Personal Life vs. Professional Life


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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #1  September 26,2009, 5:30pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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There have been several threads in the past that have talked about professional vs. personal lives and the balance (or sometimes lack of balance) that exists between these aspects of our lives.

It seems that so many of us place a great emphasis on a happy personal life, but if this is the case, why do people often wind up putting much so more energy into their professional lives?

If you are a person who feels that your personal life is more important to you, does your life and its priorities emphasize this, or are you simply unwilling to admit that work is just as important to you?

Do those of you who feel a professional life is more important use this part of your life as a substitute for a rewarding personal life? Do you hope that professional success will somehow lead you to a path of personal happiness?
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  September 26,2009, 6:37pm
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This is a great question! And it will be a hard one for me to answer.

As challenging as my job is, I LOVE it. I love interacting with folks here and on our other sites, I love getting to be creative, I love watching the sites grow. But my personal life, my "down time" is VERY important to me. BUT, my job is such that it will often interrupt my personal life. So it's a bit of a struggle for me. Even my friends get impatient with me sometimes when I'm checking my blackberry or needing to log onto their computer to check on something, etc. -- so I would reckon it would bother a romantic partner, too.

So, I guess to more specifically answer your question, although I "talk the talk" about personal life being more important, I don't "walk the walk" because part of an online Community manager's job is understanding and responding to the fact that Communities run 24/7/365 (366 on a leap year )

And although I wish my life was more my own, I would not trade my job for any other. (Well.....maybe Heiress. that sounds like a better job than mine )
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #3  September 26,2009, 7:17pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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I understand what you mean Lori. While my job doesn't have the immediate demands that yours does, it can be very demanding, and there are many who have decided that "this dating an English teacher thing just isn't for me."

My job isn't done just because I'm home. I'm just not standing in front of a classroom full of students anymore. And now that I'm wearing two hats at work, I have very little prep time, so all of my grading is done at home, as is the updating of my Web sites, and checking and creating the blogs and wikis my students respond to in class. On the nights when there isn't any grading to do, that's great, it's my time to do whatever I wish. On the nights when there's a lot to do, it's not always so great. And sometimes those nights happen with consistency. I put in just as many hours as everyone else does, just in 9 months instead of 12. But what I do is awesome, and I couldn't imagine doing anything else.

BUT, when I get my down time, I savor it, and I spend it the way I choose to. I spend time with those I choose to, I talk with who I wish to, and I completely separate myself from my job. That is very important to me because I have to have that balance. I don't want to be a teacher/curriculum specialist 24/7. Sometimes, I just want to be ME. But to be me, I must have a job that pays the bills, and it can be a vicious cycle.
 
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #4  September 26,2009, 8:09pm
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Brneyedangel, I'm not sure if this is exactly what you mean, but I've worked in a position that I absolutely hated. Everything about it (almost) was terrible. My migraines increased greatly, I came home from work unhappy everyday, and dreaded going every morning. When I was that miserable in my professional life, it had a huge effect on my personal life. I left that position to accept the one I'm in now. I really like my new job and, as a result I think, am happier all around.

So I guess that I think the two are entwined. If one is suffering, it effects the other. Likewise, if one is doing very well, it also bears on the other.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #5  September 26,2009, 8:58pm
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I think that it is a huge mistake to put one's professional life so far in front of your personal life.

I just don't quite understand the philosophy of giving up most of your youth in favor of having much more time when you are much, much older.

I would prefer a balance now & later on in life. I believe in working hard but not working your life away. I see a lot of people doing just that. Some family members included.

We all age... & it does not get better.

You also may never get to enjoy those later years for an immense amount of reasons.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #6  September 26,2009, 9:24pm
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bigfincat wrote :
I think that it is a huge mistake to put one's professional life so far in front of your personal life.

I just don't quite understand the philosophy of giving up most of your youth in favor of having much more time when you are much, much older.

I would prefer a balance now & later on in life. I believe in working hard but not working your life away. I see a lot of people doing just that. Some family members included.

We all age... & it does not get better.

You also may never get to enjoy those later years for an immense amount of reasons.
Smart man...
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #7  September 27,2009, 3:29am
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I feel that I have to balance three areas of my life: work, personal/emotional, and /creative/academic/intellectual. If one is out of whack, I can handle the stress. The other two will ameliorate any negativity in the third. If two are stressful, though, it's miserable.

Being stressed at work is a particular misery - for the last three years we had a building administrator who was a mistress of darkness manipulation. At this point, my attention was/is on securing my pension and retirement insurance; there's not enough time to rebuild with another employer, so I was stuck and couldn't leave. Luckily, I had those other two "domains" going strong and was able to weather the rough patch. If I'd not had that balance, I'd likely have had a complete meltdown.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #8  September 27,2009, 4:07pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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singinggirl wrote :
Brneyedangel, I'm not sure if this is exactly what you mean, but I've worked in a position that I absolutely hated. Everything about it (almost) was terrible. My migraines increased greatly, I came home from work unhappy everyday, and dreaded going every morning. When I was that miserable in my professional life, it had a huge effect on my personal life. I left that position to accept the one I'm in now. I really like my new job and, as a result I think, am happier all around.

So I guess that I think the two are entwined. If one is suffering, it effects the other. Likewise, if one is doing very well, it also bears on the other.
I think you make a very good point here, singinggirl. I've had jobs like this before, and they really weren't worth it at all. And when I hated my job, every other aspect of my life suffered, as well.

I'm glad to hear that you found something that is working better for you!
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #9  September 27,2009, 4:35pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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bigfincat wrote :
I think that it is a huge mistake to put one's professional life so far in front of your personal life.

I just don't quite understand the philosophy of giving up most of your youth in favor of having much more time when you are much, much older.

I would prefer a balance now & later on in life. I believe in working hard but not working your life away. I see a lot of people doing just that. Some family members included.

We all age... & it does not get better.

You also may never get to enjoy those later years for an immense amount of reasons.
I'm not sure who this is directed to, but I'll answer it.

I don't put my professional life before my personal life. I just have to balance things a bit differently because of the career that I've chosen. There are people who know, understand, and respect this about me, and people who do not. The fact is, we all have to do something to put a roof over our heads and keep food on the table. Teaching just happened to be my calling, and I'm good at it, so it worked out well.

I think it's great to have a balance now and later in life, and I believe that I'm in the position to have that now, for a lot of long drawn out reasons that you all don't really want to hear about.

I'm still quite young, and I have so many opportunities before me right now. I'm very, very fortunate, but I had to work to get here. I'm in a good place in my life right now, and I don't feel bad--I've had my share of LTRs, and I didn't deny myself a personal life--I just had to balance things differently, that's all. I don't feel I gave up my youth at all, because I've done some great things in other aspects of my life that haven't involved my job. Just because I don't do these things on the same time table as everyone else (every weekend, various week nights) doesn't mean my youth was or is a waste.

You are very right that we all age, and that it does not get better. Maybe that's why I set myself up so that I could get myself into a position that wouldn't require so much extra work later in my career, and that's exactly what's happening for me starting next year if I want it. But we'll see what life throws at me otherwise...I may like something else much more.

Sorry, didn't mean to make this an essay. Did you really expect anything less from an English teacher, though?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #10  September 27,2009, 4:55pm
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bigfincat wrote :
I think that it is a huge mistake to put one's professional life so far in front of your personal life.

I just don't quite understand the philosophy of giving up most of your youth in favor of having much more time when you are much, much older.
I don't know your age or state in life, but I suspect that if/when you get to the point where you have the opportunity to have a professional life, you'll understand the dilemma a lot better than you appear to now.
 
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