CHICAGORANDY is offline CHICAGORANDY Post #1  May 25,2008, 3:22pm
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I wanted to give those that wrote back to me two weeks ago an "update" on my challenges from E-Harmony and if anything has changed. Real briefly speaking, since March, I have gone out on half a dozen first meet ups with zero luck with a second date. The women I have been matched up with seem to arrive with a perceived "check list" of qualification that I must meet. Two of these meet-ups after open communication never thanked me for the "date", one waited 7 days later to tell me there was no chemistry after she told me that we should make plans for a second date and finally another women who told me 45 minutes into the date that she was attracted to "salt and pepper" hair types. (How do you think that made me feel when my hair is blond?



I think there is something wrong with the match process or the way the women are approaching the first meet-up. Or expectations. I am 42 years old. Are these women so set in their ways that they arrive at the first meet-up with a perceived check list with zero tolerance for exception? And for courtesy? A simple thank you?



In a case that underscores the issues I am having with this site, last weekend, I was contacted by another member and we reached open communication and things were going pretty well. She even wrote back that it appeared I was "put under the ringer" by other matches and that she would take it easy on me. 3 days later, she closed all communication with "other" as to an explanation. I didn't say anything to set off alarms. She just closed me out. Period.



I think there are a lot of confused women out there. I think they state they want a relationship but either they are afraid or have such strict requirements that they set the guy up for failure.



Why go through E-Harmony if you want to play games? Why tell your date something you know is simply not true?



Oddly enough, I tried another web site for dating. Only this one was really a "meet up" web site for singles in the area. I met 2 individuals that want to go out on a date with me. What took days if not weeks to obtain a simple first "meet up" after open communication on E-Harmony took only one night on an alternative site.

I am not here to bash E-Harmony. But what I am saying is that my past 3 months on this site with the women that I have asked for open communication, has taught me that there are a lot of confused women out there.




 
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pocket_full_of_sunshine is offline pocket_full_of_sunshine Post #2  May 25,2008, 4:12pm
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There are equally as many confused men as there are women.
 
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flocondeneige is offline flocondeneige Post #3  May 25,2008, 4:50pm
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Women don't hold the monopoly on confusion...I've met and heard of just as many confused men. It seems to me your post borders on being insultingly sexist. If you approach your relationships that way, its no surprise you have bad luck. Still, even if you are the nicest, most respectful, caring and wonderful person, you are going to most likely date many women before finding the right one. That is life! Some of these women you'll be glad to be rid of, some will be glad to be rid of you and others will be really great but just not "the one." Dating is challenging and we get hurt sometimes, but there is no reason to stereotype all women because of your limited experiences with a few. There are most assuredly rude and un-caring people on EH, just as there are anywhere. Your chances of finding them here are about as great as finding them elsewhere.
 
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CHICAGORANDY is offline CHICAGORANDY Post #4  May 25,2008, 5:09pm
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pocket_full_of_sunshine,122539 wrote :
There are equally as many confused men as there are women.
Perhaps but I can only talk in relative terms to my own experience. I would NEVER tell someone 1/2 through the date there is no chemistry or that I am attracted to someone completely opposite. And I would NEVER tell someone a lie that I would go out with them again when I knew the opposite.



But that is just me.
 
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CHICAGORANDY is offline CHICAGORANDY Post #5  May 25,2008, 5:15pm
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flocondeneige,122562 wrote :

Women don't hold the monopoly on confusion...I've met and heard of just as many confused men. It seems to me your post borders on being insultingly sexist. If you approach your relationships that way, its no surprise you have bad luck. Still, even if you are the nicest, most respectful, caring and wonderful person, you are going to most likely date many women before finding the right one. That is life! Some of these women you'll be glad to be rid of, some will be glad to be rid of you and others will be really great but just not "the one." Dating is challenging and we get hurt sometimes, but there is no reason to stereotype all women because of your limited experiences with a few. There are most assuredly rude and un-caring people on EH, just as there are anywhere. Your chances of finding them here are about as great as finding them elsewhere.
But I don't think I would intentionally state something that was untrue. And to be honest with you...something that lacked tact.
 
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