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yourguy's Avatar

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A woman and myself were matched about 2 weeks ago. We went through the communication stage at a rapid pace because she seemed to be interesting. and I assumed she felt the same. We reached Open Communication by Oct.25th exactly ten days since the day we were matched. Well that morning of the 25th I sent her an email saying that I would like her to purchase the rely I.D. stamp just to show a little more certainty of that who she say's she is, thinking for six dollars it shouldn't be a problem,no big deal. Taking into consideration the pace we communicated I am shocked not to have heard anything from her since. Starting to think she wasn't as serious or maybe has something to hide. Very astonished. Can some one give me some real advice.
- November 1st, 2009, 04:58 pm
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10 days is not a rapid pace to reach OC. Actually it's quite slow.

I would laugh at, and close, a match who asked me to buy Rely I.D. as the first OC message. Your job is to keep your match interested and wanting to meet you, and this is what you do? Lame.

I mean, I understand what the purpose and intent of Rely I.D. is, but you're telling her that you're not smart enough to protect yourself by asking your own questions and using caution when setting up meetings and dates.
- November 1st, 2009, 05:12 pm
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I agree with melman on this one.

10 days is pretty slow to reach OC.

And if a guy asked me to buy Rely ID I would be laughing as I closed him.
- November 1st, 2009, 05:28 pm
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alissag Life's not about weathering the storm but learning to dance in the rain!

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melman wrote :
10 days is not a rapid pace to reach OC. Actually it's quite slow.

I would laugh at, and close, a match who asked me to buy Rely I.D. as the first OC message. Your job is to keep your match interested and wanting to meet you, and this is what you do? Lame.

I mean, I understand what the purpose and intent of Rely I.D. is, but you're telling her that you're not smart enough to protect yourself by asking your own questions and using caution when setting up meetings and dates.
See, here I agree with you again, although I rarely do LOL

I'm a bright an intelligent gal, I don't need Rely ID to settle my nerves. I put it all out there despite the whole RelyID... I trust my gut and feminine instincts more than that carp!
- November 1st, 2009, 05:29 pm
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alissag Life's not about weathering the storm but learning to dance in the rain!

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I agree with melman on this one.

10 days is pretty slow to reach OC.

And if a guy asked me to buy Rely ID I would be laughing as I closed him.
Cheers WW!!!
- November 1st, 2009, 05:58 pm
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I agree with everyone here and I really don't understand why would you do that?? She is probably shocked and I really would not expect her to reply to you again and it's not because of the 6 bucks or that she isn't who she says she is or that she was not serious or that she has something to hide or anything else you are thinking. Your thought process on this is all wrong.
- November 1st, 2009, 08:20 pm
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bravethestorm 10/10/09 Engaged to eharmony match

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Asking someone to confirm they are being honest is kinda saying you doubt her. Then to top that off...it's asking her to pay additional money for a service that really doesn't confirm all that much.

If you're really serious about a match, I would suggest a background check when the time comes. Once you've talked a bit...you'll have all the information you'd need to do that and it's up to you if you want to tell her you did it or not.

Before you're really serious on someone though....try to take them at their word. Of course, be careful...meet in a public place etc...but keep it on the positive...like where to go for dinner etc rather than what she needs to do.
- November 1st, 2009, 10:56 pm
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relyID is a marketing ploy used to EH to make more money- it really verifies nothing. you have, in effect, called your match a liar and have asked her to prove your accusation false.

i am surprised she has not already closed you.

but perhaps she just wants to leave you hanging...

;-)
- November 1st, 2009, 11:58 pm
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Shelby Remember it's all good.

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She's probably thinking that you're suspicious about something she said in her communication, and feels insulted that you question her veracity. Did you think she was a scammer? You basically indicated as much when you asked her to sign up for Rely ID.

Lesson learned on the rocky road to a relationship..
- November 2nd, 2009, 05:02 pm
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