Roses11 is offline Roses11 Post #1  September 25,2009, 1:19pm
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Hello
I was wondering what men feel is "normal" communication. My last relationships the guys have called me at least once a day, text and hung out with me more than once a week. I kind of felt like that was a little clingy but now I am used to that kind of treatment and get nervous when I don't hear from a guy I am dating. I was wondering if a guy is dating a girl for a bout a month what do most people feel is a normal amount of calls and visits in a week. If I only see him once during the week and get like 2 calls and a few text..sometimes not hearing from him in a day or two normal? I don't want to be annoying and always be the one calling first but I feel like if your dating then you should be interested in what happening in their week and want to hear/see them.
I am open to any advice becuase I am frustrated and not having much luck in the dating world at this time. I have been on a few really bad dates and would really like to find a guy I just really enjoy being around! Thank you
 
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Dugl is offline Dugl Post #2  September 26,2009, 3:20pm
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I would hate to think that waiting for the phone to ring might be your daring adventure. I believe that dating is often like a shopping trip...you either like to shop or you buy something just to the search.....in other words...you are young and beautiful enough to be selective and find a guy that "fits" without alterations. The frequency of communication and interaction should fit your lifestyle and comfort level without appearing too vulnerable or needy.
 
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Flour is offline Flour Post #3  September 26,2009, 3:24pm
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wrote :
you are young and beautiful enough to be selective and find a guy that "fits" without alterations
Terrible logic. You are saying that because she is young and attractive that she should believe she is more privileged than others in relationships? Whether it's true or not, believing it is a horrible stance to take.
 
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Dugl is offline Dugl Post #4  September 26,2009, 3:45pm
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Flour wrote :
Terrible logic. You are saying that because she is young and attractive that she should believe she is more privileged than others in relationships? Whether it's true or not, believing it is a horrible stance to take.

No....your reading comprehension just sucks. I never said she was "privileged", but neither should she have phobias about why guys don't call or why she may struggle with dating.
Last edited by Dugl; September 26,2009 at 3:50pm.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #5  September 26,2009, 5:10pm
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I am not a fan of everyday communication. Every other day is fine by me.

I do very much prefer to see a date more than once per week though.

My preference would be to see each other twice a week & maybe 2 other contacts during the week.

I do compromise on this as much as I can. Obviously every week is going to be different. Some more hectic than others.
 
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Bootsky is offline Bootsky Post #6  September 27,2009, 4:51pm
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I am having the same problem. I do need to realize that not everyone likes everyday contact. I do like to be in touch with someone everyday but that is because I am excited about getting to know them. It's good to know that just because I do not hear from them everyday, it does not mean they are not interested.
 
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richey is online now richey Post #7  October 2,2009, 8:43am
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Wow.. why all these rules? (1x/week? 2x/week?) hmmm.

So I'm confused. In the past you said dates hung out with you "more than once a week" and you felt that was "clingy." Yet now, you feel like if you don't see them "more than" 1X/week that isn't enough.

Maybe you need to sit down and figure out what it is you really want and why? And maybe the answer to your question is that it's not a formula system where the "perfect relationship" is 2X/week and 5 texts a day (but above or below that is "clingy" or "not enough")?

My opinion is .... how is it feeling? Are you feeling like he is desiring you and wanting to spend time with you when he can? Or is he not? And realize also that you need to take into consideration their schedules and your schedule compatibility

Good luck.
Richey
Last edited by richey; October 2,2009 at 8:45am. Reason: incorrect wording
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #8  October 2,2009, 12:16pm
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richey wrote :
Wow.. why all these rules? (1x/week? 2x/week?) hmmm.

So I'm confused. In the past you said dates hung out with you "more than once a week" and you felt that was "clingy." Yet now, you feel like if you don't see them "more than" 1X/week that isn't enough.

Maybe you need to sit down and figure out what it is you really want and why? And maybe the answer to your question is that it's not a formula system where the "perfect relationship" is 2X/week and 5 texts a day (but above or below that is "clingy" or "not enough")?

My opinion is .... how is it feeling? Are you feeling like he is desiring you and wanting to spend time with you when he can? Or is he not? And realize also that you need to take into consideration their schedules and your schedule compatibility

Good luck.
Richey
My thoughts exactly.

If your detailed scientific formula on the exact number of syllables of communication over a period of X weekday hours + Y weekend hours is not within .5 of (10/X+Y) then you have a serious communication problem and ought to see a relationship therapist.....
Or, maybe you should just relax and adapt to different people's communication needs.

...yes, I do tend to over-analyze everything. Why do you ask?
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #9  October 2,2009, 2:21pm
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The main thing between you and the person you're dating is consistency. There doesn't have to be a "routine", but neither of you should be sitting around wondering if you've been dumped. If you usually talk once a day, make sure that happens. If you text good morning, same thing. Inconsistent behavior leads to wondering...which leads to insecurity...which tends to screw up everything.
 
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phynnyx is offline phynnyx Post #10  October 2,2009, 2:50pm
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I'm not sure if you can put a number on how many times a day or week you should talk. It should just be something that feels comfortable. You should want to communicate but if he/she gets busy and can't call for a day or two sometimes things just come up.
 
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