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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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How important is it that your potential mate keep their home neat and orderly? How much importance do you place on housecleaning?

I have friends and relatives whose places you can barely find a path to walk through, and others whose houses look like they were just photographed for a decorator's magazine. My house is somewhere in the middle. It gets cleaned up well for company, but for everyday living things can get a bit messy at times (though never totally out of control).

I once had a boyfriend who washed his sheets a minimum of 3 times a week. Before meeting him, mine got washed once every couple of weeks. He made me feel like a slob, but I don't personally know anyone else who washes their sheets as often as he does.

If your mate demanded you keep your house as clean as his June Cleaver mom used to.... Or more generally if your mate's housekeeping priorities just didn't match yours.... would you consider that a dealbreaker? Or would you figure that if you combined households, whoever placed the greater importance on housecleaning could do the cleaning to whatever level satisfied them while you took on other household chores?
- August 27th, 2009, 07:21 pm
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TiffanyDiamond TiffanyDiamond is offline
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I am also "somewhere in the middle." I believe in living in your space and not treating it like a china shop. If I met someone and he is excessively and obsessively neat that would not be a good fit for me unless he is going to do the cleaning. Actually even if he does the cleaning but he will get mad because something is out of place - then we would not be a good fit. I like a man who is also somewhere in the middle. I want to be comfortable where I live.
- August 27th, 2009, 07:27 pm
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PR_Princess PR_Princess is offline
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Washing sheets 3X's a week doesn't sound very environmentally friendly and a bit obsessive compulsive A home is a place that you live in so the china shop scenario is out as well...I would have to say deal breaker. If you want June Cleaver you can hire a maid and marry her as well...as for me and my house, everyone pitches in. There will be clutter but not filth, so those dishes will be washed before bedtime (who wants crispy critters running about )
The next best thing after a nice cologne is the smell of a clean house that your sweetie has helped you with so you have energy to engage in more interesting activities
- August 27th, 2009, 08:18 pm
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tommyboy047 tommyboy047 is offline
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I am somewhere in the middle to. My brother lived with us when I was married, he was obsessive with how things should be clean, he even pushed his way of loading a dishwasher, we got tired of it after 2 weeks and told him to move out. My experience with a partner has been we combine our strengths and weaknesses in house cleaning which gets the job done. When 2 people work together keeping a home clean is much easier. I couldn't live with someone that was to obsessively clean, you have to be able to live in your home and not walk around the egg shells. I guess I have been lucky so far, this has never been an issue.
- August 27th, 2009, 09:02 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
If your mate demanded...
You needn't go any further than that. Game over.
- August 27th, 2009, 09:51 pm
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Nanette Nanette is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Or would you figure that if you combined households, whoever placed the greater importance on housecleaning could do the cleaning to whatever level satisfied them while you took on other household chores?
this would be the most equitable way to solve the issue if there was one. i think with the right people it shouldnt be a dealbreaker assuming that both parties hold up their end of the bargain.
- August 27th, 2009, 11:16 pm
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Robert_inSD Robert_inSD is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
If your mate demanded ... Or more generally if your mate's housekeeping priorities just didn't match yours....
A demand without good cause would be a deal breaker.

If your priorities (about housekeeping, or something else) differ, it's time for compromising. If everything else is great, you should at least be willing to negotiate. Approach that with an open attitude. I'm probably quoting the following poorly, but "appreciate your differences." One solution is for each partner to have a room kept "just the way they like it".
- August 27th, 2009, 11:36 pm
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If I didn't have a cleaning lady come every two weeks, I would probably be a little on the messy side. With the exception of a little bit of clutter laying around I think my place is cleaner than a lot that I've seen. I'll probably stay with her until one of us dies. The only thing I have to clean is the kitchen after meals. And putting stuff away. For the peace of mind, it's worth the $70 she charges me.
- August 28th, 2009, 04:28 am
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flowerchild66 flowerchild66 is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Or would you figure that if you combined households, whoever placed the greater importance on housecleaning could do the cleaning to whatever level satisfied them while you took on other household chores?

Nanette wrote :
this would be the most equitable way to solve the issue if there was one. i think with the right people it shouldnt be a dealbreaker assuming that both parties hold up their end of the bargain.
This arrangement would involve too much scorekeeping IMHO. If I were to enter into this dynamic again, I would go along with Tweet's suggestion and hire a weekly housekeeper, with both of us contributing equally to the cost.
- August 28th, 2009, 06:07 am
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ksd ksd is offline
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I have no problem doing my share of the work. When you are living alone you hvae to do it all(or hire somone) or it does not get done. When I was married it seemed like the more I did the less she did along with some other things I wont go into because you might not believe it, which is one of the reasons we are divorced.
- August 28th, 2009, 07:07 am
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