askaway2 is offline askaway2 Post #1  November 21,2009, 7:29am
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Hi my name is Jeff and I just got out of a relationship with a woman that I thought would last forever but I was wrong. You see we both claimed our love for each other constantly but we lived an hour and a 1/2 apart so we did not see each other weekly. She was also a very busy person she went to school 4 days a week and worked plus she has 3 kids on top of this so she had her hands full. I was willing to look past all this to be in this woman's life but she convinced herself I would never be happy waiting for her and she ended it. Now I do not know what to do I am so tired of getting hurt I just put into a relationship and get dumped in the end I am so tired of it I just want a loving relationship that will last.

Thank you
Jeff
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #2  November 21,2009, 7:44am
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Take some time and process what happened to you here and why it happened. You need to recover from this before you start dating again.

See what you can learn from this and that may help you adjust your expectations or emotional level the next time. Emotions can be trouble when they are out ahead of where a relationship may be.

Good luck.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #3  November 21,2009, 7:51am
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askaway2 wrote :
She was also a very busy person she went to school 4 days a week and worked plus she has 3 kids on top of this so she had her hands full. I was willing to look past all this to be in this woman's life.
Jeff
Gee it was big of you to look past her kids and her need to go to school.
 
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askaway2 is offline askaway2 Post #4  November 21,2009, 8:31am
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I did not want sound like I was doing her a favor by looking past her going to school and her kids I just was willing to do anything for this woman and her kids and I got along great also I am sorry if I came off as but supportive and loving.

Jeff
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #5  November 21,2009, 8:48am
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askaway2 wrote :
I did not want sound like I was doing her a favor by looking past her going to school and her kids I just was willing to do anything for this woman and her kids and I got along great also I am sorry if I came off as but supportive and loving.

Jeff
I did not mean to be flip, Jeff. But think about this, if your attitude was that you're looking past the kids and the schooling, you saw it as an obstacle. You apparently clearly communicated this to the woman, or she would not have "convinced herself" that you won't be happy waiting for her.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  November 21,2009, 10:26am
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This sounds to me like you made far too much unrequited interest in her.

It is a big mistake to give to a dating more than that person is giving in return. It sounds to me like she had no respect for you.

In any case, you'll get over her soon enough and find others.
 
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scandalous is offline scandalous Post #7  November 21,2009, 11:08am
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Perhaps you had expectations about her and the relationship that she felt she could not live up to, so she believed it was in both your best interests to end it. If it is meant to be, it will be. Not to give you false hopes, but after things calm down, you both can re-evaluate and maybe try again. Love is patient, and knows no bounds. I am in the military, so think of all the couples who are apart because of deployments. It is not in their control to be away from each other, but they endure it because they love each other enough and because they have to accept their circumstances.

I am also busy, go to school, work, and live 1-1/2 to 2 hours from the man that I am seeing. We make efforts to stay connected. We aren't able to see each other as frequently, but it makes the time that we do have together very precious.

When one tries too hard to convince, the other naturally resists. What works best, imo, is when you simply enjoy the time you spend together, cherish it, and appreciate it. Worrying too hard about the outcome kills the present moment.

Hopefully things work out for you, with this girl if you really love her, or with another who might be better suited for you. IMO, "looking past" things sounds a little like settling...as though something is better than nothing. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Just be sure of what you want and go for it.
 
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View is offline View Post #8  November 21,2009, 11:44am
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You answered your own question. You said it in youor thread. She's in school, she has 3 children and she works, she deffiently has her hands full. She's trying to better herself for her children she sounds like quite a woman.

I was there once in my life, alone with a child and wanted to better myself and go back to school, so I did. It was a hard road and I finally got a better life for myself. I did not try to have a relationship though. I think she just got to much on her plate and relizede she couldn't give her all to you and I think she was being very fair to you and your relationship to let you go.

You have to give and take when someone else is involved. I think if you examine what your road is, you can find someone that will give you as much as you are giving them.

Good luck!!!!!!!!! Everyone's road is different

askaway2 wrote :
Hi my name is Jeff and I just got out of a relationship with a woman that I thought would last forever but I was wrong. You see we both claimed our love for each other constantly but we lived an hour and a 1/2 apart so we did not see each other weekly. She was also a very busy person she went to school 4 days a week and worked plus she has 3 kids on top of this so she had her hands full. I was willing to look past all this to be in this woman's life but she convinced herself I would never be happy waiting for her and she ended it. Now I do not know what to do I am so tired of getting hurt I just put into a relationship and get dumped in the end I am so tired of it I just want a loving relationship that will last.

Thank you
Jeff
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #9  November 21,2009, 1:20pm
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Yeah, I think I agree with the talk about too much on the plate right now. She might have thought she could handle a relationship, plus school , plus kids and all, but sounds like she changed her mind. Take heart, everything is a process. If you need to, take some time off, and then get back in there, when the time is right.

Take care.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #10  November 21,2009, 1:56pm
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D_Lion wrote :
This sounds to me like you made far too much unrequited interest in her.

It is a big mistake to give to a dating more than that person is giving in return. It sounds to me like she had no respect for you.

In any case, you'll get over her soon enough and find others.
That's the 3rd time today D_Lion has beat me to the punch of what I was going to say ...

I'm reporting you as a reverse stalker, D. =P
 
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