techgirl7777 is offline techgirl7777 Post #1  October 19,2009, 4:52pm
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In summer 2006 Mike's wife (Laurie) of 13 years passed away from cancer. Laurie had a daughter from a previous marriage and when Mike married her, he adopted the daughter. Then they had another daughter, and then twin boys. They found out she had cancer and about 7 years later, she passed away. A year after that I met Mike at school. The first night at class, I was there first. He walked in and had his choice of the entire room, but chose to sit by me. He had his wedding ring on. The next week, he had taken his ring off.
I found out about his wife and decided it was probably too soon for him.

A year later, we're in classes together again. This time, he follows me around like a lost puppy. I walk outside at break time and he follows me out. We walk around the campus and talk. I'm extremely attracted to him. He seems interested, but when he starts to look or act like he's going to ask me out, he freezes up and runs. He constantly gives me mixed messages.

Should I wait for him or should I move on?
 
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Wantsomeromance is offline Wantsomeromance Post #2  October 19,2009, 4:54pm
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Why can't you ask him out? Doesn't have to be a romantic date, can just be for lunch or coffe, just to talk.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #3  October 20,2009, 4:35am
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Wantsomeromance wrote :
Why can't you ask him out? Doesn't have to be a romantic date, can just be for lunch or coffe, just to talk.
I agree, he is clearly interested. Invite him for a coffee and take it from there. Good luck and come back and tell us the hopefully good news.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #4  October 20,2009, 8:02am
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I agree. Sounds like he's ready but he's second-guessing himself and probably needs a little encouragement to get started. So invite him out and get it started yourself.
 
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MarkInAustin is offline MarkInAustin Post #5  October 20,2009, 10:38am
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techgirl7777 wrote :
He constantly gives me mixed messages.

Should I wait for him or should I move on?
There is nothing mixed about his messages. He is interested but afraid that if he asks you out, you will act all offended and disappear out of his life (seriously). You are going to have to take the initiative here.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  October 20,2009, 11:55am
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Going to go against the grain here just a bit.

Sure asking him out, taking the initiative seems to make sense if you like to wear the pants in the relationship. If you don't, then perhaps you'd just be wasting each other's time - if he does not have the courage to step up to the plate now, likely he won't change much in the future either. There is nothing wrong with that as long as it suits you both.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #7  October 20,2009, 12:07pm
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I see nothing wrong with asking him to join you for lunch or coffee some time — ie something very casual. But after that, let him make the moves if he is going to.
Last edited by nightling; October 20,2009 at 12:28pm.
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #8  October 20,2009, 12:20pm
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To me it sounds like he is still grieving his wife. I would not ask him out on a date. Give him time. Let him figure out when he is ready.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #9  October 20,2009, 12:27pm
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tjlpd wrote :
To me it sounds like he is still grieving his wife. I would not ask him out on a date. Give him time. Let him figure out when he is ready.
I agree. While he may be comfortable around you, if he was ready he'd probably ask you out. It may even be that he is interested in you, but that he's just not ready to move into the whole relationship thing yet. When he's ready, he'll know, and he'll let you know, too, especially if he's sending you signals like these.
 
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