue where it left off? It looks like you went through the whole gamut of responses until things devolved into personal attacks. What exactly are you hoping to accomplish with this follow-up thread? Perhaps you should rephrase your original question or ask a completely new one to avoid the same fate as your previous thread.
 
 
TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  May 15,2010, 5:39am
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malevirgin wrote :
The Mods closed my first thread as the debate got too heated. They suggested I start a new thread if I want to continue the discussion. Please keep it civil so this thread won't be closed.
Ok, have you found any virgins after 6 months and 9 days?
hey this could be a series!..like instead of Monsterquest...Virginquest!

yeah, that's the ticket....
 
 
MISSDRAGONTAT is offline MISSDRAGONTAT Post #6  May 15,2010, 5:43am
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Ok--since I couldn't "quote" onto this thread, I will copy & paste from your last thread with my comments in Red.


The problem is that I am not really religious. In fact, I would consider myself agnostic. Again, the reason I choose to remain abstinent is because of a conservative upbringing, with those core values, and also of the safety/health issue. While I am open to other religions, I do not want my spouse pushing it on me, or trying to get me to convert. However, that has not really even been an issue yet, because I haven’t eliminated anyone based on religion. In fact, I am very open to anyone in my matches in all religions and ethnicities.

So, you admit that it isn't religious strictness that keeps you from being open minded. I could understand if the reason you were looking for a virgin was due to religious reasons but that isn't the case with you.
There are just two things I absolutely do not want to compromise. One is the abstinence issue. And # 2, they have to be at least enrolled or completed a Masters program in graduate school. With myself well educated with a doctorate, and 2 Masters, I want someone who is equally educated as well. BTW, I just turned 30, and never married, so I will not consider anyone who has been married, widowed, had children, etc. That is just a deal breaker for me.


I understand that you have a J.D. and want higher education. But a Master's? There are alot of circumstances that don't allow someone to go into higher education in a rapid pace as you were able to. I'm just now getting back into the groove of finishing up my education and although I am on track for Law School entry within 1.5 years, there was alot going on in my personal and family life that didn't allow me to go straight to college after high school. No, I'm not a divorcee' or a widow BUT that also raises red flags for me as well. I could go along with the no kids thing since you don't have that particular baggage HOWEVER most people our age have already been married before. Ever heard the term "starter marriages?" Alot of those marriages comes from strict, conservative upbringing that people didn't feel as though they could explore their options in a "morally correct" way so they got married so they could get laid.

So are my standards just too high? I really don’t think so, as for the physical beauty component, I am not that picky. As long as they are average or better, is fine with me. Honestly, I do not want someone under 5 foot when I am 6’ 3”, or someone overweight. But other than that, I do not consider myself that picky on exterior beauty, and care more about their inner beauty.



You may not be picky in looks but you sure are judgemental towards a lady for not being clean as a whistle and as a nun.

Also, I am not just eliminating matches just because I think they are not virgins. Most of them get eliminated at the MUST HAVES/CAN’T STANDS section. Some of the girls just close that match after they see my requirement, and some of them think I am joking and ask if I am serious. Some of them just ignore it, and I only find out later in open communication when I confirm they have read all my MUST HAVES, and ask them what they think about my position. Then we have a candid conversation about it. Several girls would not admit they were not virgins in the open communication stage, and made it seem like there was a possibility they were, but were not comfortable talking about it online. They told me to call them, and only after I push for the answer because I tell them it would be a waste of time for the both of us as it’s a deal breaker for me, they admit they are not, but try to convince me that I am missing out on them if I don’t give them a chance.


IMHO--You say that you are agnostic but you need to start attending a religious instituion where your rigid beliefs won't be seen as a hinderance.
Last edited by MISSDRAGONTAT; May 17,2010 at 7:28pm.
 
 
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  May 15,2010, 6:09am
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I just read the last page or so of that thread, and you are right that most of the people here are pretty liberal (i'm not)

I think you will be more likely to find the person that you are looking for with younger women. I have seen numerous posts here of women that are virgins into their 20s, and while they aren't plentiful, I'm sure they are out there and that there are enough for you to select from.
 
 
MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #8  May 15,2010, 8:27am
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I read the other thread but didn't post in it.

As others have already said, I think you should state right in your profile your requirement for someone who has been saving herself for marriage and that you have done the same. That will weed out the majority of your matches that are going to be incompatible on this -- why waste time communicating with them by GC and OC to get to that point later and be disappointed. That should minimize your efforts at least with matching.

I also think you will need to make your profile as appealing as possible for the other parts of it to make sure it does not focus too much on your criteria, which might make it come across as negative or that you have issues. What I mean is one statement (like above) about your requirement for no premarital sex and any other criteria so it doesn't sound like you are focused on your check list. Maybe your profile is perfect -- I haven't seen it, so this is just a suggestion.

Perhaps you can tell us how you have presented your criteria in your profile.

Do you state that she must have a master's degree or be working toward one, or that you would like to find a woman who shares your intellect? Or instead do you say that you would like to find a woman whom you can appreciate for her intelligent mind? How you present yourself in the profile might get you closed by an intelligent virgin who fits your criteria because she's got to want to date you too. That you are a virgin is not likely to be enough for her to want to open communication.
 
 
souxieque is offline souxieque Post #9  May 15,2010, 10:43am

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MelinCali wrote :
How you present yourself in the profile might get you closed by an intelligent virgin who fits your criteria because she's got to want to date you too. That you are a virgin is not likely to be enough for her to want to open communication.
MelinCall you have really pin pointed mr. MV. possible problem with being closed here exactly.

I have not read his profile but from the other thread and other posts he has made, I don't think I would be interested in him as a possible match, even though for the most part I meet his "standards".

Like others have said, some women are virgins for religious reasons, but he isn't religious -though he says he is open...what does that mean?

Also he has like a laundry list of what the woman must be and who she is and many of these things are really over the top of reality...but it is his list so he gets to make it I guess.

So se Mr MV-we are out here but this one does not find you very attractive just from your posts...I guess you don't meet my standards either.

The only thing is, he makes it so not fun and enjoyable sounding. Like it is a exam for a hard class and not falling in love to get married and have children because you want to be together forever.

We all get to want what we want I guess-that includes Mr. MV and the other women who are closing him too. There are so many people in the age group who are single, that for me I wouldn't want someone so hung up on me having to meet all his standards then being divorced if I couldn't have children for some reason. It's all so clinical.

I'm back to just casual dating, working and finishing school-preparing for summer fun and generally enjoying the whole experience. Meeting people is fun-more fun for me since I don't have a big list of what I have to have I think.
 
 
newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #10  May 15,2010, 11:18am
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Excellent post, Souxie!!!!!
 
 
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