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bigfincat bigfincat is offline
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I would say that you never got started before so starting now is a fine idea.

You really cannot speculate as to whether he was dealing with other women or not. He may have just slowed down because he could not proceed forward at a reasonable pace.

So yes he is worth responding to as much as anyone else is.
- October 26th, 2009, 05:51 pm
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OverAnalyzer OverAnalyzer is offline
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limonade34 wrote :
snipped--
Now I'm not really sure what to do. I haven't gotten involved in a relationship in the meantime (nor do I have many strong prospects), so I wouldn't mind continuing to talk to him- he generally seems like someone I would get along well with. On the other hand, why waste my time on someone who couldn't be bothered to talk to me for a month? Should I answer and see where it goes? Ask what was really up this past month? Ignore the email? Honestly, I just don't want to keep talking to him and then have him think poorly of me because I'm willing to still talk after being ignored for a month. So what would you do in this situation? Any advice greatly appreciated!
Well, there isn't any point in asking him why the delay in communication. You have no idea what he will think of you - he may have been truly busy and didn't feel he had the energy to put into something new. Granted, an email would have been nice but you were just starting out.

I really don't know what I would do, but if I were to respond I would wait at least a week. Maybe 10 days. I think waiting to respond makes a statement without having the conversation, which you really don't need to have. But you're not me so do what YOU want.
- October 26th, 2009, 06:42 pm
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brneyedangel brneyedangel is offline
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In all honesty, if you have to ask, then I'd say probably not. But you knew that already, didn't you?
- October 26th, 2009, 06:42 pm
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TiffanyDiamond TiffanyDiamond is offline
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limonade34 wrote :
That's fine with him seeing others- my problem is mostly that I don't want to seem pathetic because I'm still willing to get to know him after he basically ignored me for a month. And you're right, I don't really know enough about him to go one way or the other, which is how I found myself asking here .
Yeah but you shouldn't feel pathetic. For all this guy knows you were going out with other people too! Right? Remeber - he doesn't know what you've been doing! In the meantime I would continue to try to meet other people.
- October 26th, 2009, 07:15 pm
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sasha979 sasha979 is offline
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I wouldn't respond. A month is too long to go without communication. It seems like his intentions are pretty obvious, he needs the attention from you now that his options fell through. I went through the same thing recently. I kept making excuses for him and was hurt in the end.

What they say is true- Actions speak louder than words. A man who is truly interested wouldn't wait that long. He had his chance and blew it. I'd rather find someone who makes me a priority and not an option.
- October 26th, 2009, 09:45 pm
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sailingtme sailingtme is offline
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Hi! You can respond if that is what you would like to do, however make sure you're ready for him to disappear on you again. How are you going to feel then?

Good luck
- October 27th, 2009, 12:01 am
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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no, i don't think there's a point. he may have been dating around, he may not have (frankly, i think in the world of grown-ups, it's quite easy to lose a month). but sometimes fate conspires against us. i think the boat has sailed on your enthusiasm, and rightly so.
- October 27th, 2009, 12:46 am
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tbesq tbesq is offline
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If you're interested in him (and assuming you don't really know the exact reason why he didn't contact you for a month), then you should communicate with him.
- October 27th, 2009, 06:06 am
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limonade34 limonade34 is offline
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lucky173 wrote :
I’m curious though, (as a side note), is distance a factor? Or is there some other reason why you and he were in communication through email for a month prior to phone numbers being exchanged? Where there ever plans to meet?
We live a few hours away from each other and did talk about meeting, but it didn't happen in that month because our schedules didn't quite match up.

Also, thanks to everyone for your advice. I'm really new to online dating and am not the most self-confident person as you may have guessed, and I wasn't sure if normal rules of dating applied to online dating.

Thanks again!!
- October 27th, 2009, 09:46 pm
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Mugsy Mugsy is offline
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Hi Limonade, I hear what you're saying, as I was in the same spot last Spring.

We had met once for coffee, and then...... nothing. Five weeks later he e-mailed me asking how I was. I too felt that re-entering communication with him would make me seem pathetic and desperate. But I decided to send him a reply anyway, and I told him that I was surprised to get his e-mail and hoped he was well. Because that was the truth.

That puts the ball back in his court. He can explain the time gap, he can apologize for the time gap, or he can pretend that there was no time gap. That may help you decide wether to remain open to him or not, without you appearing to be pathetic.

Hope this helps.
Mugsy
- November 4th, 2009, 08:55 am
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