Players (men playing games with ladies)


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chrysalis08 is offline chrysalis08 Post #11  March 28,2010, 9:04am
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All good reasons to take yourself out of the game if you're particularly vulnerable, as in having just suffered a loss be it death or divorce. The "feel good" rush that can catch you off guard when you're hit by a player's tornadoe can be really dangerous to your self-esteem - when they do the hot /cold thing later.

Another thing too - you can look a player in the eye, while he/she professes how you are above all others, and ask him/her if what you have together is real and meaningful - and they will look you back straight in the eye and lie to you that it is. They have mastered the art of manipulation - nothing they say should be believed because the motives are always self-serving and narcissistic.

I was involved with a man for 11 years who I firmly believe now was actually a sociopath - in that what I found about him afterward was a carefully orchestrated web of lies that covered an entire existence with multiple women that I had no knowledge of whatsoever. And I was not stupid about turning a blind eye to red flags. He was literally that good. Nothing in our shared world was closed to me, every electronic communication, hobby, interest, friendships were jointly shared - totally by choice and shared compatibility. I trusted him explicitly with my life. He had the capacity to compartmentalize areas of his life so completely, I spent six months after it ended in a state of denial and shock that two so very different people could exist in one body. And he had NO remorse when the truth came out. No conscience and no guilt - not one flicker of it. He had learned to fiegn a compassionate caring personna because it was the socially acceptable thing to do in life. But deep down, at the end of the day, there was hard cold lack of empathy or conscience.

Firm boundaries, like LBMM said, are the only resistance you have to getting hurt by a player - firm enough to walk away without looking back when the games start.

Lessons learned the hard way so off my soapbox now......
 
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