mona55 is offline mona55 Post #1  September 26,2009, 11:15pm
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hi i was just looking for some help and i dont know if this is the right and i really liked this guy and he really liked me and was willing to take one step at a time with me in a relationship but then i became one of these cling on girls and he backed right off how can i stop being like this and to show him that im not really like that?
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #2  September 28,2009, 7:22am
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Stop worrying about him and learn to respect yourself for who you are.
You don't need to 'show him' anything.

Other than that, between your lack of details and a tendency toward run-on sentences, we don't know you or what you mean by 'cling on' girl (Klingon?) so it's kind of hard to give any advice on the subject.
 
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HappyandLight is offline HappyandLight Post #3  September 28,2009, 8:59pm
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You get a life and sense of self outside of a man.

For instance, even though you meet someone special, you are still very committed to your life, passions, interests and pursue them...keeping your mind and self active and engage.

I am telling you, few things are more attractive than a passionate person, a person who has a lot going on outside of their love relationship! It's one of the most sexy things...and pretty much required.

Also, not being so desperate and needy that you feel you have to cling. Clinginess is a form of control and fear. Fear that this "catch" will leave. But you can't be that way in relationships...you have to allow the person their freedom to stay or go. Being clingy just communicates insecurity and desperation and that does not make the person feel special...he starts to feel like he is your security blanket rather than someone you really like or care for
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  September 29,2009, 11:25am
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HappyandLight wrote :
You get a life and sense of self outside of a man.

For instance, even though you meet someone special, you are still very committed to your life, passions, interests and pursue them...keeping your mind and self active and engage.

I am telling you, few things are more attractive than a passionate person, a person who has a lot going on outside of their love relationship! It's one of the most sexy things...and pretty much required.

Also, not being so desperate and needy that you feel you have to cling. Clinginess is a form of control and fear. Fear that this "catch" will leave. But you can't be that way in relationships...you have to allow the person their freedom to stay or go. Being clingy just communicates insecurity and desperation and that does not make the person feel special...he starts to feel like he is your security blanket rather than someone you really like or care for
Yes, well said.
 
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Dugl is offline Dugl Post #5  September 29,2009, 3:01pm
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mona55 wrote :
hi i was just looking for some help and i dont know if this is the right and i really liked this guy and he really liked me and was willing to take one step at a time with me in a relationship but then i became one of these cling on girls and he backed right off how can i stop being like this and to show him that im not really like that?
Maybe you need to find a compatible guy that likes clingy women ....or become a Klingon woman. I've heard they are very hot and conquer the men they want.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #6  September 29,2009, 6:00pm
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In your words, what made you become a "clingon" woman after he was willing to go one step at a time ? You have to figure out the problem before you can solve it.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #7  September 29,2009, 6:26pm
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QamuIs Heg qaq law' lorvIs yInqaq puS
(Better to die on your feet than live on your knees)

Domach 'a chIy ghoS 'epagh
(Can you be a victor of the heart as well as the sword?)

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam
(It is a good day to die)
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #8  September 29,2009, 6:33pm
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Hi Mona! I am going to assume that by a clingon girl you mean someone that becomes totally wrapped up in a guy and has to reassure herself with constant contact. Not good for a relationship and not good for you. You say you want to show him that you are not like this. Try becoming your own person. You can have a man in your life - just be sure you have a life of your own. Don't depend on him for your happiness.
 
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NathanCM is offline NathanCM Post #9  September 29,2009, 8:40pm
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Meh, don't mind clingy girls....
 
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Bootsky is offline Bootsky Post #10  September 30,2009, 11:14am
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I think you might just have to find someone who likes that kind of relationship.
 
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