WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO TELL THEM I HAVE A HEALTH ISSUE?


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packinit is offline packinit Post #1  November 19,2009, 9:40pm
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I have kidney failure but other than being on maintenance dialysis times a week I'm healthy, fit and planning on a transplant in six months. I know from experience that waiting to go after what is most important in life is not an option - so if I'm in the dating game when is the appropriate time to talk about health issues?
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #2  November 20,2009, 3:42pm
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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Wow ...well, as a potential suitor, I guess I'd want to know this kind of thing pretty early on, maybe even disclose it in your profile with a positive spin.

It's sad that someone would use that as a dealbreaker to dating you, but it's probably going to happen - more than you'd expect - because people hear "medical problems" and they see "drama". It's best not to waste your time with those people and get it out early on - again, with a positive spin.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #3  November 20,2009, 3:48pm
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packinit wrote :
planning on a transplant in six months ... if I'm in the dating game
I'm not sure you have your priorities straight.
 
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Shelby is offline Shelby Post #4  November 20,2009, 5:41pm
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said what she meant; meant what she said.

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If I were a potential match, I'd want to know early on. At a minimum, it could affect your availability for various dating activities. It would also be a factor for me to determine how the relationship could progress, and affect my expectations for potential ramifications and events.

If I was the one awaiting a kidney transplant I would probably hold off proactively seeking a relationship. For one, there could be an available kidney sooner than six months, a good thing, but it could affect the dynamics of a new relationship. Also, the post-operative healing and medication regimen could involve complications and other side effects that need to be managed. While it would be comforting to have some one there for support, I wouldn't want to build resentment or create a test of that person's affection and care for me during this potentially difficult time.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  November 20,2009, 6:23pm
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In my view, any perceived liability is disclosed when it is germane to the activity planned.

I think medical issues can be omitted in your profile.
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #6  November 20,2009, 6:49pm
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If you are dating casually, no need to share IMHO. Just meeting people and all of that. If something started heading down the potentially serious road, then you really should look at sharing then.

I really don't think that belongs in your profile, and no reason for you not to go out and have fun.

JMHO

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sadears is offline sadears Post #7  November 21,2009, 8:56pm
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D_Lion,
You said something similar on my question about health. What's he supposed to do, mention it when he can't accept an invitation, "No, sorry, can't go. Have to go for dialysis"? Like my issue, it's not something that's going away, even after transplant.

Don't know if it needs to be said in the "about me" stuff, but in the communication phase. Health issues are deal breakers. No sense in wasting anyone's time if she can't/won't handle something like that.
 
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