jamesdee is offline jamesdee Post #1  September 6,2009, 9:12am
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Since my girlfriend came back from vacation a few weeks ago she seems a lot more distant then she use to be. She's hard to make plans with and doesn't seem to want to see me as often as before. I tried to talk to her about this and she says everything's fine but the more i ask the more upset she gets and says its annoying. I'm not sure if shes just depressed lately or if she's losing interest but I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with her if shes just going through a rough time in her life but I don't want to stick around if it's gonna end in me getting hurt. What should I do?
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  September 10,2009, 2:03pm
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Bumping this to see if any of our wise Community Members can lend their advice or insight here?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  September 10,2009, 2:10pm
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jamesdee wrote :
Since my girlfriend came back from vacation a few weeks ago she seems a lot more distant then she use to be. She's hard to make plans with and doesn't seem to want to see me as often as before. I tried to talk to her about this and she says everything's fine but the more i ask the more upset she gets and says its annoying. I'm not sure if shes just depressed lately or if she's losing interest but I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with her if shes just going through a rough time in her life but I don't want to stick around if it's gonna end in me getting hurt. What should I do?
eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
Bumping this to see if any of our wise Community Members can lend their advice or insight here?
You haven't given enough information for us to offer much but I'll tell you this. Any time a woman says "it's fine", it's not.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #4  September 10,2009, 2:19pm
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Stop asking her, back off, and give her the gift of missing you.
 
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View is offline View Post #5  September 10,2009, 2:28pm
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First How long has it been since she went on this trip????????????????????:rolle yes:
Then if it's been months then she has done something she can't face you with.
Give her an option tell her to tell you or your leaving simply as that. You are waiting around you deserve an answer and she should give it to you

Don't you want to know??????????????????

Good luck
 
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Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #6  September 10,2009, 5:33pm
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Not much info as to how long you've been dating, how emotionally serious it is/was, sexual intimacy involved before/after, what kind of vacation, your ages....

Did she go on a spiritual retreat with her Mom or to spring break with girlfriends?

Call me Capt Obvious but could she have stepped out on you while on vaca?
 
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Seneca is offline Seneca Post #7  September 11,2009, 6:15am
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Stop asking her "what's wrong".

It is not your responsibility to find out what's bothering her.

It is her responsibility to tell you. And if she can't do it and/or tries to say it's your resonsibility to coax her - you are MUCH better off without her.

Right now - you don't have a girlfriend, and the one you used to have isn't even acting like a worthy friend. So leave her alone.

Give her all the "space" she wants. In fact, give her total space.
If the disrespectful little snot later asks you to take her back, tell her to stop annoying you, and mean it. And don't spend any time listening to whatever half-baked excuses she tries to avoid the consequences of her snottiness.

If you want a girlfriend, get up right now and go look for one. Try to find one that is honest and acts nicer than your last one.
 
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Bearwolf102 is offline Bearwolf102 Post #8  September 11,2009, 6:56am
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My ex did this same kind of thing. If she is acting this way it is a bad sign brother.

If your are excluesive already and want it to work out you need to say this is bothering you and you would like to work it out but tell her you will not wait forever.

If she comes to you and explains to your satisfaction problem solved.

If you are not exclusive than you need to leave this alone and go out on a date with a new girl. Start meeting new people because she already is. If you can't or do not wish to do this right now than just wait it out untill she drops the hammer good or bad.

I highly recomend moveing forward today not waiting. Life is to short.

Do not be surprised when you move on if she starts finding you interesting again. It's happening to me now. Trouble for her is I am meeting some very nice girls so I am not sure if I want to go back to being treated like an option again when I am being treated like a priority now.

Good luck brother,
Bearwolf102
 
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Amethyst_Kim41 is offline Amethyst_Kim41 Post #9  September 11,2009, 7:04am
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It sounds to me that something may have transpired on your girlfriend's vacation that may be making her feel confused inside. She's distant because she's thinking but hasnt yet made up her mind. What she's doing isn't fair to you and she knows that, which is why she becomes annoyed when you ask her what's wrong.
Maybe she met someone while on vacation and she's struggling with that? Or is it possible that someone has tried troublemaking and whispering to her of a supposed misdeed of yours while she was away? Ive seen well meaning "friends" do that before.
You have 2 choices here - deal with it by having a direct talk with her to find out where you stand, or walk away. Up to you........
 
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