humulity25 is offline humulity25 Post #1  September 26,2009, 12:36pm
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We are of different ethnic backgrounds which is no issue for me but caused an outrage with his parents. Though I am unsure why he would mention me to them after only one date. Anyhow we talked about it and I got the vibe he liked the novelty of dating outside his race. We were out walking once and we saw some people of his race and he reached for my hand. Couldn't help but wonder if he did it for the shock value coz his people are very conservative or am I just paranoid?

HELP!!. Whats really going on here? I like him but cant tell if he likes me or just likes the shock value of us being seen together? (Believe me, we turn heads on both sides lol)
Some info from people with inter-racial dating experience would be great.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  September 26,2009, 3:46pm
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You don't mention your ethnicity or his...

As a stab in the dark: He's Indian and you're white.

There was another poster here that was in this same situation, and the answer was that the parents had a lot of sway.

As to your situation, who knows why he's interested in spending time with you! (But that's true for just about every relationship!) Spend time and see if you connect is my advise.
 
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humulity25 is offline humulity25 Post #3  September 26,2009, 5:10pm
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Thanks for the response, in case someone else is wondering he is Indian and I'm african-American. Anyone else in an IRR care to comment
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #4  September 26,2009, 7:20pm
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humulity25 wrote :
We are of different ethnic backgrounds which is no issue for me but caused an outrage with his parents. Though I am unsure why he would mention me to them after only one date. Anyhow we talked about it and I got the vibe he liked the novelty of dating outside his race. We were out walking once and we saw some people of his race and he reached for my hand. Couldn't help but wonder if he did it for the shock value coz his people are very conservative or am I just paranoid?

HELP!!. Whats really going on here? I like him but cant tell if he likes me or just likes the shock value of us being seen together? (Believe me, we turn heads on both sides lol)
Some info from people with inter-racial dating experience would be great.
Well, if you know anything about Indians (and I am assuming you mean from India) and their culture...the fact that other Indians are seeing you guys walking around in public is why he did this. Everyone knows everyone else in some way in that community and when someone has a wedding you don't just invite family/friends from his & her side but you invite the community.
As far as him reaching for your hand...that can be interpreted either way. I have heard of people dating/"having fun" outside their race but then when it comes time to settle down they go for "tradition" and staying within their own race/culture/religion. Or it could be that he is staking his claim on you in public and sending the message...she's with me...deal with it.
Like with any relationship...be aware. It shouldn't be about race but should be about what you both are bringing to the table to enrich each others lives.
 
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Dugl is offline Dugl Post #5  September 27,2009, 6:06am
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humulity25 wrote :
Thanks for the response, in case someone else is wondering he is Indian and I'm african-American. Anyone else in an IRR care to comment
I agree that the focus should be about individuals and not their ethnic backrounds. If you need a pulse for where the judgemental public stands, just watch TV commercials, shows and movies to see what polling deems acceptable by the public at large. The only thing more challenging would be if you also have a disparety in age. Best of luck.....Love always wins.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #6  September 27,2009, 4:24pm
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If he's treating you nicely I would give it a few dates and see how things go. Also, how old are you two if you don't mind my asking. I know that these days younger people are more open to dating outside of their race without thinking so much or worrying about what other people think. Do you know if this is the first time he has dated outside of his race? I would ask just out of curiousity.

I am African American and when I was in college - waaayyyyy back in the 70's, there was a really cute caucasion guy who lived next door to me in the dorms who kept asking me out. God he was cute!! Anyway, well, things weren't so open back then. I had never gone out with anyone outside my race and I attended college in a town where the Klan was present...SO I was too afraid to go out with him. I say if you are having a good time and you like him and he is into you then just try to have fun with him.

If I have learned one thing in my old age after going through a terrible marriage, being divorced for almost nine years with not that many dates, I've learned that if someone is treating me nicely I wouldn't care if his skin is purple plaid with green polka dots!!!
Last edited by TiffanyDiamond; September 28,2009 at 10:45am.
 
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