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craz35 craz35 is offline
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Ok here goes was married for 13 yrs recently single now so don't really know much about the dating thing. Meet this women online about a month ago we live a distance apart so we haven't actually met yet but had planned on it. Anyway the first 7 days she would call and text constantly and we would spend at least 2 hours or more on the phone each time which was cool. Then something changed and not really sure why? She called late one night and I didn't answer and since then the calling and texting have come to a slow and very intermittent pace with me now being the one to make first contact. She sometimes returns the call or just texts asking if she can call me another time which never happens. The few times that we have talked it only lasted maybe 10 or so minutes. I have asked her on different occasions if she still wanted to pursue this and if she felt comfortable with it and she said yes but with the lack of communication I don't know. One example is just last night we texted and during those texts I asked if she would rather talk she said yes so I called and she never answered so I waited and just texted her goodnight and have a great weekend and still haven't heard from her yet. I know and understand people get busy and life gets hectic but if it's not something you want just come out and say it so I at least know. It's starting to make me feel if I text or call I'm bothering her. I don't like games but at the same time I'm really interested in her and don't want to quit without truly knowing. Anyway any information or insights would be welcome.
- November 6th, 2009, 10:40 pm
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RobTX1 RobTX1 is offline
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Hmmm so you missed a call one night late and then it slowed down and cooled off? Thats strange. I gather you talked a lot to her at the beginning and got to know something about her. I'd see if she agrees to meet with you. Try and see if you guys can meet up someplace public and talk like that. If she doesn't go for it or if she still makes it to where you're always the first to text, call, and communicate then forget it she was probably just not ready or not interested anymore.
- November 7th, 2009, 02:09 pm
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Daise Daise is offline
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The thing about meeting people online is that it actually distances us from the true nature of the person and with you having a physical distance, it is just adding to it. In this world of texting and emailing in the dating world it leaves much to the imagination. Sounds to me like this gal enjoyed the pursuit but when push comes to shove and the relationship is ready for that next step, she got cold feet. I am going to guess that she is likely engaged with others within the online dating site and is just trying to pick the one whom she likes most. Don't waste your time on someone who is wishy washy, you will always be trying to please her and receive nothing in return. You deserve so much more for yourself, find someone who shares your enthusiasm for a relationship.
This is the whole problem with dating online, there is so much mystery and guessing because we don't acutallly look each other straight in the eye when we converse. But this is what we are dealing with in this day and age of dating and unfortunately we will be dealing with more confusion and heartache as well.
Good Luck.
- November 8th, 2009, 09:33 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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You say this is a LDR, how far a distance? If it is just a couple hours by car see if you can set up to meet in person in her city then drive there and meet in person. You will never know the person until you meet in person. There is a good chance that she has met someone that is local.

You also talk a lot about her calling and texting you. Do you call her an equal number of times? If she is the one doing all the calling then she may have decided that you are not interested.
- November 8th, 2009, 09:35 am
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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Personally, I would not pursue a long distance relationship in your shoes. You're new to dating again... so get in a position where you can actually MEET someone and date them!

Look for someone local. Chalk up the current experience to just getting used to communicating with others again. Not every relationship will work out, and LDRs have a smaller chance than local ones of doing so.

By the way... the reduced communication, delayed responses, etc., are all standard for the "slow fade" way of breaking up with someone. Although if you've never even met it's hard to call it a break up.

Better luck with your next match!
- November 8th, 2009, 09:59 am
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