Iconography is offline Iconography Post #21  November 5,2009, 11:27am
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got her own goat!

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What DancingFool said.

When my long-distance match--with whom I've been corresponding for a couple of months now--and I meet up, it's likely going to be at one of his places. But we've talked about the sex issue and he knows (and understands and respects) my current boundaries.

Heartbreaker, is there any way to tactfully (or not!) address this point with him beforehand, so there isn't any misunderstanding?
 
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Jato87 is offline Jato87 Post #22  November 5,2009, 11:44am
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It appears that the OP and her guy both have genuine interest in each other besides sexual.

What is funny, is how naively you've tried to convince us that this is mostly platonic, while it's obvious that there's very high sexual expectations on both parts. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Enjoy your weekend; you don't have to explain it to us afterward---we'll understand.
Last edited by Jato87; November 5,2009 at 11:53am.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #23  November 5,2009, 11:56am

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Send us a postcard! or pictures!
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #24  November 5,2009, 12:02pm
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all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

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How should you approach this?

With caution, with eyes wide open and without expectations.

Good luck.
 
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heartbreaker1284 is offline heartbreaker1284 Post #25  November 5,2009, 1:19pm
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Icon - I actually decided after reading this that it is in my best interest to address it with him beforehand because on my terms it is a platonic visit. I like your idea and I think I can do it tactfully or at least put some humor behind it!

Pacesetter - we do have genuine interest in each other however as I told Icon, I am going without any romantic interest. That's why I posted here - I wanted to see if outsiders thought there was something else behind it on his part.

Thank you all so much! I am feeling better about this whole thing and I know I will have fun! I'll post pictures when I return
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #26  November 5,2009, 1:40pm
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anticipates

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heartbreaker1284 wrote :
...I'll post pictures when I return
cool
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #27  November 5,2009, 1:48pm
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Just been lurking for a while....... but back again lol.

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Hi - IMHO some of you gentlemen just might be a little harsh here. Remember this is NOT a blind date, or a first meet kind of thing. They actually know each other. All you can say from what has been said here is that he is probably interested in her - now exactly how remains to be seen...... and the only way to find out is to go visit.

On topic: You sound like you have it all together with your plans - go, listen to your gut, and if uncomfortable with any aspect of this get thee to a hotel quick. As long as you have your Plan B firmly in place, have fun. And by the way, I agree with you paying for your own ticket, IMHO that's a good move.

Been there, done that and had a blast! And it is not always about someone trying to "nail" you if you know what I mean. There is time to figure out if this is, or will be a relationship in a romantic sense, just use your time to get reacquainted and enjoy the town!

Lilycat
the wise little kitty......

P.S. Remember that you have to trust someone some time or you lose the ability......
 
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imbricated is offline imbricated Post #28  November 5,2009, 1:50pm
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Not knowing whether its platonic or not can be half the fun. It sounds like you know him well enough that there's not much of a chance for romantic tension to become unwelcome panic.

Just keep a busy schedule OUTSIDE of his house and bring ugly, opaque pajamas. The pajamas alone should send a clear enough signal, and should things change for the better they can always come off!

Don't stress it or you'll likely ruin it. Just go and enjoy the trip.
 
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p_babe is offline p_babe Post #29  November 5,2009, 1:57pm
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6dle899 wrote :
TOTALLY agree with you on this, John.



Err, no thanks.




If you accepted his invitation, to stay with him at his house, you should expect to have sex with him...YOU DO understand that, don't you?

You have no reason to play coy around this, having already been married and divorced within the last year or so; and if you are free spirited and do things on a whim, the sex should be no big deal for you as you can't claim to be a blushing virgin or anything.

Right?


Just go and have fun with him, no holds barred.

You know you want to. So does he. He always did
6dle899 and gr8guy...I just love you guys!
 
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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #30  November 5,2009, 2:05pm
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Just been lurking for a while....... but back again lol.

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Good point about the ugly opaque pjs by the way..... standard really.
Last edited by Lilycat; November 5,2009 at 2:07pm. Reason: small addition
 
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