Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Ask a Dating Expert See what our experts have to say, and then weigh in with your own advice. This discussion board is a great place to discover the wisdom of the group.

Reply
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Dafearon Dafearon is offline
Dafearon's Avatar

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,218

See profile

The question isn't how should you approach this. Its "What do you want?"

What do you want to happen?

Once you figure that out, then go into the situation with your eyes open. If you feel that you don't want something to happen, be honest and set up accommodations for yourself. There's nothing wrong with getting a room at the Sleep Inn or Holiday Inn for yourself. If you trust being with him in an intimate setting, then stay with him at his place, but know what you want to do and not want to do and make it clear. And if at any time, you stop being comfortable. Leave. Don't let guilt get in your way. Don't let yourself be manipulate. Be clear and true to yourself.
- November 5th, 2009, 10:29 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
chrysalis08 chrysalis08 is offline
chrysalis08's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 133

See profile

I'm staying with him while I'm there because I do not know anyone else in the city and don't feel comfortable staying alone.

I think you already know what you're going there for and that's fine - I find you're statement above says it all. Don't know why a hotel room would make you feel uncomfortable - you have options if you don't want to give him the wrong message. Don't sleep at his house.

- November 5th, 2009, 10:49 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
Ephemera Ephemera is offline
Ephemera's Avatar

Ephemera is tasting snowflakes one at a time.

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 169

See profile

oh for god's sake - go have sex with him! Or at least come rake my leaves this weekend and I'll go have sex with him! Why would anyone in their right mind pass on a weekend of sex?!
- November 5th, 2009, 10:52 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
PY_2 PY_2 is online now
PY_2's Avatar

PY_2 facebook suggested I reconnected with.....my long lost gf....*sigh*

Virtuoso

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 3,000

See profile

Ephemera wrote :
come rake my leaves this weekend!
In some countries, this actually means have sex with me this weekend!

OP...you know what's up (pun intended)!
- November 5th, 2009, 11:03 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
heartbreaker1284 heartbreaker1284 is offline
heartbreaker1284's Avatar

heartbreaker1284 is ready for this weekend adventure.

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 12

See profile

Wow. Thank all of you for your advice and statements. In case no one read my follow-up - he OFFERED to pay but I insisted that I would pay this time and he said alright but I will next time. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear in the first post.

To those that said I am some kind of tease or that I KNOW I'm going there to have sex - I find that incredibly insulting. When I say I'm a free spirit - I mean I will do things on a whim that other people might not. I chose to go skydiving and went the next day. I understand that he might think he's getting laid (though I kind of don't think he does) but it's not what I am going there for.

I am prepared to book a hotel if need be and I already put the number for one in my phone. Its mostly a money issue and I don't want to spend a ton just to go for 2 days. I hope that he has good intentions - I just wanted to see if I was going crazy for thinking he might be wanting more out of this weekend then I thought.

I appreciate all of your responses and I will definitely keep my eyes (and heart) open to whatever may happen!
- November 5th, 2009, 11:11 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

DancingFool DancingFool is offline
DancingFool's Avatar

DancingFool wishes the rain would go away...

Veteran

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 1,756

See profile

Shrug....decide what you want and then go and have fun and see if what you want happens. Do have a backup plan though just in case.

Either way, it's pretty obvious that his invitation is not platonic and he is not just being a good friend - he is into you. As for him being a gentleman or not, only you know him and you know what your gut says about that. Since you feel comfortable staying with him, I'm guessing you know that he is safe and decent. Come to think of it, I don't really know what your question even is. Just go and have fun.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:24 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
heartbreaker1284 heartbreaker1284 is offline
heartbreaker1284's Avatar

heartbreaker1284 is ready for this weekend adventure.

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 12

See profile

Dancingfool - Your post made me crack up for some reason. I guess my question was, is this platonic or not? You just summarized it for me. I was not sure how to word what I was trying to say, so I appreciate the help.

Apparently, this invitation is not platonic and I was naive and presumptuous in believing it may have been. I don't know - I always tend to think the best of people and not see where they might not be thinking the same thing I am. It helps me to have outsiders perspectives that are not courtesy of my girlfriends, who have somehow worked out that this entire thing is a "sign" and "fate". They can be hopeless romantics. I simply needed a reality check!

I'm going to go, have a great time and make the best of the weekend away. Thank you!
- November 5th, 2009, 11:35 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
cardguy cardguy is online now
cardguy's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 784

See profile

I'd agree with others....if your interest in the invitation is strictly platonic, book your own hotel so there's no confusion on the matter.
- November 5th, 2009, 11:47 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
Mokkesofie Mokkesofie is online now
Mokkesofie's Avatar

Virtuoso

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 3,772

See profile

Ephemera wrote :
Why would anyone in their right mind pass on a weekend of sex?!
LOL, I wouldn't either
- November 5th, 2009, 12:13 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
DancingFool DancingFool is offline
DancingFool's Avatar

DancingFool wishes the rain would go away...

Veteran

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 1,756

See profile

heartbreaker1284 wrote :
Dancingfool - Your post made me crack up for some reason. I guess my question was, is this platonic or not? You just summarized it for me. I was not sure how to word what I was trying to say, so I appreciate the help.

Apparently, this invitation is not platonic and I was naive and presumptuous in believing it may have been. I don't know - I always tend to think the best of people and not see where they might not be thinking the same thing I am. It helps me to have outsiders perspectives that are not courtesy of my girlfriends, who have somehow worked out that this entire thing is a "sign" and "fate". They can be hopeless romantics. I simply needed a reality check!

I'm going to go, have a great time and make the best of the weekend away. Thank you!
lol...glad to be of service. Just one additional comment - just because he is interested in you in a romantic way, does not make him a pig who is only after one thing. It's likely he is interested in testing dating waters - meaning I don't think he is only looking to get into your panties and you should not presume that either. I just don't think that he would do what he is doing, if he wasn't interested in dating/relationship potential. Just keep your mind open and see how things go. Either way sounds like a fun weekend coming up.
- November 5th, 2009, 12:14 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4

Bookmarks

« What the heck is this?? I really got hurt.... | Array | What to do!!!!! »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How/when do I approach the topic of my first marriage? Orangepeel Dating 27 October 29th, 2009 09:09 pm
Dinner with a friend or a date? ohiossteacher Dating 19 October 13th, 2009 03:53 pm
Should I still approach her? fas82 Ask a Dating Expert 1 October 2nd, 2009 11:01 am
The light is green enough but I need help to approach her! 6dle899 Dating 19 July 29th, 2009 05:37 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Le sigh Andi. I'm green with envy. So glad you had a good date. Looking forward to hearing about good date # 5 ” – SweetKatieA

Join the “Saturday Night Date” discussion

“I was actually surprised but this quiz got me down exactly right!  The patient pleaser” – kate5md

Join the “Take Our Quiz: Are you High Maintenance?” discussion

“I learned right off the bat that I needed to thicken up my skin in a hurry, yet somehow not harden my heart in that process. I learned that no matter how I feel at various times about my ... ” – brneyedangel

Join the “What lessons have you learned from online dating?” discussion

“Hrmm, thanks for the advice here, people. Much appreciated. I see now why some people can take it the wrong way, so I just changed my MH/CS list to other things that I want, don't want in a ... ” – listererik

Join the “Must Have/Can't Stand Mistake?” discussion

“Crcbonjour amazing post! I'm not going to copy it all because it's (I forget her name, but she posts very long posts) worthy. However, you bring up alot of good points. Everything but love can be ... ” – SweetKatieA

Join the “Income Levels: Important or Not?” discussion

“Don't be too hard on yourself. Dating is a learned skill. You'll get better with time. And I am a big believer that if you do meet the right person, a few mistakes are not going to stop them from ... ” – suzyblueeyes

Join the “Rough Start” discussion

“ No, that means everyday. ” – MicMan

Join the “free weekend coming up” discussion

“Well if everything else was "perfect" it would be a lot easier to give something up unless it's major, but even then weighed in the balances it might not seem as bad. It's difficult to say without ... ” – Nanette

Join the “Dacrifice” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:06 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0