jbev is offline jbev Post #1  October 11,2009, 9:11pm
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Hello everyone, hope all is well. First post on these boards, hoping to get some advice about this limbo stage I'm currently at with this girl. I'll try not make this too long...

Just for the record this isn't an eHarmony match. Been hanging out with this girl I just met recently for the past few weeks. Hit it off pretty good, have long conversations late into the night, helps allot that we are both skydivers, that's how I met this girl. When we are together we would talk for hours. The first night was like 10pm-midnight in my car outside a restaurant.

Second night, we made plans with my friend and his fiance to watch a football game at my home. When that day came, my friend and his fiance realized they had dinner plans with her parents and they couldn't come. So I was like crap, no way this girl is going to come to some dudes home that she "just" met. But she did which was awesome. We didn't even watch the game and chit chatted, were both not really into football anyway. She stayed till about midnight and I walked her out to her car. She obviously wasn't about to initiate a hug or anything. So I ended up giving her a friendly type hug and we parted our ways. Of course I told her to text me to let me know she made it home ok.

Third night with her, we were making plans to skydive. If the weather wasn't good enough for that we were talking about taking a hike together. Well the weather wasn't good for both activities, so she came over to my place again. Well when I met her outside my home to take her to dinner she gave me this HUGE passionate long hug. I was like, where did this come from? After dinner we talked for a bit, ended up streaming a movie via netflix. But when we were watching the movie she wasn't really sitting close to me on the couch. After the movie, we talked some more into the night and she was getting really sleepy. I asked if she was going to be ok to drive home. I told her that I just put clean sheets on my bed and she can have my bed and I'll just sleep on the couch. She said she was perfectly fine sleeping on the couch. We gave each other another one of those "long hugs" and went to bed. We woke up in the morning, another "long hug" I went to work and she went home.

That's basically where I am at with her. Now, between these hang out sessions we sometimes text each other back and forth and it's throughout the day practically.

I do have some concerns. Little 101 in the skydiving world. A single skydiving female is RARE. She is defiantly popular with the guys, I'm pretty sure she has more guy friend then girl friends. Which is fine because that's the way the sport is, male dominated sport. So am "I" just another one of these guy friends? However most of her guy friends are scattered throughout the country, she's a pilot so she meets all these people visiting different drop zones when she works.

Should I continue to take it slow, should I try to step it up a little? I was thinking about next time trying to cuddle with her, see what kind of reaction I get.

Any advice is welcome, by the way she's 24 and I'm 30. If that bit of info is worth anything.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #2  October 14,2009, 4:06am
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Definitely ...step it up ...don't expect her to make the first move. From what you have said here, she's definitely showing interest.

"So am "I" just another one of these guy friends?"

If she friend-zones you, it's because you did it to yourself. Stop overanalyzing.
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #3  October 14,2009, 5:55am
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Yep, I'd say step it up. How about asking her out on/suggesting an actual date?

Just because she might have a lot of guy friends doesn't automatically mean she sees YOU as just another one of them. If you assume that right from the start, you're going to keep yourself in that category and miss whatever signals she's sending you, or has sent you already.
 
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jbev is offline jbev Post #4  October 14,2009, 6:57am
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It didn't go exactly well. She came over and we did our hug thing, sat on the couch for a few and talk. Decide what we were going to do about dinner, she already ate but I didn't. Decided on take out, went to help her up from the couch, pulled her towards me to give a huge. Held her there for a few and was looking right into her eyes like I wanted to give her a smooch and she just buried her face in my shoulder.

Get take out, back to my place to watch a movie. There was even a time I was feeding her some of my dinner with my own fork. After dinner it was starting to get cold so I went to get her a blanket. I figure this is a good opportunity to try and snuggle with her, went to sit right next to her. It was kinda hard/awkward sitting position to put my arm around her so I just put my arm around her leg because she was sitting with her feet on the couch in a ball. She seemed fine, her legs were leaning toward my way.

Night goes on, movie is about over. I got a call from work I had to take because I'm call this week. Finish the call walk back to the living room and the movie was over. She was just quietly sitting there. She was txting someone on her phone, so I sit back down beside her. We talked some more, while we were talking I told her to stretch out, moved her over a little so I can lay next to her under the blanket on the couch. This is when things go really south, she did not even curl up next to me she was like a stiff board and clearly did not want to be all cuddly. After laying there for a little and talking, she got up to go to the bathroom. I just stayed there laying on the couch feeling like I just forced my self on someone. She came back for the bathroom and said she better get going because it's getting late. So I proceeded into have the "talk" because I have an open communication with someone from eHarmony and I would like to know where she stands because I don't want to waist my matches time. Thinking about it now, I probably didn't need to go into the talk due to the reaction I got from trying to cuddle. Anyway I ended up taking her hand and apologize if I made her uncomfortable. Told her I enjoy being in her presence and enjoy her company, liked her. Told her I was thinking about her over the weekend and wasn't sure where she stands when it comes to a relationship. She just told me that she is trying to get to know me better and she likes to take things slow. I said I fully respect you and your feelings that I understand.

Walked her to the car, gave her another one of those long hugs. She thanked me, said she had a nice night. Said she enjoyed hanging out at the "shire". We call my place the shire because allot of people call me frodo baggins/Elijah Wood from lord of the rings because I look like him.

Anyway, the other nights we were together, we talked about going skiing over the winter, and a horseback ride. Watch lord of the rings marathon. I don't even know if that's going to happen now or not. We are suppose to share a hotel room down at bridge day this weekend for base jumping. Who knows what is going to happen with that. If I go to bridge day that hotel room is the only place I planed on staying. It's a zoo down there.
 
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jbev is offline jbev Post #5  October 14,2009, 7:46am
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It didn't go exactly well. Came over, we did our hug thing, sat on the couch for a few and talk. Decide what we were going to do about dinner, she already ate but I didn't. Decided on take out, went to help her up from the couch, pulled her towards me to give a huge. Held her there for a few and was looking right into her eyes like I wanted to give her a smooch and she just buried her face in my shoulder.

Get take out, back to my place to watch a movie. There was even a time I was feeding her some of my dinner with my own fork. After dinner it was starting to get cold so I went to get her a blanket. I figure this is a good opportunity to try and snuggle with her, went to sit right next to her. It was kinda hard/awkward sitting position to put my arm around her so I just put my arm around her leg because she was sitting with her feet on the couch in a ball. She seemed fine, her legs were leaning toward my way.

Night goes on, movie is about over. Call from work I had to take because I'm call this week. Finish the call, walk back to the living room and the movie was over. She was just quietly sitting there. We talked some more, while we were talking I told her to stretch out, moved her over a little so I can lay next to her under the blanket on the couch. This is when things go really south, she did not even curl up next to me she was like a stiff board and clearly did not want to be all cuddly. After laying there for a little and talking, she got up to go to the bathroom. I just stayed there laying on the couch feeling like I just forced my self on her. She came back from the bathroom and said she better get going because it's getting late. So I proceeded into having the "talk" because I have an open communication with someone from eHarmony and I would like to know where she stands because I don't want to waist my matches time. Thinking about it now, I probably didn't need to go into the talk due to the reaction I got from trying to cuddle. Anyway I ended up taking her hand and apologize if I made her uncomfortable. Told her I enjoy being in her presence and enjoy her company, liked her. Told her I was thinking about her over the weekend and wasn't sure where she stands when it comes to a relationship. She just told me that she is trying to get to know me better and she likes to take things slow. I said I fully respect you and your feelings that I understand (continued)...
Last edited by jbev; October 14,2009 at 7:54am.
 
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jbev is offline jbev Post #6  October 14,2009, 7:48am
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Another one of those long hugs. Thanked me, said she had a nice night. Said she enjoyed hanging out at the "shire". We call my place the shire because allot of people call me frodo baggins/Elijah Wood from lord of the rings because I look like him. So I had her text me to let me know she got home safe and sound and txt'd. "I'm home now, thank you for tonight. NiteNite"

Other nights we were together, talked about going skiing over the winter, horseback ride. Lord of the rings marathon. Don't know if that's going to happen now or not. We are suppose to share a hotel room down at bridge day this weekend for base jumping. Who knows what is going to happen with that. If I go to bridge day that hotel room with 2 queen size beds, it is the only place I planned on staying. It's a zoo down there.

The more I think about it now, I guess it's not terribly bad. I guess it could of been worse. I have no idea, my thoughts now are just to go with the flow and take it one day at a time. I'm not going to txt her or anything this week. See if I hear from her.
Last edited by jbev; October 14,2009 at 7:59am.
 
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beentherehavetee is offline beentherehavetee Post #7  October 14,2009, 12:36pm
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From a woman's perspective, I think too much "dating" is happening at your "shire". Are you taking her out anywhere? It seems that mostly she comes to your place and you try to make your move from there. Ask her out. Take her somewhere. Maybe it seems like you are simply trying to get her in your bed!

I may be wrong, but that's my take on it.
 
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jbev is offline jbev Post #8  October 15,2009, 9:02am
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beentherehavetee wrote :
From a woman's perspective, I think too much "dating" is happening at your "shire". Are you taking her out anywhere? It seems that mostly she comes to your place and you try to make your move from there. Ask her out. Take her somewhere. Maybe it seems like you are simply trying to get her in your bed!

I may be wrong, but that's my take on it.
Her schedule is hectic due to being a pilot. Mostly weekend work, fri-sun. Most of her free time is early in the week which I work a regular 8-5 job. Kinda hard to plan something special. The other night she had things to do to prep for bridge day this weekend. We were suppose to go for a hike that day. She asked if it was ok to stop by my place to hang out on the way home which was late evening. I do take her out to eat, pay for her dinner, open doors etc etc. We haven't been to a fine dinning place because her favorite places are the "family type" restaurants.

Plus the days we did hang out, the weather has been horrible. Cold and rainy literally for weeks. That's not helping things. And I'm not that type of guy, I don't try to sleep with someone I just met. It's not even on my mind, I'm not looking for a fling, looking for someone to spend quality time with and share the same interests as me.
Last edited by jbev; October 15,2009 at 9:09am.
 
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