lookingforadvice is offline lookingforadvice Post #1  September 13,2009, 10:21am
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Okay, soooo I have a crazy situation on my hands and I am just looking for some open, honest, and unbiased advice. So- I live in LA, originally I am from Ohio. I just broke up with a guy who I have been with for about 4 years, I have been single now for about 4 months. I planned a visit back to Ohio for Sept (i am on my way back to the LA now) and knowing that i was coming into town I called a guy who I have known for a few years. I have always thought he was attractive and we always got along great...I have always had a thing for him basically. So during my visit we hung out, went out with friends and got drinks and ended up spending the night together. We didn't have sex but we just enjoyed each other's company. The next night we did the same thing, but this time we did have sex :/ I wanted to, but I didn't just because I don't want it to become a sex partner just when i am visiting, I like him more than sex, but i did make that clear. So, I guess my issue is now, that I really do like this guy- a lot, a lot more than I have liked any guy in a long time, and I feel that he likes me a lot too. There are so many things pointing to it not working out but for some reason I am toying with ideas to make it work in my head. It gets worse- so he is a recovering addict, which going out drinking doesn't help, in school in Ohio, his family lives here, etc etc and I live in LA and am never going to move back to Ohio...hmmm what do I do. What I want to happen is him and I keep in touch, see each other on my visits here, him visit me, and him finish school and move out to California and be with me. WOW, what a fantasy right? Well, yes I do realize it is a fantasy but I am just saying, who knows, anything is possible right. I just cannot help thinking about him and every time i do all I do is smile. What do I do from here?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 13,2009, 10:41am
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What I would do (as the guy) is look for someone local who is, you know, actually datable. Once I found her, I would leave you. That's me, and that's because I would not attempt to have a long distance, committed situation.

Until that time I probably would see a woman infrequently (but would not pursue or indicate a relationship was forming) - though that is hypothetical, as it has never been that hard to find new partners.

In my opinion, you should look locally as well.
 
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lookingforadvice is offline lookingforadvice Post #3  September 13,2009, 11:09am
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I hear you and your response makes complete sense. I am dating people locally who i do really like a lot I just really like this guy so it really sucks!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  September 13,2009, 11:45am
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Time will do away with feelings for one person, and soon enough you'll have the feelings for someone new.

To make the distance thing work you have to stop seeing people locally (or negotiate to accept something "open"), and have a partner on the same page, and have the means to get together at whatever frequency both parties require.

People do this, but I could not.
 
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