Men, if you poof, why don't you close? Is it that hard? Please explain. Thanks.


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AsianW is offline AsianW Post #1  September 15,2009, 3:47pm
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I had to start another thread, because I really want someone to enlighten me about the following:

When a guy poofs, but why does he not just close the match? Wouldn't it be irritating to see her profile in his communication box when he is not interested in her any longer? Why would he want to be updated every time she updates her profile? Also, if he has been communicating with her for a while, would it be the nice thing to do to send an email letting her know that he is not interested. What are these men who do this thinking? Are they just cowards, and so much so that they cannot even face a keyboard and type in a short email? This is something that I don't get. Does anyone have an explanation? Men, please kindly explain it from your perspective to me so that I can finally understand. Thanks.

By the way, I think when men poof, they are actually doing me a favor, but I still do not understand the not closing the match part.
 
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jacsmit is offline jacsmit Post #2  September 15,2009, 4:36pm
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Hey you poofed on that other thread where I asked you something so I'm not going to answer your question(s)! So there. ;-P

Seriously tho, there are many different reasons for that. Someone could enumerate them if it's really necessary - but what's the point - each case is different. Why don't you close them with 'match didn't reply' and see if they try to re-open with 'if you got to know me...' ?

Oh, and ps, it's a 'people' thing - because I was getting the same from (female) matches.
Last edited by jacsmit; September 15,2009 at 4:49pm.
 
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AsianW is offline AsianW Post #3  September 15,2009, 4:58pm
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jacsmit wrote :
Hey you poofed on that other thread where I asked you something so I'm not going to answer your question(s)! So there. ;-P

Seriously tho, there are many different reasons for that. Someone could enumerate them if it's really necessary - but what's the point - each case is different. Why don't you close them with 'match didn't reply' and see if they try to re-open with 'if you got to know me...' ?

Oh, and ps, it's a 'people' thing - because I was getting the same from (female) matches.
I know it's not a female phenomenon, but I just thought that maybe there is a male twist to this. A guy perspective, and this may be different from a woman's. Kind of like men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

By the way, I didn't answer your question about details about the guy's profile because I was afraid he would read it, and realize that I am talking about him. We (or you rather) made kind of made fun of him.

Also, I know it doesn't really matter why they poofed. I don't really care about that either because as I said before, I think they are doing me a favor by not dragging it on. However, I just don't get the logic of why one does not close the match. Why continue to receive updates to the profile, be reminded about the person, if he is no longer interested? I am interested in the psychology of a guy who does this. What drives him? Come one, guys, I know some of you have done this. Please enlighten me so that I can understand. Please. I'm begging you.
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #4  September 15,2009, 6:53pm
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I'm a woman guilty of not closing. It somehow seems more hurtful to close. Just leaving it open suggests maybe you went on a long trip...........
 
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jayme1949 is offline jayme1949 Post #5  September 15,2009, 7:12pm
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[B]
JUST THINK AS IF YOU WERE ON THE RECEIVING END.

WOULD YOU MIND BEING KISSED OFF. OR WOULD WANT
THE TRUTH?
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #6  September 15,2009, 7:20pm
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I finally made it to OC and the guy poofed. And you know what? I don't care. I don't let these things take up my "brain space."

It's water under the bridge.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #7  September 15,2009, 7:33pm
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Confession time: I've "poofed" during guided communication before.

For me, it happens when I'm just getting interested in one specific woman but we're not really in a relationship yet (after a couple phone calls through the first few dates). For better or worse I'm not the type that can juggle multiple interests at once, so at that stage I'll stop responding with others in guided communication until I have a better idea of whether things are working out with the woman I'm starting to date.

I mean, I could close them out at that point, but I don't really see a reason to close when things seem good so far and I could be available again in a couple weeks. I certainly would understand if they closed on me, and if things get more serious with the person I'm dating I'll close as well. Feel free to pillory me for my approach
 
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AsianW is offline AsianW Post #8  September 15,2009, 7:37pm
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cardguy wrote :
Confession time: I've "poofed" during guided communication before.

For me, it happens when I'm just getting interested in one specific woman but we're not really in a relationship yet (after a couple phone calls through the first few dates). For better or worse I'm not the type that can juggle multiple interests at once, so at that stage I'll stop responding with others in guided communication until I have a better idea of whether things are working out with the woman I'm starting to date.

I mean, I could close them out at that point, but I don't really see a reason to close when things seem good so far and I could be available again in a couple weeks. I certainly would understand if they closed on me, and if things get more serious with the person I'm dating I'll close as well. Feel free to pillory me for my approach

Thank you for your honesty. It's refreshing, and just what I asked for.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  September 15,2009, 7:50pm
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The poofers leave the match open just in case they want to try hitting you up again someday. You know...when they've tired of whoever they're interested in at the moment.
 
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AsianW is offline AsianW Post #10  September 15,2009, 7:56pm
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jayjay wrote :
The poofers leave the match open just in case they want to try hitting you up again someday. You know...when they've tired of whoever they're interested in at the moment.
Thanks for your insight. I don't think many women will want to take the poofers back though if its been longer than a week or two.
 
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