Should I move on or wait it out?


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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #11  November 7,2009, 12:58pm
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You've been "dating a long time", yet you try to solve what seems like a major problem with an email ? (as DancingFool already noted) And before that with a phone call ? You're not going to solve anything without a face to face discussion.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #12  November 8,2009, 12:23am
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So to re-cap from your OP and subsequent post:

~ She blew off your plans without any prior notification.
~ You tried to call her re this.
~ When she wouldn't answer or return your calls, you resorted to email.
~ She replied to your email in anger.
~ You apologise and send her flowers.
~ She responded to your overture with a stance of she's not sure of you or of your relationship.

Have I got it right? If so, there are two things which stand out:

1. Her lack of clear and healthy communication. It is not okay to blow off another person like that and when you call her on her lack of courtesy toward you, she responds with anger and with what seems to be an attempt to get you travelling the guilt trip train.

2. Email. I can understand why you resorted to email when she wouldn't answer or return your calls. Are you in an LDR, and so you were unable to speak with her in person?

My suggestion would be that you consider what you want and if it is to be with this woman, I think you need to have a calm and frank discussion about her behaviour. It is a red flag for me when adults can't - or won't - 'own' their unacceptable behaviour. She may not realise how rude and churlish was her behaviour toward you ... especially if no one has ever called her on it previously.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #13  November 8,2009, 1:55am
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move on. she doesn't have her act together in too many ways to enumerate.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #14  November 8,2009, 5:13am
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Scottb69x wrote :
I have been dating this woman for a long time and we have had our ups and downs in the past.
How long you been dating; weeks, months, years ... and you'e not yet in a relationship. What are you bothering? Is the sex that great? Get out there. Not worth it.
 
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