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smarterthanbefore smarterthanbefore is offline
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More information is needed. If the ex-wife is vindictive in proceedings, it can drag on for years, none of it the fault of the man. Two to three more months (about a year total) gives a clue since only amicable divorces settle so soon. Why not proceed as things are currently for a few more months? If you're a good communicator you'll have confirmation of a sound decision to stand by him or enough knowledge to know it's a waste to time to continue
- November 3rd, 2009, 10:07 am
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SactoDoug SactoDoug is offline
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Daise wrote :
For what it is worth, I just don't get what all the fuss is about regarding "finalized divorce papers", they are just that, papers and do not change how people feel about one another once they are filed. If someone is bitter towards and ex, they will continue to be bitter even after the papers are signed and sealed. This I have experienced. I dated a fellow who was divorced for 5 years and still had issues with his ex, it just simply doesn't disappear after the papers are signed like so many here seem to think. Why does everything have to be so black and white and fall into some kind of pretty little box. Life really isn't like that, so do what feels right to you and if you think this guy is worth your time, go for it and don't worry about papers, they are just that, papers. Truly take the time to find out what this guy is all about on the inside and use that as your guide.
A divorce is just as important as a marriage license. They are both pieces of paper so why bother getting married in the first place? That piece of paper can't change your feelings, can it? Actually it does matter and it matters a lot.

It is more than just papers. In a marriage, you formally, legally and publicly declare your relationship with your spouse. A divorce formally, legally and publicly ends that relationship. Until that tie is broken, then those two people are still tied together.
- November 3rd, 2009, 10:28 am
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islandrain80 islandrain80 is offline
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islandrain80 has tired feet from chasing and waiting around....

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Daise wrote :
For what it is worth, I just don't get what all the fuss is about regarding "finalized divorce papers", they are just that, papers and do not change how people feel about one another once they are filed. If someone is bitter towards and ex, they will continue to be bitter even after the papers are signed and sealed. This I have experienced. I dated a fellow who was divorced for 5 years and still had issues with his ex, it just simply doesn't disappear after the papers are signed like so many here seem to think. Why does everything have to be so black and white and fall into some kind of pretty little box. Life really isn't like that, so do what feels right to you and if you think this guy is worth your time, go for it and don't worry about papers, they are just that, papers. Truly take the time to find out what this guy is all about on the inside and use that as your guide.
It may be just papers. But those papers still have legal bindings over things in their life. True, it doesn't decree their feelings towards each other, but I think getting the papers is a final stamp that that part of their life is a closed chapter.

Not saying don't go for it, just be careful. Depending on the issues surrounding the divorce, it could be a rough road for him. And you, if included.
- November 3rd, 2009, 05:08 pm
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