disturbed_angel is offline disturbed_angel Post #1  October 1,2009, 11:43pm
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Can't sleep.....

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I was married at 20. We were together off and on for 8 years. We have now been divorced for 2. We have an 8 year old daughter together. We stay in touch because of our daughter, but it seems to go past that most of the time. We call each other just to talk about something that happened. He still works on my car for me. When I was recently in a wreck he gave me advice daily on how to deal with the insurance company. He then fixed my car on his own time for a total cost of $37. When we are together it seems like we are a happy family again. Then he leaves and my heart is stuck in the door. I don't know how to handle our relationship when it feels like it isn't completely over between us. He still makes me feel like he cares. I know I still care about him. I think I still love him. Once huge problem though. He is married now and has been for 2 years. His wife and I do not get along. Nor do our daughter and her. He doesn't seem really happy himself all the time, but that is normal. I guess. How do I separate my love we once had and our relationship after being with him for so long?
 
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curious_girl is offline curious_girl Post #2  October 2,2009, 12:30am
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looks catch the eye, personality captures the heart :)

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I wish I had an answer for you. Sometimes love doesn't want to die; even when it isn't returned. I think the time you two have known each other and the respect and care he has for you as the mother of his child are confusing you and leading you to believe that maybe one day you will be a family again. I've been caught in that trap myself; and it is very hard to cut yourself loose.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #3  October 2,2009, 1:22am
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It sounds like there are a lot of boundaries crossed through the familar. Breaking that and setting clear ones only related to your daughter will help some. It's nice to have such gestures like the car but it leads to a lot of confusion when there's probably a shop or another friend that could give advice.

Moving on when you love someone though is tough to do especially when you have regular contact. Since he's married, it really is more spelling that out to your heart by keeping busy...dating if you want...and keeping things more business between you and the ex.

It's not your job to make him happy anymore but you can find your own happiness.

I hope you find that special someone.
 
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