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Desperate2009 Desperate2009 is offline
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We had a great relationship beginning to bloom, then I made a huge mistake, and now she is so angry and hurt that she wants nothing more to do with me.

Part of me knows that I should just respect her wishes, blah, blah, blah, but I so desperately want her to talk to me again…
Yes, I know I sound desperate and pathetic, but I am.

I need some advice on what might work to get her to open up to me again? I would do ANYTHING for her, but how do I convince her of that.
I’m tried PLEADING emails, I’ve tried sending flowers, she won’t talk to me. I haven’t done anything crazy yet, but I’m worried that soon I may start straying into stalking territory, so I need to know what will WORK, rather than just upsetting her further?
I don’t want to tray and force her to speak with me, I want to demonstrate that I Love her deeply and hope that she will want to give me another chance.
Would Lavish gifts soften her response, or just creep her out?
Would a singing telegram demonstrate my affection, or only scare her?

Yes, she may not be worth it, or whatever, but I’ll never know unless I give it a try. ANY SUGGESTIONS on how to open her heart would be welcome.
- October 7th, 2009, 02:01 am
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DDjr DDjr is offline
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D09:

I assume you screwed around on this girl...

The only thing you can really do is give her a week or two during which you have NO contact with her. Let her get over the hurt and maybe remember the good things about your relationship.

Regardless, you need to use this as a learning experience. Your actions have consequences. Next time make better choices!

If you are putting yourself in situations where you can fail, you WILL fail!
- October 7th, 2009, 02:02 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 How many Fates turn around in the overtime?

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if she wants to talk to you, she knows how to get in touch with you. leave her alone.
- October 7th, 2009, 02:12 pm
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tweet37 tweet37 is offline
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Desperate2009 wrote :
I’m tried PLEADING emails, I’ve tried sending flowers, she won’t talk to me. I haven’t done anything crazy yet, ....
{snipped}
Would Lavish gifts soften her response, or just creep her out?>>
Would a singing telegram demonstrate my affection, or only scare her?
Dude, PLEADING emails and sending flowers when she dumped you is acting crazy. And sending lavish gifts and singing telegrams is even crazier.

Without any information about what you did, that's about all anyone can offer you. Why don't you tell us what you did?
- October 7th, 2009, 02:29 pm
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notyet notyet is offline
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NO ONE is worth me pleading and begging to be with. if someone does not want to be with me- whatever the reason, is does not matter- i do not want to be with them.

let her go. if she wants to be with you, she will let you know.
- October 7th, 2009, 02:49 pm
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islandrain80 islandrain80 is offline
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islandrain80 has tired feet from chasing and waiting around....

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Part of me knows that I should just respect her wishes, blah, blah, blah, but I so desperately want her to talk to me again

This part right here, where you couldn't even write what she wants...instead replaced it with "blah blah blah" seems like you don't respect what she wants.

 Yes, she may not be worth it, or whatever...

This makes you're not even sure if she's worth it. Either she is or isn't.
Respect her wishes. You can't force her to open up.
- October 7th, 2009, 02:55 pm
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Faira Faira is offline
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If she's asked you to leave her alone, the worst thing you can do is what you're doing. Seriously. You couldn't do anything more to push her further away right now (except to start with the stalking behaviour, which is going to do nothing but cause her to call the police).

By not respecting her wishes to be left alone, your message of "I love you!" is totally obliterated by one of "I love you, but not enough to behave in a way that's going to make you comfortable with me."

You're putting your need to be heard at all costs, despite repeated messages to back off, above her need to have space from you right now. That's not caring for a person. If you really cared for her, you'd listen to her say, "I'm not comfortable with interacting with you right now", you'd realize that she's doing what's best for her, and you'd stay away until she initiates contact again.

Every time you contact her when she doesn't want to, you make it a little more certain that she won't want to talk again.

Let her contact you when she wants to, and accept that it may not happen. Stop this now before you get into a really bad personal place.
Last edited by Faira; October 7th, 2009 at 08:07 pm.
- October 7th, 2009, 03:17 pm
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TheThinker TheThinker is offline
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wrote :
We had a great relationship beginning to bloom, then I made a huge mistake, and now she is so angry and hurt that she wants nothing more to do with me.


DDjr wrote :
D09:

I assume you screwed around on this girl...
Either that...or he left the toilet seat up.
- October 7th, 2009, 03:20 pm
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CapnCrunch23 CapnCrunch23 is offline
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Desperate2009 wrote :
We had a great relationship beginning to bloom, then I made a huge mistake, and now she is so angry and hurt that she wants nothing more to do with me

but I’m worried that soon I may start straying into stalking territory, so I need to know what will WORK
I think you will see her soon. Especially if you continue down this path.. Only you'll be in a police line up and she'll be behind a window pointing you out! That outta show her you love her!

You got some good advice from the other posters. I would follow it to a T. breakup pain is hard, but don't make a mistake you will regret.
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; October 7th, 2009 at 03:42 pm.
- October 7th, 2009, 03:39 pm
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Dafearon Dafearon is offline
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The ONLY thing that will work best for you is for you to let her be. You've apologized. You've clearly let her know your intentions. The ball is totally in her court. There is NOTHING you can do to make her return the ball. She may take the ball and go home. You have to live totally with her decision now. The only thing you can control is how you act and react to that. You can either wait for her to hopefully forgive you, or you can move on with your life and maybe, just maybe, she might come around again in the future.
- October 7th, 2009, 04:00 pm
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