dragonfly07 is offline dragonfly07 Post #1  September 6,2009, 5:04pm
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I ran into my first boyfriend Facebook and started talking. I hadn't seen or talked to him in years and I had finally gotten my divorce a couple months prior (after a 2yr wait). He had said that he had caught his wife cheating on him and he was in the process of leaving her. He travels alot with his work and we talked on the phone everyday and decided that we would like to date again. He came home and we met. Instant sparks again. Before he left he told me that he had always loved me and wanted to make things work between us. But again work had him out of town for a couple weeks and so we again we talked everyday. When he got back he stayed at my house for 3 days before having to leave again. The day that he after he left his cell phone was not in service so I couldn't call him. He called me almost a week later stating that his "wife" shut off his cell and had hacked into his Facebook account. He told me that he loved me and that hopefully in a couple years we could get married after things settled down with his divorce. This was almost two weeks ago and I have not heard or seen from him since. Should I stay or should I go?
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #2  September 8,2009, 11:13am
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dragonfly07 wrote :
He had said that he had caught his wife cheating on him and he was in the process of leaving her.
Sorry, I stopped reading after this part of the story.

Beware the affair.

Beware the rebound.

Both of them seem highly likely in this case.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #3  September 8,2009, 1:21pm
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It's totally up to you, since you know the guy way better than any of us do and are more familiar with the situation.

The question is - how long are you willing to wait, and how much are you willing to go through to be with him?
If he is still in the process of leaving his wife, but hasn't left her yet, then as BikerBeagle pointed out technically you are having an affair. I'm going to go with the assumption that he's a decent guy who married the wrong woman, since it was her that cheated (there are other possibilities, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt since you obviously believe he's innocent.)
Even in this case, you will have to go through a lot of waiting and probably catch a lot of backlash from his previous marriage.
It won't be easy, no matter how it turns out.
So you have to ask yourself the question, are you willing to do what it takes?
Last edited by kevin76; September 8,2009 at 1:25pm.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #4  September 8,2009, 2:03pm
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Sounds like a typical love story until the details fall out and spoil things. Get that slime suit out of the box in the closet if you decide to engage in this game.

Or you can simply keep looking and at some point later on, assuming he emerges, he can catch up and see if you are still available.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #5  September 8,2009, 6:00pm
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Hmm...I didn't realize it took 2 YEARS to get away from a cheating spouse. Can we assume that during the 3 days he spent with you with the sparks flying (while probably telling his wife he was on a business trip) that you had s-e-x ? Then someone disconnects his cell service and he poofs on you...sorry, sounds like you were a booty call. If he told you he wanted to marry you someday, don't you think he might love you enough to not leave you wondering for two weeks ?
 
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