I agree with this. Don't knock on the door again. You've made the first move, now she needs breathing space to think about it. Wait until you pass again or she contacts you.
Meanwhile, start talking to other women.

Good luck.

I understand what you are going through. I have the shyness when approaching women out of the blue like you did. You made your effort and if she doesnt want to go out with you then that is her loss.

You need to move on and not wait for her and its up to her to make the next move. If she doesnt know where you live then that may be a problem.

Dear ThreeShadesOfConfused,

Welcome to eHarmony Advice (eHA) and thanks for posting.

Congratulations on working to overcome your shyness. You will find that when you focus on the other person and not on yourself, that will help tremendously. People aren't focusing on us anywhere near as much as we think they are. Most people are generally consumed with their own lives and focusing on their things and not giving us anywhere near the thought we might think!

Well, you've certainly learned a lot from this. If you knock on someone's door again who has roommates and a roommate answer, you might say something like this, "Is _______ here? I'd like to have a brief private moment of her time."

If the person doesn't get the hint and stands behind the person after she comes to the door, say, as you look directly at the person standing behind, "Please give us a moment . . . , " and then wait for the person to leave before speaking.

Your question probably caught the girl by surprise and she just didn't know what to say, especially with the other person standing there listening.

In the future with whomever, while you're doing one of those infrequent passerbys with the person, as you leave you might want to casually say in an off-the-cuff fashion, "Fun talking with you. Let's see if we can get together over lunch sometime if that suits you," as you're walking off. That way, she'll be thinking about it in advance possibly.

I know you were thrown off by her answer of, "I don't know;" however, other responses on your part could have been, "I'd appreciate your consideration and will check back with you in a few days," or, pulling out of piece of paper and pen, say, "Is it OK if we exchange phone numbers? That way you can think about it and I'll call you in the next two days. Here's my number and you can write your's here if you'd like. I was thinking of something casual like that deli shop down the road."

Here, you're being low-key and non-threatening and keeping in close to home.

Another thing you can do is mail her a brief note to this effect, "Hey ________,

Wanted to follow up on the lunch invitation. How does either (and name two different days that you think she might be available) sound around 11:00 AM at that place ____________ just down the road?"

Here's my email or phone if you could let me know by this (give a date about two days away). Looking forward to hearing from you."

Then, wait and see what happens. If you know the phone number of the place she is, then you could include in the note that you'll call her at such and such a time if that's convenient to her.

After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Again, good for you on working to overcome your shyness.

Write and let us know how it goes!

JavaJava5