Going MIA after dating a few months?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Princess212 is offline Princess212 Post #1  December 23,2007, 12:19pm
Princess212's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 1

See profile

I've been dating a guy for the last couple of months. We live in different states and thus made plans to meet next month. We connect via email or phone approximated every other day and I would say our communication has been open, consistent, and fun. We make each other laugh and we talk about a lot of different topics and have been sharing personal stories throughout this time.

All of a sudden out of nowhere this guy drops off the map. I had sent him 2 emails (in response to his) and then did not hear from him in over a week (which is odd since we usually connect quite frequently). But I thought perhaps he's just busy. So I waited a week then sent him an email to say hello and see if everything was cool. No response. I called but no return call.

I don't think I'm going to hear from him again so will not email or call again. But what is up with this? This is not the first time this has happened to me so I am starting to wonder if I am doing something to chase men away but if so I can't figure out what it is. Do guys just do this sometimes?

If he met someone else or lost interest for some other reason is it common for a guy to just disappear with no explanation?



 
  Reply With Quote
planesntrains is offline planesntrains Post #2  December 24,2007, 7:32am
planesntrains's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 3

See profile

To answer you last question, 'is it common for a guy to just disappear with no explanation?' I would have to say in r.e.a.l. life, no, it isn't common. In the land of the internet, yes, it is all too common. My belief is that people can easily hide behind the screen, say what they feel or what they don't feel, depending on the person and then just as easily appear or disappear. There is no true commitment to stay in touch for some. It almost seems as if there are two lives led, one on the internet and then the real day to day life and if you meet a person who is truly who they say they are, the chances are better that they are able to merge the two. If you don't, then well, it seems like they just disappear when something comes up, for whatever reason that takes their interest away. I wouldn't spend any more time worrying about it, be glad that you found out now, without giving any more of your time and emotions. Weed out the ones that don't have the staying power.. and good luck to you. There will be someone who treats you well and appreciates you!
 
  Reply With Quote
Msmed is offline Msmed Post #3  December 25,2007, 10:18am
Msmed's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 6

See profile

Wow! This sounds way too familiar. I,too, was involved with someone for about 2 months. We live about an hour apart, but had been seeing each other once a week and e-mailing in between. It wasn't perfect, but I did enjoy his company and thought we had a lot of chemistry. We actually made plans for another date (it would have been our 9th, I think). I texted him twice over a period of 3 days, then called him after that. He didn't respond (and the day of our date came and went) and I called him one more time about a week later - I, too, left him a message saying if I didn't hear from him, I wouldn't be calling again. No response! Its like he disappeared. Honestly, I feel like I dodged a bullet. He actually asked me while we were dating if I trusted him . . .in an effort to be honest, I said "not completely" . . .turns out I was right! Anyone can just disappear if they want to, the question is (and I think you're asking it to) is how to know when the guy you're with is the kind who may just fall off the face of the earth one day! If you figure it out, let me know.
 
  Reply With Quote
gracie07 is offline gracie07 Post #4  December 25,2007, 3:35pm
gracie07's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

alexandria va

Posts: 5

See profile

It's happened to me too. I've been seeing someone for longer then a couple of weeks or couple of months, but we talked everyday over the phone and saw each other every friday night and every weekend. We'll this friday i called him, and never got a response. Sat and Sun. i called him and no response. I went by his place and saw his car there, but he has a work vehicle that wasn't there. He told me he wasn't going anywhere for thw holidays but the fact that i haven't seen or heard from him gives me a very uncomfortable feeling. I've been a basket case all weekend and it has actually ruined my holiday b/c i too do not trust him completely and I even told him that i do not trust people ever since i had my heart broken a few years ago by the same guy. This was our second try at the relationship and even though we had the same views on marriage and kids and he knew how badly i was hurt before, I thought this time would be different, but i'm beginning to feel like i did before. I think its disrespectful for anyone to treat someone they are in a realationship with this way no matter how long you've been together. My friends tell me to just keep my head up and that i deserve better then him. I don't think men will ever be figured out the same way they will never figure women out. He'll realize what he did and what he's missing and may very well turn up out of no where a few months from now. Stay strong!!
 
  Reply With Quote
swish is offline swish Post #5  December 28,2007, 10:13am
swish's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 9

See profile

I believe this website is a way for men to hide and pick certain kinds of women to try to play with. I myself was with a man for 3 months(not from this website) and came home from work and he just disappeared. He called 2 months later, big deal. The problem was we had been friends for a little over 2 years and all of that was ruined. I guess you never know what people are capable of until you are involved with them on an intimate level. I say consider yourself lucky and move on, if he disappeared once odds are he will do it again, don't give him another opportunity to do it twice.This website has been nothing but disappearing acts from at least 10 different men, these are the one's looking to play games and when you feel them out with different questions or ask them a blunt question they are usually gone pretty quickly.Good Luck!!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
ausker is offline ausker Post #6  December 28,2007, 1:25pm
ausker's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2007

Calgary

Posts: 2

See profile

Thanks. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I have been in communication with someone since the summer and although there have been lulls in the past few months, we've been emailing pretty regularly. I thought there was a real connection (as real as you can get via the internet). He said he wanted to meet and now it's been over a month since I've heard anything from him. I know he's a busy guy, but come on.
 
  Reply With Quote
nancy53150 is offline nancy53150 Post #7  January 23,2008, 12:14pm
nancy53150's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2008

muskego, wi

Posts: 27

See profile

Msmed - After reading your story, I had to look to make sure it wasn't one that I had written ! I had exactly the same experience. Almost to the number of dates. We also lived one hour apart and saw each other once a week. how wierd. Not that it makes any of us feel any better, but it sure sounds like we're experiencing the same pain.
 
  Reply With Quote
cp30 is offline cp30 Post #8  January 23,2008, 1:49pm

has only threatened to give up

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2007

Up in the NW corner somewhere, but not quite Canada :)

Posts: 7,750

See profile

I've noticed a lot of men will complain that a woman drops of the face of the earth after a few emails in the beginning of comunication -- the big difference seems to be that men drop off the earth after a relationship has developed. This is soooo wrong, what did their mother's teach them!? You do not treat people that way! It is one thing to disappear after a few e mails (though its still not polite or even really okay) it is another to just disappear after months or after meeting in person and dating for awhile. Shame on those men! This behavior is not okay and I think men today need to realize why it is so hard to find a women with no baggage....it is a reailty that it is VERY hard to trust people! I feel bad for you ladies, this has not happened to me in a really long time, I've only been the victim latley of the kind that disappears after e mails....and that is bad enough! Think of all the energy and time you put into talking, sharing, even describing what you do for a living -- it takes effort and energy, and then every time you meet someone new you think "do I really want to go through this again? I'm getting tired of telling every tom, dick and harry what I do for a living, where I went to school, about my family, where I live...etc, etc. etc." Its exhausting and I dont even date that much. Its one way to make a girl completley apatathetic and uniteresting...who wants to keep getting to know someone only to have to start over again? yet we do......there is no way to know for sure who you are dealing with. The only thing that seems to help me is to be VERY picky, very very picky about who I talk to from the start. If he doesn't do it for you to begin with...don't even bother. At least I have more time to spend on myself and my own activities.
 
  Reply With Quote
Injurednotbroken is offline Injurednotbroken Post #9  January 23,2008, 2:00pm
Injurednotbro…'s Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2008

Washington state

Posts: 139

See profile

He chose not to meet you for some reason. He should have told you but did not choose to for some reason. How do you feel? There is not closure. You need to somehow close the relationship. To say good bye. Write a letter but do not send. Role play with a friend so that you can end the relationship the way that you would chose to end the relationship if he had done what he should have done for you. Somewhat like the movie "you've got mail" except not with the same ending. You have silence. Silence punishes. There is no way to not feel pain.
 
  Reply With Quote
nancy53150 is offline nancy53150 Post #10  January 23,2008, 2:30pm
nancy53150's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2008

muskego, wi

Posts: 27

See profile

I have two men I've met on EH right now that want to meet. And after the experiences I've had I'm not sure I want to go through the effort again. (though I know I will) The first meeting is always just a little awkward. And I'm finding men don't ask a lot of questions. One of the men who wants to meet hasn't asked about work, family, children, actually nothing. I think all this info would make a big difference in connecting with someone. Maybe some just don't care, they just want a "date"? I don't know. These are 50 year old men, not kids, as cp30 said, this is soooo wrong.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Am i fooling myself not to get out of this mess? | Ask a Dating Expert | How do women feel about pre - Marriage Contracts? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Does he date women his own age? Who pays? If he still hasn't called by tonight, should you call him? I can understand his read. It doesn't sound like you'll lose any sleep over Bill if you never ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“JNS - the way I handle these sparse/photoless profiles is to Archive them. If there is no photo, you can send a photo nudge. Also, keep an eye on the updates section on your home page. There it will ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Sparse profiles.” discussion

“ Thank you for your feedback, Sweetnectar. I've actually stopped the smoking thing because I'm not even sure why I do it when drinking. But I've also stopped receiving matches for now! No other ... ” –  Scott_in_LA

Join the “Profile and Pics Review, Please (M/38)” discussion

“List red flags for men Moderators are watching Get back on topic” –  harnomygirl

Join the “RED flags for men” discussion

“Here's the ad. Want your hair blown back? Trojan Vibrations Commercial Neighbors - YouTube You poor thing! Were you bad? Tweet ... This is the one, though now you did make me have to watch all ... ” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“That's the whole point of me posting here instead of saying all this to him. Because I KNOW it's too much. So that's what I'm saying - I am backing off. I'm not pressing. I put the ball in his court ... ” –  Holiday_HH

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:01pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0