bikinglady is offline bikinglady Post #1  November 17,2009, 5:49pm
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I've been dating this guy for the last three months and finally he send me flowers and says he loves me. Then we decided to be exclusive and he will cancel his EH account (obviously i didn't). We spend almost every weekend and we had so much fun. He always initiate to text me everyday and see how am i doing. We can't wait to see each other again. But since then he never mentioned the word love again. I want to say it to him once in a while but i just don't feel comfortable saying to him first. He is divorced recently and still see his ex wife regularly since they share custody with the DOG. She is the one who left and now engaged to be married. Should I worry about it ? She even text him contantly about the dog and i told him it's not nice to answer her while im with him. Am i being unreasonable? I'm his first girlfriend since his divorced while dating for a while. Do you think he is ready for me ?

We had a talked about marriage since he was divorced twice he says he wont get married again. Is that a red Flag? So i answered him back to be defensive that I dont want to get married again. Then he corrected himself that he wont do it anytime soon. Should i worry if he see his ex wife regularly? I told him to move on and he said he is divorced and i have nothing to worry about. While im in the process of my divorce right now. I dont want to get hurt. I think he still have feelings with the ex wife. Im falling in love with him and i dont want to get hurt. Should i stay ? Should i give him more time ?
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  November 17,2009, 6:30pm
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"Do you think he is ready for me ?"

NO!

It sounds like he has no clue what he is trying to do. If you really want to save yourself time and heartache, just run away from this relationship and find someone that is really emotionally available and ready to have a relationship with you.
 
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mari3434 is offline mari3434 Post #3  November 17,2009, 6:42pm
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OP - doesn't sound like either of you are ready to commit....
 
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Dinoxx99x is offline Dinoxx99x Post #4  November 17,2009, 6:58pm
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OP, I see 3 problems with this situation:

1) Both of you agreed to an exclusive relationship. He closed his eHarmony acccount but you didn't?

2) He has "regular" contact with his ex-wife and you, understandably, have a problem with this. However, you're still MARRIED.

3) Since you're still MARRIED, why are you on eHarmony?

Instead of wondering if this guy is ready for a healthy, committed relationship, I would recommend that you get your divorce finalized and get yourself healthy first. You say that you don't want to get hurt; however, you're setting yourself up for exacctly that.
 
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bikinglady is offline bikinglady Post #5  November 18,2009, 5:59pm
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Sorry I forgot to say I'm separated for 2 years. Thanks for the advice....
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #6  November 19,2009, 11:39am
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Yes you should worry about his relationship with his ex-wife.

Divorced twice and says he's not going to get married again and your his first girlfriend since his latest divorce is not one red flag, it is three red flags and a blinking neon sign.

If you don't want to get hurt, I think you should move on.
 
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bikinglady is offline bikinglady Post #7  November 19,2009, 5:30pm
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Thanks Kevin ! I really appreciate the advice. Deep inside i know it's going to be a disaster but as you can see I'm in denial. Well time to move on ....
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #8  November 19,2009, 9:20pm
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bikinglady wrote :
...We had a talked about marriage since he was divorced twice he says he wont get married again. Is that a red Flag?...
what do you think?

bikinglady wrote :
...Should i worry if he see his ex wife regularly?...
again, what do you think?

bikinglady wrote :
...I told him to move on...
if you have to tell him, he is not ready to do it.

bikinglady wrote :
...While im in the process of my divorce right now...
and you are not ready either!

bikinglady wrote :
...I dont want to get hurt. I think he still have feelings with the ex wife. Im falling in love with him and i dont want to get hurt...
too late!

you are both re-bounding. break up, put him behind you and take time to heal yourself. and do not be in a hury to enter your next relationship

good luck!
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #9  November 20,2009, 3:50pm
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I'm sorry, OP, but ...

This is a train wreck waiting to happen.
 
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