redtulip is offline redtulip Post #1  April 7,2010, 5:43pm
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Guys. I have a question. It takes a while before I feel comfortable having sex. I am only human and obviously love some physical intimacy while getting to know somone. I am wondering if too much foreplay could have a negative impact on a potential budding relationship? Is it better to hold off on nudity, touching, etc. etc. all together so that the focus doesnt become "getting to the sex" rather than "getting to know one another?" Once the ball starts rolling must it continue to roll? Does a little foreplay or say going 75% of the way there cause too much confusion in a mans mind? Is it better to purely focus on getting to know one another non-physically before opening that can of worms? Is it all or none? One of my guy friends said he sees it as all the same. If you are ready for part you should be ready for all? What do you think?
 
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CJLindsay is offline CJLindsay Post #2  April 7,2010, 6:06pm
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Well, speaking for myself, it's one of the determining factors to where I decide to be monogamous with that person or end it there. Things are never the same afterwords, there is no rewind. The reason the one night stands are just that?

It depends on how emotionally sensitive the guy is. The more they are the more it is all or none. Whether it is linear or logarithmic I don't know. Another way to put it, for a sensitive guy, any equals all. High sensitivity, 0.1=1 Low sensitivity 0.1=0.1, 1=1

Hope that helps.
 
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username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #3  April 7,2010, 6:15pm
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redtulip wrote :
Is it all or none?
give me liberty or give me death.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  April 7,2010, 6:15pm
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women dont have to be like men
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #5  April 7,2010, 6:20pm

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Hi RedTulip and welcome.

The thing about your questions is that different men have different feelings about this. You aren't going to know in advance what type of reaction a guy may have to the beginnings of intimacy.

Just as women differ in their opinions and feelings about sex, so do men. So I don't think any of us, not even the men, can do anything but give you their individual opinion which isn't necessarily going to be that of your date.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #6  April 8,2010, 3:04am
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It's pretty much all or none.

In our parleyance, foreplay is generally reserved to leading up to sex. Any woman who gets the balls rolling, as you eloquently described, better be ready to cross the finish line, else she will be labeled a tease.

What's this 75% you speak of? Is that anything like 75% pregnant?

And don't give me the "I never had sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky" line.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #7  April 8,2010, 3:05am
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  April 8,2010, 3:05am
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It's pretty much all or none.

In our parleyance, foreplay is generally reserved to leading up to sex. Any woman who gets the b alls rolling, as you eloquently described, better be ready to cross the finish line, else she will be labeled a tease.

What's this 75% you speak of? Is that anything like 75% pregnant?

And don't give me the "I never had sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky" line.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #9  April 8,2010, 4:00am
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tweet37 wrote :
It's pretty much all or none.
Agree. However, I will say that, for me, all or none doesn't have to mean inter*course, but it does mean I'm finishing. And, of course, I will please my partner to whatever end she desires. For the vast majority of men, 75% of the way there is so incredibly frustrating it's maddening. I'd rather have nothing beyond kissing clearly agreed upon beforehand than get worked up and have a stop sign thrown in my face.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #10  April 8,2010, 4:27am
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insertscreenname wrote :
For the vast majority of men, 75% of the way there is so incredibly frustrating it's maddening. I'd rather have nothing beyond kissing clearly agreed upon beforehand than get worked up and have a stop sign thrown in my face.
Agree with this. I think it also sends mixed signals to the guy...I don't want to have sex with you yet...but I'll do the following....."
 
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