Dasil is offline Dasil Post #1  February 28,2010, 2:28am
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Hi again,

For those of you who didn't read my last post, there's a girl in one of my classes that I'm interested in and hoping to get to know better and start a relationship with. Up until now, I've been too shy to talk to her much, but I think I will be able to overcome this.

Assuming I do get over my shyness, what are some good ideas for things to do on the first date? I've heard that movies are bad (not much face-to-face time), and dinners are usually bad as well (could be too stressful with more pressure).

What would be something that would give us a chance to get to know each other better, while not being too "heavy or intimidating" for her (as someone from my last post put it)?

Thanks
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  February 28,2010, 5:55am
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I know lots of people here dont like em but I adore coffee dates. To you have a *nice* Starbucks near you? The only think about that is that you have to secure seating (the comfy seating) or it wont be as nice.

I like them because there are enough distractions yet they arent so noisy that you cant talk to each other.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  February 28,2010, 7:51am
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Personally, I strongly favor dinner.

I go on the meeting to check her appearance and have conversation. The first objective can be accomplished in any manner (and in your case is moot), while the second requires for me the ability to look her in the eye.

I am able to have several-hour conversations with ease, and checking that a partner can too is one of my screens.

Coffee, for me, is much too short, and I don't like to drink alcohol without also food.

For me, if I have to raise my voice to be heard, the venue is unacceptable for a meeting.
 
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softwhisper is offline softwhisper Post #4  February 28,2010, 9:17am
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Since the OP is a bit shy, I think dinner may be too much for a first date. I like coffee dates because it is fairly casual and easy to make a get away if things are not going well. Other suggestions would be going to the zoo – the animals (good, bad & ugly) are great for conversation.
I love bookstores, it would give you a chance to discuss favourite authors & books. I also love museums as a first date, it gets you walking (blood pumping is good for confidence) and like the zoo, the exhibits give you stuff to talk about.

Good luck
 
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slaw is offline slaw Post #5  March 1,2010, 4:47pm
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I prefer drinks on a mid-week night. You can keep it relatively short if it is awful or you can extend into a bite to eat if it is going well. Coffee is too short and dinner can be way too long.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  March 2,2010, 10:38am
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slaw wrote :
I prefer drinks on a mid-week night. You can keep it relatively short if it is awful or you can extend into a bite to eat if it is going well. Coffee is too short and dinner can be way too long.
How is having coffee shorter than having drinks? You can spend hours in a coffee shop if you want.

Actually you could sit and drink coffee a lot longer than alcohol since coffee doesn't get you drunk.

I'm careful with using the word "drinks" since some women have jumped to the conclusion that I meant alcohol and intended to get them drunk... when to me "drink" meant coffee, soda, tea, or whatever she wanted to have, and the point was just to get together.

So this is why I now say "coffee", and if someone says she doesn't drink coffee, I say I don't either, but we can order something else.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #7  March 2,2010, 10:40am
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softwhisper wrote :
I love bookstores, it would give you a chance to discuss favourite authors & books. I also love museums as a first date, it gets you walking (blood pumping is good for confidence) and like the zoo, the exhibits give you stuff to talk about.
A bookstore with a coffee shop is great- have your drink, and if you're so inclined, browse the books afterward.
 
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Nico3 is offline Nico3 Post #8  March 3,2010, 8:24pm
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I'm surprised no one has mentioned this, but have you asked her what she likes to do? Get that information in mind and ask her out. Let her try and decide what she wants to do, but if she can't come up with anything, then do what YOU want to do.

I always give women first shot at what they want to do. If they say "I'm fine with anything." then I take that meaning exactly what they said, and then we go do what I want, as long as she hasn't spoken on something she doesn't like, then I obviously don't do that.

Make a decision if she can't. Nothing worse than sitting around for 30 minutes trying to think of something to do when you could be doing something.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #9  March 4,2010, 9:05am
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Nico3 wrote :
I'm surprised no one has mentioned this, but have you asked her what she likes to do? Get that information in mind and ask her out. Let her try and decide what she wants to do, but if she can't come up with anything, then do what YOU want to do.

I always give women first shot at what they want to do. If they say "I'm fine with anything." then I take that meaning exactly what they said, and then we go do what I want, as long as she hasn't spoken on something she doesn't like, then I obviously don't do that.
That sounds logical, but we're talking about women here, so it's not the best way to go.

Many women prefer the man to plan the date, especially a first date. Asking her where she wants to go, polite as that seems, comes across as weak and wishy washy.

Ask her what she likes to do- yes, but not while you are inviting her on a date.
 
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Nico3 is offline Nico3 Post #10  March 4,2010, 10:17am
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mrflyer wrote :
That sounds logical, but we're talking about women here, so it's not the best way to go.

Many women prefer the man to plan the date, especially a first date. Asking her where she wants to go, polite as that seems, comes across as weak and wishy washy.

Ask her what she likes to do- yes, but not while you are inviting her on a date.
Depends on the person. The OP is asking for some laid out template on dating and there isn't one. What one woman will see as wishy washy and weak, the other will see as practical.

Some women love dinners, some women do not like them on a first date. Some women expect you to pick them up from home, others would be insulted you asked where they lived that soon.

There's no laid out formula. The only wrong thing would be to be rude. Asking her what her interests are is far from rude. If simply asking turns the whole thing around, then you're going to be in for an extremely rough ride in a relationship, pal. I personally like someone who doesn't get upset at the drop of a hat.
 
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