Mugsy is offline Mugsy Post #31  November 5,2009, 2:11pm
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I agree with Sassafrass on this. The only complicating factor here is the fact that he's invited you to stay at his place. I'm sure there's a nice hotel nearby where you could stay for a night for a very reasonable price. Then you can put all of your attention to re-connecting with him and having fun; and not on whether or not he is expecting "to get into your pants."
 
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heartbreaker1284 is offline heartbreaker1284 Post #32  November 5,2009, 2:13pm
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imbricated wrote :
Not knowing whether its platonic or not can be half the fun. It sounds like you know him well enough that there's not much of a chance for romantic tension to become unwelcome panic.

Just keep a busy schedule OUTSIDE of his house and bring ugly, opaque pajamas. The pajamas alone should send a clear enough signal, and should things change for the better they can always come off!

Don't stress it or you'll likely ruin it. Just go and enjoy the trip.

Love it! I couldn't agree more and besides your comment made me laugh... I don't know if I own ugly PJ's but I'll get some before I leave! Thank you.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #33  November 5,2009, 2:50pm
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Lilycat wrote :
...Remember that you have to trust someone some time or you lose the ability......
+1
 
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alissag is offline alissag Post #34  November 5,2009, 3:16pm
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heartbreaker1284 wrote :
Icon - I actually decided after reading this that it is in my best interest to address it with him beforehand because on my terms it is a platonic visit. I like your idea and I think I can do it tactfully or at least put some humor behind it!
As long as you can have open communication with him about it prior to your visit, then you're covered. Just be upfront and honest with him.

Recently, an old college friend of mine, of the opposite sex, came into town for work. We planned to spend time together while he was here and he planned an extended stay for that to happen. He was going to stay at a hotel near me but I told him he was more than welcome to stay at my place. However, I made sure to discuss the arrangements with him beforehand. That's the way I work, I talk about things. And, just because I invite someone to stay at my house (or vice versa) does not a sxual invitation make. Now, if I knew he had a romantic interest in me, but I didn't feel the same, I would not have extended the invite, just to assure there were no mixed messages or false hope.

Sounds like you're taking the necessary steps to ensure you haven't mislead him. And, if you decide you want your visit to go down that road, then take off them ugly PJ's!

Looking forward to hearing about your trip... Good luck and have a fabulous time!
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #35  November 5,2009, 3:32pm
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Youz all a-crazy!! Bring your chocolate brown sparkly teddie and the matching lace thong and do it for all of us that wish we were off for a weekend of sex. You wastin' it girl! You think you gonna be all hot and young forever?!
 
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imbricated is offline imbricated Post #36  November 5,2009, 3:40pm
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I don't know if I would bring it up with him before you go. It could come across as "now let's be clear that I'm coming down as a platonic friend, because if you're expecting anything else that would be just totally gross"... or..."I see what you're trying to do, I bet you do this sort of thing with all the office tail"...or..."if I found you remotely attractive I wouldn't have to say this, but"...

Basically I can't see a way that getting all your security boundaries in place before you see him could be perceived as a positive or romantic, from his perspective. And if I'm not mistaken, you are interested in him.

For my part, I never assume I'm going to get any action off of any woman I date, regardless of the circumstances. Always hope of course, but never assume. Hoping is generally considered cute and sexy, assuming; not so much. Spontaneous fun, whether sex is involved or not, is pretty hard to come by and easily mucked up.

You're smart, pretty, confident and female: you're in control already. Just go, trust your instincts and have fun.
 
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Jato87 is offline Jato87 Post #37  November 6,2009, 2:50pm
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heartbreaker1284 wrote :
Love it! ... I don't know if I own ugly PJ's but I'll get some before I leave! Thank you.
=================================

If you've been married before, you surely have some already. They're mentioned as a standard clause in every divorce petition. Generally in the form of a long flannel nightgown.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #38  November 6,2009, 3:21pm
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Jato87 wrote :
=================================

If you've been married before, you surely have some already. They're mentioned as a standard clause in every divorce petition. Generally in the form of a long flannel nightgown.

The OP
stated in post #1 that she got married last year and the divorce was final this year.
 
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