Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #11  November 5,2009, 9:29am
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The question isn't how should you approach this. Its "What do you want?"

What do you want to happen?

Once you figure that out, then go into the situation with your eyes open. If you feel that you don't want something to happen, be honest and set up accommodations for yourself. There's nothing wrong with getting a room at the Sleep Inn or Holiday Inn for yourself. If you trust being with him in an intimate setting, then stay with him at his place, but know what you want to do and not want to do and make it clear. And if at any time, you stop being comfortable. Leave. Don't let guilt get in your way. Don't let yourself be manipulate. Be clear and true to yourself.
 
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chrysalis08 is offline chrysalis08 Post #12  November 5,2009, 9:49am
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I'm staying with him while I'm there because I do not know anyone else in the city and don't feel comfortable staying alone.

I think you already know what you're going there for and that's fine - I find you're statement above says it all. Don't know why a hotel room would make you feel uncomfortable - you have options if you don't want to give him the wrong message. Don't sleep at his house.

 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #13  November 5,2009, 9:52am
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oh for god's sake - go have sex with him! Or at least come rake my leaves this weekend and I'll go have sex with him! Why would anyone in their right mind pass on a weekend of sex?!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #14  November 5,2009, 10:03am

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Ephemera wrote :
come rake my leaves this weekend!
In some countries, this actually means have sex with me this weekend!

OP...you know what's up (pun intended)!
 
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heartbreaker1284 is offline heartbreaker1284 Post #15  November 5,2009, 10:11am
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Wow. Thank all of you for your advice and statements. In case no one read my follow-up - he OFFERED to pay but I insisted that I would pay this time and he said alright but I will next time. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear in the first post.

To those that said I am some kind of tease or that I KNOW I'm going there to have sex - I find that incredibly insulting. When I say I'm a free spirit - I mean I will do things on a whim that other people might not. I chose to go skydiving and went the next day. I understand that he might think he's getting laid (though I kind of don't think he does) but it's not what I am going there for.

I am prepared to book a hotel if need be and I already put the number for one in my phone. Its mostly a money issue and I don't want to spend a ton just to go for 2 days. I hope that he has good intentions - I just wanted to see if I was going crazy for thinking he might be wanting more out of this weekend then I thought.

I appreciate all of your responses and I will definitely keep my eyes (and heart) open to whatever may happen!
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #16  November 5,2009, 10:24am
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Shrug....decide what you want and then go and have fun and see if what you want happens. Do have a backup plan though just in case.

Either way, it's pretty obvious that his invitation is not platonic and he is not just being a good friend - he is into you. As for him being a gentleman or not, only you know him and you know what your gut says about that. Since you feel comfortable staying with him, I'm guessing you know that he is safe and decent. Come to think of it, I don't really know what your question even is. Just go and have fun.
 
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heartbreaker1284 is offline heartbreaker1284 Post #17  November 5,2009, 10:35am
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Dancingfool - Your post made me crack up for some reason. I guess my question was, is this platonic or not? You just summarized it for me. I was not sure how to word what I was trying to say, so I appreciate the help.

Apparently, this invitation is not platonic and I was naive and presumptuous in believing it may have been. I don't know - I always tend to think the best of people and not see where they might not be thinking the same thing I am. It helps me to have outsiders perspectives that are not courtesy of my girlfriends, who have somehow worked out that this entire thing is a "sign" and "fate". They can be hopeless romantics. I simply needed a reality check!

I'm going to go, have a great time and make the best of the weekend away. Thank you!
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #18  November 5,2009, 10:47am
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I'd agree with others....if your interest in the invitation is strictly platonic, book your own hotel so there's no confusion on the matter.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #19  November 5,2009, 11:13am
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Ephemera wrote :
Why would anyone in their right mind pass on a weekend of sex?!
LOL, I wouldn't either
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #20  November 5,2009, 11:14am
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heartbreaker1284 wrote :
Dancingfool - Your post made me crack up for some reason. I guess my question was, is this platonic or not? You just summarized it for me. I was not sure how to word what I was trying to say, so I appreciate the help.

Apparently, this invitation is not platonic and I was naive and presumptuous in believing it may have been. I don't know - I always tend to think the best of people and not see where they might not be thinking the same thing I am. It helps me to have outsiders perspectives that are not courtesy of my girlfriends, who have somehow worked out that this entire thing is a "sign" and "fate". They can be hopeless romantics. I simply needed a reality check!

I'm going to go, have a great time and make the best of the weekend away. Thank you!
lol...glad to be of service. Just one additional comment - just because he is interested in you in a romantic way, does not make him a pig who is only after one thing. It's likely he is interested in testing dating waters - meaning I don't think he is only looking to get into your panties and you should not presume that either. I just don't think that he would do what he is doing, if he wasn't interested in dating/relationship potential. Just keep your mind open and see how things go. Either way sounds like a fun weekend coming up.
 
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