Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Why do men lie about their height?

Ask a Dating Expert See what our experts have to say, and then weigh in with your own advice. This discussion board is a great place to discover the wisdom of the group.

Page 8 of 8

« First

LinkBack (1)

Thread Tools

neardc

neardc What year is it again?

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 5,474

See profile

ste1973 wrote :

I tend to go with the height that the Army told me i was,(5'9") as it makes me feel better within myself, but who knows what height i really am?

.
Ste

Well, clearly a 4 inch difference is far greater than the measurement errors one might expect when measuring height (which would be, say, plus or minus a half inch or so), or the small differences in height we experience during the day (we're a little taller in the morning). Sumthin' funny is going on there...lol.

I'm sure you know how to get a reasonably accurate height measurement if you are really interested in knowing. If you are in fact 5'5" but are claiming to be 5'9" you are going to need some awfully high heels to pull that off.

- October 30th, 2009, 01:49 am

#71

packer083

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

Well i dont know why but it is true we are all insecture about something one way or another im 6'7 without shoes on which kinda sucks because i might have to duck sometimes depending on how high the doors are lol.

- November 1st, 2009, 02:42 am

#72

packer083

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

and what the big sex appela of tall guys i dont see it but that migh be because i dont talk to any girls lately at least.Just a thought.

- November 1st, 2009, 02:43 am

#73

propchick

propchick believes life's all about wandering off on tangents.

Quick Study

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 62

See profile

I had a funny experience with this, once. Up in NYC a bunch of friends and I met semi-famous musician, who always made a big deal of saying that he's "five-ten, AND A HALF". Said it over and over again, including while we were standing there next to him. The hilarious part? I'm 5' 10", all of my friends knew it, and the top of his head didn't even come to my chin. Sadly, I wasn't even wearing heels. The man couldn't possibly have been more than 5' 3". I actually had to squat slightly when someone tried to take a close-up photo of the two of us.

It's funny, but I tend to feel much more comfortable around a non-tall guy. That's weird -- I've never really thought about it before, but like someone said earlier, I tend to picture big ol' guys with dainty little petite women. Guys my height or less just seem more open, somehow. It really is funny, because I'm incredibly uncomfortable around women who are shorter than me -- I feel like a giant gawky Amazon.

Well, now that we've established that I'm crazy, let's move on...

Any of those easily disputed lies are what I call "Regal Beagle" lies, lol. Just like Larry, the people who throw out idiotic lies like that aren't planning to stick around long enough for you to find out. And if you do catch them? Ha, ha! Yep, they lied, so what? Or, as Daffy so eloquently put it: "Consequences, schmonsequences..."

- November 1st, 2009, 07:26 am

#74

umlaut

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

Why do men lie about their height for persoanls? Because height is extremely important to nearly all women when it comes to romance and sex.

Height is by far the most important physical feature of a man for women, on average, when it comes to assessing male physical attractiveness.

That’s it. Men know they are judged to a great extent by women based on their height, the taller the better (until you get to about 6’1 where that height being sought is less than that of 6’, the peak of female height preference).

I came across a study on the issue—I’m a 5’4” male, 45, that led me to some other studies and then I checked things out on Match and another site.

Studies find the above.

In terms of data, here’s what they find.

By taking the height range women list as preferred, they calculate how often a given height appears in the overall counting of women’s preferences. 6’ is the peak. About 95% of women include that in their ranges. At 5’4” about 5-10% of women include that height in their range. At 5’10 it’s probably 60-65%.

My look at sites.

On Match, a few different reviews gave me slightly different rates, mostly differing only at the shortest end of the range, i.e. like me.

One study I did showed that of 800 women chosen on my preferences--age, education, politics, location; I didn’t screen based on their height, weight, appearance in any way—about 80 included me in their range, 720 didn’t. (10% accept, 90% reject). For 6 ft, it was also about 95% accept, 5% reject—760 accept and 40 reject. At 5’10 it was close about 60-5%.

In one look, at 5’4” I was in 31 women’s height range—I can't recall exactly how many women were in the totla pool. A 5’5” man was in 3 times as many women’s height ranges. To lie by one inch and say I was 5’5” would move me from 31 to 100 potential women. To 5’6” it was an even greater expansion, and so on, and so on up to 6’ where the pool # peaked. In percentage terms each increase was a little less than that prior, but the raw numbers went up steadily to 6’. There’s a big drop-off from 5’10” to 5’9.” I think 5’9 is slightly less than 50%. So to lie by just one inch, not easily discernible on a first date dependign on s=your/her shoes, her height, clothing, where you are, etc. Would you add 1 inch given those odds?

The major academic study I just read, prompting my thinking about the issue again, found that 6’ was the peak, 6’3” was seen as the max. height by most women, and 5’9 was the minimum height for most women.

For Match, across a population of about 2900 men, I was in the shortest 25, i.e. the .9 percentile. Now many guys lie, so where do I really fit? In/at the bottom 2% based on general population statistics. But there are guys on Match in my area, age range, etc. who are shorter than me or my height who are lying and claiming to be taller. So claiming my real height makes me seem shorter-in-relative terms than I really am. Imagine a woman who looks at 500 profiles in a sitting—I’ve done it many times. She sees guys who are my height or shorter who present as being taller. Wouldn’t a guy—of any height but the tallest—feel the incentive to lie to even be portrayed in terms of their height at the accurate level of frequency?

That’s why most guys lie, not insecurity about their height per se, as if in a vacuum. The insecurity comes from the fear of being rejected based on their height—which happens all the time to guys. Unfortunately on the internet you can’t really present yourself at your best as you could in person, so the incentive to lie is even higher.

I’d never lie. Pride. And having to own up to it at some point? If her opinion of me based on height is going to change things, f her. I have nothing to be ashamed of. But the reality is is that even decent women can get hung up on the height issue, so that woman who’d give you a chance in-person might easily ignore you on-line if she’s sees your height in black and white.

Here’s my real life experience from 6 weeks ago that got me looking into all this again—this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

Was contacted by someone in my age range, law degree—I have an MA from an Ivy League school and smarts and education are very important to me--very smart, intellectual, serious, good values—many good things. She was highly, highly complimentary. I was thrilled to hear from her.

I commonly receive compliments about how well-written and clever my profile is and how intelligent I seem. I wrote back, we exchanged about 5 messages each to the point of going to talk on the phone next and then this came:

X,

I need to share something with you about which I'm very embarrassed, particularly since I'm the one who initiated our e-mailing. The reason I wrote to you is because you're obviously very bright and handsome, and I just didn't look at the stats. I'm 5'10." Our height difference is a problem for me, one that I won't overcome. >>

Y

After being sought out, complimented so highly (out of the ordinary degree), carrying on witty, smart banter for awhile, lots in common, etc. to be shot down because of a statistic is pretty tough. I think she was a self-esteem, body-image issue if her height relative to that of a male partner isn’t going to be such a big deal to her. So, I lose out, and some 5’10+ guy gets her. I don’t feel like I’ve come out ahead on the deal even if I try to discount her and say "well, obviously she was a problem." I'm the one alone.

Last edited by umlaut; November 1st, 2009 at 06:14 pm.

- November 1st, 2009, 06:04 pm

#75

maddiegal

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

I really don't understand why women would lie about their age. Or why people would lie in general. I went on an eH date and the guy was clearly 2 inches shorter than me at least! I wore boots because he said he was 5'11. I'm 5'5. I was towering over him in my boots and really aggravated because of it. It ruined my night and I chose not to see him again. If you're short guys... just be who you are! I personally don't feel comfortable if I'm taller than you, but there are others who are fine with that!

Happy Dating everyone!!

- November 3rd, 2009, 06:41 am

#76

Honest_Abe Honest_Abe is offline

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 26

See profile

i've been on a few "first meets" with women i've met on EH...some of them lie about their age and post outdated photos!

my profile is pretty straight-forward, what you see and read is pretty much what you get, thus my expectations are similar.

it kinduv messes up the initial expectations when people lie, please don't lie (guys and gals) - not only is it a turn-off, it's kinda scary.

- November 3rd, 2009, 07:18 am

#77

SactoDoug

SactoDoug is wondering why he can't get no satisfaction.

Enthusiast