TKCerbs is offline TKCerbs Post #1  November 19,2009, 8:39pm
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I started seeing a new girl a few weeks ago, we were both a couple weeks out of long term relationships (mine was almost 3 years, hers a year and a half). We have known each other for almost 7 years, but we've never really been friends or dated, just polite acquaintances. We went for coffee, then went out the next night. I asked her out, and she didn't say yes or no, but dodged. At that point I never expected to hear from her again, but I did.

We're now exactly 3 weeks later from that first "date", we've been out to dinner, drinking, spent time at her place, made dinner, done a lot of things. She calls to hang out almost every single day (We've spent time together 6 of the last 7 days, sometimes just meet for dinner), or just calls to chit chat. I've made my intentions towards her clear, we've talked about it a couple of times since I asked her out, and shes stated that when I asked her out the first time, the timing was off (fair enough, too soon out of a relationship), and that shes not looking right now.

She doesn't talk about other guys around me much, other than when she gets asked out, or that she is into "darker" guys, and unfortunately I'm caucasian.

Why would someone want to spend so much time with you if they're not interested? I'm going to start getting sick of her before she does of me and I'm the one who wants to get in her pants!
Last edited by TKCerbs; November 19,2009 at 8:43pm.
 
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ami1uwant is online now ami1uwant Post #2  November 19,2009, 8:49pm
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It may be just a friend to her....I am not sure given the info. Has there been any romantic relate stuff other than hanging out? She may not be ready for a relationship yet but likes you.

the comment she made about darker guys may have been an observation on her part where she isnt sure because you arent her normal guy she looks at.
 
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suzyque is offline suzyque Post #3  November 19,2009, 9:05pm
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I'm a very busy person so I wouldn't hang out that much with someone unless I liked him. So my guess is, yes she likes you more than a friend and obviously, enjoys spending time with you. She may be deciding whether she wants to take it further with you. I'd back off a bit. Try and not get together so much and see how she handles your sudden "business".
 
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ivoryrose is offline ivoryrose Post #4  November 19,2009, 9:25pm
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I'm guessing that she likes all of the attention she's getting from you but doesn't have the same feelings, so she's not able to reciprocate. It's hard to say enough is enough when you like her but, on the other hand, I would want that attention given back to me. Good luck.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #5  November 19,2009, 9:34pm

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TKCerbs wrote :
I started seeing a new girl a few weeks ago, we were both a couple weeks out of long term relationships (mine was almost 3 years, hers a year and a half). We have known each other for almost 7 years, but we've never really been friends or dated, just polite acquaintances. We went for coffee, then went out the next night. I asked her out, and she didn't say yes or no, but dodged. At that point I never expected to hear from her again, but I did.

We're now exactly 3 weeks later from that first "date", we've been out to dinner, drinking, spent time at her place, made dinner, done a lot of things. She calls to hang out almost every single day (We've spent time together 6 of the last 7 days, sometimes just meet for dinner), or just calls to chit chat. I've made my intentions towards her clear, we've talked about it a couple of times since I asked her out, and shes stated that when I asked her out the first time, the timing was off (fair enough, too soon out of a relationship), and that shes not looking right now.

She doesn't talk about other guys around me much, other than when she gets asked out, or that she is into "darker" guys, and unfortunately I'm caucasian.

Why would someone want to spend so much time with you if they're not interested? I'm going to start getting sick of her before she does of me and I'm the one who wants to get in her pants!
Never heard the word 'unfortunately' and "I'm caucasian" in the same sentence! There's always a first! LOL

I think she's using you as an option until...uhm...Knight in dark(er) armor takes her away!
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #6  November 20,2009, 3:32pm
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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TKCerbs wrote :
Why would someone want to spend so much time with you if they're not interested?
Because she's using you for attention and an ego boost ...

TKCerbs wrote :
I'm going to start getting sick of her before she does of me and I'm the one who wants to get in her pants!
...just like you are apparently wanting to use her for a quick 'benefit'.

This is the pot wondering what the kettle is up to? lol

The only person getting (or ever will get) any 'benefit' from your 'relationship' is her ...how does that make you feel, playa?
 
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peppermint21 is offline peppermint21 Post #7  November 28,2009, 4:41pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
Because she's using you for attention and an ego boost ...

...just like you are apparently wanting to use her for a quick 'benefit'.

This is the pot wondering what the kettle is up to? lol

The only person getting (or ever will get) any 'benefit' from your 'relationship' is her ...how does that make you feel, playa?
I agree with BikerBeagle. You get into habits in a relationship and when a person's gone, it's easy to find someone to use to keep those habits going even if you don't have an emotional connection.

From experience (WAY too much experience), I can tell you that playing the half-boyfriend/girlfriend is a horrible idea. At the best you're wasting time you could be using to find someone who's interested in you as a whole. At worst you'll end up circling back and forth with a person that enjoys your company but doesn't want to actually date you, but won't let you go, but won't commit, but will keep trying to spend time with you...you get the idea.

And what's up with the "unfortunately I'm Caucasian" thing? If she's not into White guys, that's her deal and no-one's misfortune. I'm a Black female who has a thing for Asian guys and precious few of them would consider dating a Black woman, but there is no "unfortunately".
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #8  November 28,2009, 7:56pm
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Why waste your time on a girl you're not really interested in? You could be spending your time with someone worthwhile instead of complicating your life with someone you don't even care about.
 
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