Housekeeping Preferences - Dealbreaker?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #1  August 27,2009, 6:21pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,376

See profile

How important is it that your potential mate keep their home neat and orderly? How much importance do you place on housecleaning?

I have friends and relatives whose places you can barely find a path to walk through, and others whose houses look like they were just photographed for a decorator's magazine. My house is somewhere in the middle. It gets cleaned up well for company, but for everyday living things can get a bit messy at times (though never totally out of control).

I once had a boyfriend who washed his sheets a minimum of 3 times a week. Before meeting him, mine got washed once every couple of weeks. He made me feel like a slob, but I don't personally know anyone else who washes their sheets as often as he does.

If your mate demanded you keep your house as clean as his June Cleaver mom used to.... Or more generally if your mate's housekeeping priorities just didn't match yours.... would you consider that a dealbreaker? Or would you figure that if you combined households, whoever placed the greater importance on housecleaning could do the cleaning to whatever level satisfied them while you took on other household chores?
 
  Reply With Quote
TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #2  August 27,2009, 6:27pm
TiffanyDiamon…'s Avatar

is so in love!!

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 1,192

See profile

I am also "somewhere in the middle." I believe in living in your space and not treating it like a china shop. If I met someone and he is excessively and obsessively neat that would not be a good fit for me unless he is going to do the cleaning. Actually even if he does the cleaning but he will get mad because something is out of place - then we would not be a good fit. I like a man who is also somewhere in the middle. I want to be comfortable where I live.
 
  Reply With Quote
PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #3  August 27,2009, 7:18pm
PR_Princess's Avatar

Fly like an eagle...Let my spirit carry me

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 685

See profile

Washing sheets 3X's a week doesn't sound very environmentally friendly and a bit obsessive compulsive A home is a place that you live in so the china shop scenario is out as well...I would have to say deal breaker. If you want June Cleaver you can hire a maid and marry her as well...as for me and my house, everyone pitches in. There will be clutter but not filth, so those dishes will be washed before bedtime (who wants crispy critters running about )
The next best thing after a nice cologne is the smell of a clean house that your sweetie has helped you with so you have energy to engage in more interesting activities
 
  Reply With Quote
tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #4  August 27,2009, 8:02pm
tommyboy047's Avatar

bye all

Pacesetter

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 275

See profile

I am somewhere in the middle to. My brother lived with us when I was married, he was obsessive with how things should be clean, he even pushed his way of loading a dishwasher, we got tired of it after 2 weeks and told him to move out. My experience with a partner has been we combine our strengths and weaknesses in house cleaning which gets the job done. When 2 people work together keeping a home clean is much easier. I couldn't live with someone that was to obsessively clean, you have to be able to live in your home and not walk around the egg shells. I guess I have been lucky so far, this has never been an issue.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  August 27,2009, 8:51pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

Wonderwoman402 wrote :
If your mate demanded...
You needn't go any further than that. Game over.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  August 27,2009, 10:16pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,438

See profile

Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Or would you figure that if you combined households, whoever placed the greater importance on housecleaning could do the cleaning to whatever level satisfied them while you took on other household chores?
this would be the most equitable way to solve the issue if there was one. i think with the right people it shouldnt be a dealbreaker assuming that both parties hold up their end of the bargain.
 
  Reply With Quote
Robert_inSD is offline Robert_inSD Post #7  August 27,2009, 10:36pm
Robert_inSD's Avatar

shares a real nebula photo. St. Valentine goes galactic!

Quick Study

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 145

See profile

Wonderwoman402 wrote :
If your mate demanded ... Or more generally if your mate's housekeeping priorities just didn't match yours....
A demand without good cause would be a deal breaker.

If your priorities (about housekeeping, or something else) differ, it's time for compromising. If everything else is great, you should at least be willing to negotiate. Approach that with an open attitude. I'm probably quoting the following poorly, but "appreciate your differences." One solution is for each partner to have a room kept "just the way they like it".
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #8  August 28,2009, 3:28am
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,318

See profile

If I didn't have a cleaning lady come every two weeks, I would probably be a little on the messy side. With the exception of a little bit of clutter laying around I think my place is cleaner than a lot that I've seen. I'll probably stay with her until one of us dies. The only thing I have to clean is the kitchen after meals. And putting stuff away. For the peace of mind, it's worth the $70 she charges me.
 
  Reply With Quote
flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #9  August 28,2009, 5:07am
flowerchild66's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 336

See profile

Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Or would you figure that if you combined households, whoever placed the greater importance on housecleaning could do the cleaning to whatever level satisfied them while you took on other household chores?

Nanette wrote :
this would be the most equitable way to solve the issue if there was one. i think with the right people it shouldnt be a dealbreaker assuming that both parties hold up their end of the bargain.
This arrangement would involve too much scorekeeping IMHO. If I were to enter into this dynamic again, I would go along with Tweet's suggestion and hire a weekly housekeeper, with both of us contributing equally to the cost.
 
  Reply With Quote
ksd is offline ksd Post #10  August 28,2009, 6:07am
ksd's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2008

Michigan

Posts: 625

See profile

I have no problem doing my share of the work. When you are living alone you hvae to do it all(or hire somone) or it does not get done. When I was married it seemed like the more I did the less she did along with some other things I wont go into because you might not believe it, which is one of the reasons we are divorced.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« should i stay or should i run like crazy? | Ask a Dating Expert | Burning question for guys »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Income Preferences doremi Using eHarmony 22 December 15,2011 9:28am
Preferences vs. Prejudice - what do YOU think? eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Dating 162 August 13,2009 6:14pm
Question about looks-based preferences eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Dating 43 August 2,2009 10:56am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:32pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0