Jimbo730 is offline Jimbo730 Post #1  November 20,2009, 3:49pm
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It is not that I'm not interested or anything many it is I'm a bit afraid and don't know how really to go at it.

I've liked girls and told them but they did not care and they don't like at all in anyway only as someone to talk to if nobody else is around.

My main problem is I stare and and I think I mainly do this is because I don't know what to say and mainly I just can't help I'm dumb.

Girls don't bother with me probbly because they all think I'm creepy and just don't like me.

A couple of weeks ago this girl at my college in my english I thought we were sort of conecting mainly cause we both hate the teacher and she asked me questions cause I got a higher garde on papers even thou I only got an 80 something but I sat sideways and could not help but look now and again the teacher would say something dumb and we sort of made the facial expression like this is so stupid.

Then about a week or two ago she finally fliped out and said stop strarinng and I did and she mored seats only for that day.

Another funny thing about this was she started talking to me because she thouthgt I was smart and I thought she was beautiful but in this time I was smart I walked her to her next class cause we went to the same building and the same class but on different sides cause her's used the coputer abit.

I liked her mainly cause she's hot and she help me with a math paper.

Then I found out she had a boyfriend cause she would be all panicy and leave class early and I saw her at the top of stairs with him.

But I still thought she was a nice person complamented her a few times and it worked and now she avoids me now and we haven't said a word sence.

That is defently my problem staring>
 
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kneo24 is offline kneo24 Post #2  November 21,2009, 4:49am
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You keep using words like "cause" instead of "because" and words like "girls" instead of "females" or "women". You're an adult now. Start thinking about the opposite sex in terms of more mature words. Your grammar also shows a lack of proof reading. Hopefully when you do talk, instead of stare, you don't talk like that in real life! My point here is to improve yourself.

If a women shows interest in you and you have time to talk, ask questions if you don't know of anything to actually say. Get to know her. You need to force yourself to stop being shy. It won't just go away over night. Hide that side of yourself. Be open, be willing to share, be willing to communicate.

Go up to this woman and say, "I'm sorry for staring so much. I'm very shy and I often don't know what to say. I understand if you would rather not talk to me anymore." or something to that effect. And be confident while doing it. Women find confidence to be sexy.

This one sentence here shows your lack of maturity:
wrote :
I liked her mainly cause she's hot and she help me with a math paper.
So you have no other reason to like her? She didn't show anything else about her personality that interested you? While there will be people who say that "you're still young and it's ok to think that way", I don't really think it is. Life is not about how many people you've been with. If we base our lives on the quantity of the people we've been with instead of the quality of the people we've been with, it says nothing but bad things about ourselves.
 
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indigirl1975 is offline indigirl1975 Post #3  November 21,2009, 8:08am
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Maybe you could ease into dating by working on your confidence and social skills. I think meetup groups are great for this. Volunteering is also a good way to interact. You might just meet someone you like and can get to know without the pressure.
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  November 21,2009, 8:41am
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I would find a man staring at me as you describe to be very unsettling. You know you do it, so stop it. It's a controllable behavior, not something you can't help doing. I remember doing that to a guy I felt interested in when I was in high school ... for me it was because I couldn't think of anything to say, like I froze. It's understandable, but you have to imagine what it's like for the other person ... scary! This is something you can grow out of.

Meanwhile ... get into situations where you can interact with women in a less pressured way, so you can start to feel more comfortable with that. Clubs, volunteer work, etc. Try to go and just have a goal of talking, not finding a girlfriend, so you can get used to what that's like.

Women are not aliens, or some other species ... they're just people. They have thoughts, and feelings, just like you do. Try exploring that! Good luck!
 
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