sandlamb is offline sandlamb Post #1  September 17,2009, 5:23pm
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I met my guy on eharmoney six months ago we live 80 miles apart and see each other only on weekends. We have introduced our children probably a month after we met - everyone one gets along fine. He's 49 and I'm 44 years old. We have been talking about buying a place together. Currently I own a house and he is renting. He needs to find a new rental by 10/01/09 which doesn't leave too much time. I have offered for him to move in with me until he finds a new apartment. He wants to purchase a house but has hinted the house of his dreams is not tangible at this time only on his income.

He declined moving in with me because the distance to his job is over 80 miles. I suggested it be short term to see if we are suitable to living together before I determine to sell my house - relocate my children to his neck of the woods. He doesn't seem to be willing to pick a new residence in the middle. It's me moving to him?

I don't know what to do at this point - it's going to be tough in this market to sell a house - never mind relocate my family to his neck of the woods where I don't know a single person - but I am willing.

It seems that I am more willing than he is - and basically over the summer I have been the one driving to him. We do not see each other during the week because of our kids - full-time jobs and he attends college 2 nights per week.

Is it worth pursuing at this point? I do love him. Should we find people in our own neck of the woods? I would like him to move in and see how it goes before - I decide to sell my house and relocate to be closer to him.

Torn at this time - tough decision.

Any suggestions would be helpful.
Last edited by sandlamb; September 17,2009 at 5:27pm.
 
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #2  September 17,2009, 7:02pm
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IMHO, it's not a good idea to move your children in with someone you've known only 6 months. You don't mention how old your kids are, but the fact is that they will be impacted by your decision and, if you discover that trying it out doesn't work out, that makes it even harder when the trial is over.

Also, I'd be really cautious about buying a house with someone that I've known only a short time and am not married to. My best friend did this and got into a financial bind when he decided that he wanted out.
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #3  September 17,2009, 7:08pm
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Does he have a better job than you have? Is his unwillingness to move based on his earnings and job potential? If not, you have issues.

I can see him asking you to make the move because he will be better able to be a provider for all of you and thinks you can get a job equal to the one you have now in the new location.

Otherwise, you're the one with the house and greater stability, if he's not willing to compromise he's just not that into you or he's a self centered guy who's not a keeper.

6 months, I agree, is not long enough to know a guy you only see weekends well enough to move in with your children.
 
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