justwaitingg is offline justwaitingg Post #1  October 14,2009, 5:56pm
justwaitingg's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

I am a 33yo single girl. I have single for an awfully long time. Say 12 years. I found my Mr Right when I was 21 yet when he started talking serious committment at that stage, I wasn't ready and I froze and silly me unable to explain my feelings broke it off without really telling him why. It was only when I truly realized what I had lost and that I truly loved him, that I tried to find him, that of course he had moved on and told me to do the same.

I dated other guys but none I would consider having a serious relationship, they either loved to drink all night, and consider life a party, were taken, or we just didn't connect. I am 33 now and the there are zero guys in my circle of friends who are still single and aren't married with kids, and here I am wondering how can I find someone great and not make the same mistakes. I think back on the past and realize the silly mistakes I have made in relationships or possible relationships and wonder how do I be me now, not be desperate yet find my Mr Right and have I left it too late and is he already married with kids?
 
  Reply With Quote
adesertflower929 is offline adesertflower929 Post #2  October 14,2009, 6:20pm
adesertflower…'s Avatar

is waiting to be found!

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Phoenix, Arizona

Posts: 8

See profile

Just imagine if that were all true and you were 44! You were honest, just as I was at an earlier age. In my case, I am sure that I would have been divorced - not because of him, but me. I had to wait until I was ready, some people can grow up together, but I don't think that I could have done it. I am reminding myself to be patient - be patient, be patient - keep moving, keep growing, keep living - I have to believe that your Mr. Right is out there and I believe that my Mr. Right is out there as well! Good luck in your search!
 
  Reply With Quote
olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #3  October 14,2009, 7:36pm
olneyjeeps's Avatar

...

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

no

Posts: 1,933

See profile

It's funny how the grass is always greener somewhere (or sometime) else. Don't look back. Not to knock anyone's way of thinking, but don't wait for Mr. Right to discover you.... YOU GO FIND HIM! If you wait for him, chances are he will never "find" you... someone else will snag him first. I got over anxious to get married when I was about your age and jumped in far far too soon (was still recovering from TBI).
You are not alone: my love is 43 and has never married / has been long time since any relationship.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  October 14,2009, 7:46pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

You can always contact this guy and catch up on what has happened in each of your lives since you last saw each other.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #5  October 14,2009, 8:00pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,939

See profile

This happens to a lot of people, just waiting. It is quite common, and I think these first loves are something that never quite goes away. A little part of your heart always loves them.

From your post I'm reading that you kind of believe there is only one true love out there for you and that you already lost him. That's so commonly portrayed in films and so many people believe it ... I may be misreading what you said and if so I'm sorry, but I just want to say that I think the whole concept of one true love is probably the most damaging one our society has. I think it keeps people in relationships that are bad for them, or keeps them from seeking a new relationship if they become widowed.

You can have romantic chemistry with someone else and you should not continue to look back with regrets. You weren't ready for the relationship, but he could have listened to your feelings and valued the friendship more and you might have felt able to discuss your issue with him. It was a two-way street.

Build a social circle and keep looking for someone who can be your Mr. Right. There is someone out there you can love.
Last edited by nightling; October 14,2009 at 8:06pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #6  October 14,2009, 9:20pm
olneyjeeps's Avatar

...

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

no

Posts: 1,933

See profile

nightling wrote :
This happens to a lot of people, just waiting. It is quite common, and I think these first loves are something that never quite goes away. A little part of your heart always loves them.

From your post I'm reading that you kind of believe there is only one true love out there for you and that you already lost him. That's so commonly portrayed in films and so many people believe it ... I may be misreading what you said and if so I'm sorry, but I just want to say that I think the whole concept of one true love is probably the most damaging one our society has. I think it keeps people in relationships that are bad for them, or keeps them from seeking a new relationship if they become widowed.

You can have romantic chemistry with someone else and you should not continue to look back with regrets. You can't have a good relationship until you stop looking back. Learn from it, move on, LIVE !You weren't ready for the relationship, but he could have listened to your feelings and valued the friendship more and you might have felt able to discuss your issue with him. It was a two-way street.

Build a social circle and keep looking for someone who can be your Mr. Right. There is someone out there you can love.
I feel so old saying this, but 33 is young!
VERY IMPORTANT: Meeting Mr. Right won't mean KRAP if you are not Ms. Right. Treat others as you would like to be treated and the nice ones will notice (IMHO). You cannot fake being good.

It's funny, Laura keeps emphasizing that she is not perfect. My response is something to effect that it is not because she is not perfect, but because she acknowledges it that (along with a bunch of other stuff of course ) makes her so perfect to and for me.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Questions??? | Ask a Dating Expert | Limbo stage »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Women in late 30's/early 40's who say they want kids Mayne About You 71 November 24,2009 2:10pm
He wouldn't Commit so I Left; Now I think I made a Mistake esthar Relationships 37 November 14,2009 3:25pm
he wouldn't commit so i left; now i think i was wrong esthar Ask a Dating Expert 1 September 9,2009 2:26pm
Is it too late pj33 Dating 3 July 30,2009 6:55pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Does he date women his own age? Who pays? If he still hasn't called by tonight, should you call him? I can understand his read. It doesn't sound like you'll lose any sleep over Bill if you never ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“JNS - the way I handle these sparse/photoless profiles is to Archive them. If there is no photo, you can send a photo nudge. Also, keep an eye on the updates section on your home page. There it will ... ” –  mitchell175

Join the “Sparse profiles.” discussion

“ Thank you for your feedback, Sweetnectar. I've actually stopped the smoking thing because I'm not even sure why I do it when drinking. But I've also stopped receiving matches for now! No other ... ” –  Scott_in_LA

Join the “Profile and Pics Review, Please (M/38)” discussion

“List red flags for men Moderators are watching Get back on topic” –  harnomygirl

Join the “RED flags for men” discussion

“Here's the ad. Want your hair blown back? Trojan Vibrations Commercial Neighbors - YouTube You poor thing! Were you bad? Tweet ... This is the one, though now you did make me have to watch all ... ” –  Shelby

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“That's the whole point of me posting here instead of saying all this to him. Because I KNOW it's too much. So that's what I'm saying - I am backing off. I'm not pressing. I put the ball in his court ... ” –  Holiday_HH

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:27am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0